No Maid of Honor? No Problem!
If you don’t want a maid of honor, it can be helpful to familiarize yourself with this information before deciding what the best choice is for your big day.
There are a lot of moving parts involved with planning your wedding. Often, couples want all the help possible to get the entire event up and running. Having a maid of honor can be invaluable during this time, as this individual tends to take on a lot of duties throughout the process. Still, you may not feel like you want a maid of honor. There are plenty of reasons for this decision, from not knowing who to select to wanting to keep the affair simple. There is no rule saying you absolutely must have someone fill this role.
If you don’t want a maid of honor, it can be helpful to familiarize yourself a bit with the choice you’re making. Look over this information and decide what the best choice is for your big day.
What Does the Maid of Honor Do?
The maid of honor is usually responsible for a number of different tasks associated with the wedding. Usually these responsibilities include throwing a shower and bachelorette party, taking on jobs like mailing invitations, and keeping tabs on all the members of the wedding party. When you don’t have someone acting in this role, you will need to either take these tasks on yourself or find someone who can organize things for you. Having help is always a plus, even when you aren’t asking someone to be your maid of honor.
You also will need to think about your wedding party. Are you planning on having bridesmaids and groomsmen? You can still have a wedding party without a maid of honor. In fact, some couples make the choice to forego this position in the party because there are too many qualified options. When you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, you can ditch the maid of honor and simply go with having bridesmaids. This can ultimately be a helpful decision, as you can delegate various duties to each member of the party rather than relying on one specific person.
As mentioned, the maid of honor is also the person who traditionally puts together the wedding shower. By removing this person from the equation, you’ll need to arrange the plans yourself or find someone else who can take on the job. This could be a perfect task for your mother or the mother of your partner, especially if she wanted to get involved and you didn’t know what to offer. You may also want to see if the members of your wedding party would like to plan this for you, though it is likely you’ll need to give warning.
Showers are also not a requirement. If you had an engagement party, then throwing a shower might be a bit too much. These days, couples are moving away from the traditional route of having a shower. You’re already planning your wedding; you might not want to add yet another event to your calendar that you need to help organize. When you opt not to have a maid of honor, you’ll need to make this decision for yourself and determine whether or not you find a shower necessary.
Trusting Your Significant Other
In the past, the maid of honor would take on a lot of responsibilities that otherwise could have been performed by the groom-to-be. Since more and more couples are contributing equally when it comes to planning a wedding, it is likely you can simply ask your partner to take on many of the jobs the maid would have received. When you have the support of your significant other, the entire process will be a lot easier than trying to do everything by yourself.
The decision to use a maid of honor in your wedding comes down to your own preference. As long as you have people who can assist you along the way, you should be able to take on whatever tasks await.
A Guide To Hosting a Bridal Shower
Preparing to throw a bridal shower? Take a look at some of these common questions people have when first putting together a bridal shower.
When a close friend or relative decides to task you with the responsibility of putting together a bridal shower, it can be a big honor. You want to make sure you throw an event that will satisfy the happy couple without straying too far from their sensibilities. Of course, there are also a lot of tasks associated with this kind of event. If you’ve never had to throw a party like this before, you might not be sure how to get things going. Thankfully, a bridal shower is far from an impossible task to accomplish.
Take a look at some of these common questions people have when first putting together a bridal shower. Learning these answers early can help you throw a fantastic event to celebrate the happy couple.
Inviting the Right People
One of the most difficult things you’ll have to figure out is who to invite to the shower. The couple most likely will be spending a ridiculous amount of time ironing out the details of the wedding guest list, which means you can’t just invite anyone to this party. The biggest rule to remember for invitations is that you should not be inviting anyone to the shower who will not be receiving an invitation to the wedding itself. The best way to avoid this mistake is by coordinating with the couple and figuring out exactly who they would like invited.
Depending on how close you are to the nearlyweds, you might be able to simply use your best judgment with the invitations. When you already know their friends and family members, you most likely will have a good idea of who should be receiving an invitation. When you aren’t sure, reach out and try to get some more information. Don’t guess when you aren’t positive, as you might wind up making an awkward error. It also is a good idea to try and keep the event small, as you are probably paying for it.
All in the Timing
You also may need a bit of information on when you should be planning this event. More often than not, the couple will ask you to throw the shower by a certain time. In specific cases, you might be told by the bride or groom exactly when he or she wishes the party held. When you aren’t given any set details to follow, you’ll need to select the date yourself. Generally, you want to have the shower no earlier than five months before the date of the wedding.
On the reverse side, you want the shower to be at least three weeks before the wedding. This large gap of time makes it easy to pick a date and have enough room to plan out all the details. Unless the event is very small, you are most likely going to need a little bit of help organizing everything. Try to not involve the couple too much. Instead, reach out to other close friends and see who might be able to offer some assistance. Involving a few other people can also keep the costs down, which is a huge help.
Finally, if you are a maid of honor or member of the wedding party, you need to respect the wishes of the nearlyweds. When you are told that they don’t want a shower, you should not take it upon yourself to throw one. It might seem like a fun idea, but you do not want to go against a specific request. Do what is asked of you, and you’ll be the biggest asset that the couple requires.
Putting together a wedding shower takes a bit of time. As long as you don’t rush into the responsibility, you should have no trouble throwing a lovely event.
Delegating Responsibilities to Your Wedding Party
Choosing the members of your wedding party can be exciting, but some brides and grooms make the mistake of asking too much of their wedding party.
Selecting the members of your wedding party can be a fun and rewarding experience. This is the chance to get sentimental with the friends and family members who have been with you through thick and thin. Of course, it also can be asking a whole lot of the people in your life. Some brides and grooms make the mistake of putting far more on the shoulders of their parties than they should. You want to still be close friends with these people after the wedding has finished, so it is important to take caution.
To get a better feel for what is reasonable to ask of your wedding party members, it is a good idea to take a look at what other people have established over the years. By following a blend of customary techniques and personal adjustments, you and your partner should be able to come up with a balanced plan for the members of your wedding party.
Showers and Outings
Marriage can cost a small fortune. Since you have a lot of financial responsibilities on your plate, it is traditional to turn to the members of your bridal party to foot the bill when necessary. Any finances related to the wedding itself will fall on you and your partner to take care of. However, preliminary events like showers and bachelor or bachelorette parties are a very different story. For the most part, members of the party will be responsible for covering the expenses related to these extra events.
While it is customary for the party members to plan, execute, and cover the costs of these aspects of the wedding, you need to make sure you aren’t asking more than you should. A bachelorette party is one thing, but asking your party members to fly to another country to go on a wine tour for a week is a bit more intense. Stay reasonable in your requests, or cover the costs of the expenses you are demanding. Asking your party members to cover lavish costs for your farfetched ideas can be insensitive.
Covering Your Own Finances
The men and women who make up your party are going to need to take care of many expenses for your special day. Still, you will need to make sure you are taking care of other costs. Any financial obligations related to hair and makeup on the day of the wedding, for example, will fall onto the happy couple. This is also true of costs centering around transportation to and from the venue, floral accessories like a bouquet, and lodging for the night before the actual ceremony.
Knowing what costs you should be covering can help you to keep the members of your wedding party happy and ready for anything you throw at them. Buying gifts for the men and women in your party will also show your appreciation. Try to get a gift that is both sentimental and effective at showcasing how happy you are to have each individual involved with your wedding.
Finally, travel can be tricky to figure out with your party members. In most cases, people in your wedding party are responsible for arriving at your venue on their own. You also might consider covering some of the costs for members of the party who are traveling a far distance to get to your special event.
The people who comprise your wedding party are going to have a big impact on how your day turns out. When the time comes to start asking members of the party to take care of certain duties, it can be helpful to have a grasp on what you should and should not ask. Use your discretion, and you will be able to take the best course of action.