What You Should Know About Eloping

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What You Should Know About Eloping

Couples Eloping is not anything new. For many engaged couples around the world, sharing life together as spouses is something to anticipate and celebrate. Engaged Canadian couples have much to look forward to, but sometimes the wedding itself can be a major source of stress. While the day is all about you and your partner, there are pressures, internal and external, that can inspire feelings of anxiety and dread. You have to make accommodations for the ceremony, including for loved ones. The idea of eloping grows more appealing each day, but you have misgivings about not excluding those who are near and dear. Is it selfish to elope? Here’s what you should know.

Exploring Elopement

Historically, eloping meant marrying someone suddenly and usually in secret. The implication was that you and your partner escaped from everyone else to tie the knot. In such cases, the marriage was solemnized without the approval of family, especially parents and in-laws. Sometimes couples would elope to avoid cultural and religious customs or requirements during the engagement period. Everyone would learn of the union after the fact. Nowadays, an inexpensive, no-muss, no-fuss ceremony is commonly described as an elopement, even with knowledge and participation from others.

Eloping While Making Yourself a Priority

Wedding celebrations have the ironic quality of being both about a couple’s needs and preferences and involving those who are near and dear. After all, in Canada, couples can be married by judges, justices of the peace, or court clerks, depending on provincial requirements. Many couples want to include loved ones, but even modest events can be daunting. Honoring traditions, securing approval from others, and even bankrolling the event can be stressful. You might think that eloping is selfish, but consider these truths:

  • It’s self-care, not selfishness: How ironic and sad it would be if the so-called happiest day of your life was marred by stress and anxiety? You’re entitled to do what’s necessary to take care of yourself.
  • It’s a celebration of you and your spouse: Others’ opinions aren’t unimportant, but ultimately, you know what’s best.
  • It’s your special day: At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is tying the knot with the love of your life. It’s your wedding, and you’ll elope if you want to!
  • It should be a day you remember fondly: As with most couples, you’ll acknowledge each anniversary with celebration and reflection. You want your wedding day to be something that makes you smile, not wince.

Eloping And Calling Others In

Eliminating stress and saving money are worthwhile goals, but you can also soften the blow of elopement with communication and inclusion. Consider these tips:

  • Tell others why you want to elope: Being honest about your motivations and fears helps to mitigate hurt feelings.
  • Hold space for others’ feelings: It’s ok to validate how friends and family feel about not being included.
  • Invite others to participate: Look for ways to include the ones you love in your elopement plans, as appropriate. You can also invite them to help you shop for wedding attire or other pre-ceremony traditions, even if they’re scaled back.
  • Throw an engagement party: Have a party for those who are closest and inform them of your plans then.
  • Throw a post-wedding get-together: While you should still let people know ahead of time, a post-wedding party is an opportunity to bring your special people together to celebrate.
  • Bring others “along” for the fun: Going live or sharing videos and images from your elopement on social media keeps family and friends in the loop. This is especially a good idea if you have a destination wedding or honeymoon.

Eloping isn’t selfish, even if you are “escaping” the pressure of a big wedding with all the bells and whistles. While there are ways to include special people in your plans, it’s ultimately about what’s best for you and your partner. It’s your marriage. You get to decide how to kick things off.

What You Should Know About Eloping

Couples Eloping is not anything new. For many engaged couples around the world, sharing life together as spouses is something to anticipate and celebrate. Engaged Canadian couples have much to look forward to, but sometimes the wedding itself can be a major source of stress. While the day is all about you and your partner, there are pressures, internal and external, that can inspire feelings of anxiety and dread. You have to make accommodations for the ceremony, including for loved ones. The idea of eloping grows more appealing each day, but you have misgivings about not excluding those who are near and dear. Is it selfish to elope? Here’s what you should know.

Exploring Elopement

Historically, eloping meant marrying someone suddenly and usually in secret. The implication was that you and your partner escaped from everyone else to tie the knot. In such cases, the marriage was solemnized without the approval of family, especially parents and in-laws. Sometimes couples would elope to avoid cultural and religious customs or requirements during the engagement period. Everyone would learn of the union after the fact. Nowadays, an inexpensive, no-muss, no-fuss ceremony is commonly described as an elopement, even with knowledge and participation from others.

Eloping While Making Yourself a Priority

Wedding celebrations have the ironic quality of being both about a couple’s needs and preferences and involving those who are near and dear. After all, in Canada, couples can be married by judges, justices of the peace, or court clerks, depending on provincial requirements. Many couples want to include loved ones, but even modest events can be daunting. Honoring traditions, securing approval from others, and even bankrolling the event can be stressful. You might think that eloping is selfish, but consider these truths:

  • It’s self-care, not selfishness: How ironic and sad it would be if the so-called happiest day of your life was marred by stress and anxiety? You’re entitled to do what’s necessary to take care of yourself.
  • It’s a celebration of you and your spouse: Others’ opinions aren’t unimportant, but ultimately, you know what’s best.
  • It’s your special day: At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is tying the knot with the love of your life. It’s your wedding, and you’ll elope if you want to!
  • It should be a day you remember fondly: As with most couples, you’ll acknowledge each anniversary with celebration and reflection. You want your wedding day to be something that makes you smile, not wince.

Eloping And Calling Others In

Eliminating stress and saving money are worthwhile goals, but you can also soften the blow of elopement with communication and inclusion. Consider these tips:

  • Tell others why you want to elope: Being honest about your motivations and fears helps to mitigate hurt feelings.
  • Hold space for others’ feelings: It’s ok to validate how friends and family feel about not being included.
  • Invite others to participate: Look for ways to include the ones you love in your elopement plans, as appropriate. You can also invite them to help you shop for wedding attire or other pre-ceremony traditions, even if they’re scaled back.
  • Throw an engagement party: Have a party for those who are closest and inform them of your plans then.
  • Throw a post-wedding get-together: While you should still let people know ahead of time, a post-wedding party is an opportunity to bring your special people together to celebrate.
  • Bring others “along” for the fun: Going live or sharing videos and images from your elopement on social media keeps family and friends in the loop. This is especially a good idea if you have a destination wedding or honeymoon.

Eloping isn’t selfish, even if you are “escaping” the pressure of a big wedding with all the bells and whistles. While there are ways to include special people in your plans, it’s ultimately about what’s best for you and your partner. It’s your marriage. You get to decide how to kick things off.

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