Religious author Joanna Weaver once said, “Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” Figuratively, this illustrates the point that a bitter person is usually focused on the person with whom they are angry, not recognizing the damage that is being done to their selves in the process. In the Universal Life Church we urge all of our interfaith ministers to not only think about the figurative implications of this statement, but the literal significance as well.
Whether Ms. Weaver was aware of it or not when she wrote these words, recent studies have shown that bitterness and anger can actually have negative physical effects on the human body, particularly on the heart. According to Katherine Kam, a regular contributor to WebMD, anger may cause a person’s “fight or flight” response to trigger within the body. One of the many results of this response is a sudden increase in blood pressure and stress hormones, including cortisol and adrenaline. People who are bitter or angry on a regular basis simply raise their chances of having a negative reaction to this physiological response, even including the chance of a heart attack.
More than just physiological, though, bitterness drives wedges of separation into relationships. The Universal Life Church invites all faith backgrounds and traditions to worship freely. This concept of spiritual freedom has the potential the lead to disagreements, which sometimes result in anger and bitterness. However, by affirming the right of each individual to choose freely and allowing people from all backgrounds to become interfaith ministers, we strive to bridge these differences by centering on the concept, “Do only that which is right.”
We believe that judgment leads to bitterness in the heart. Unlike some churches and religions that come across as very exclusive and condemnatory, the Universal Life Church leads with acceptance of all. Not only does this mantra lead to better relationships with people around the world, but according to these recent medical studies, it also keeps our interfaith ministers in good health as they continue the work of our church.
Relationally, physiologically, mentally and spiritually, there are numerous reasons for avoiding bitterness. As a minister, people follow your lead. Congregants recognize your strengths and weaknesses more effectively than you recognize them yourself. Sometimes ministers can feel like they have their own bitterness under control, hiding their anger under a façade of kindness. However, those with whom a minister comes into regular contact are able to see through the veil and recognize the anger in a minister’s heart nonetheless. For the good of yourself, your family, and for those whom you serve, avoid the ill effects of bitterness at all costs. You do not want to be the bad apple that spoils the bunch; especially when people are looking to you to their spiritual guide and leader.
So next time you feel bitterness creeping up in your heart, remember to lead with acceptance instead of judgment, for the good of the relationship at hand and for the good of your own health.
