A dear friend is preparing to tie the knot and has asked you to be an usher for the wedding. You may or may not have been to past weddings where there were ushers. You might think you know what you’re to do, having attended a church service before. But maybe you still have questions. Do you perform the same duties as a doorperson for a funeral or some other ceremony? What is the expected commitment level? Are you just a second-tier bridesmaid or groomsman? Here are some things to know about being an usher.
Usher Taking It Seriously
First, you should recognize that serving as an usher is serious business. It’s not an afterthought role casually asked of you by the happy couple. Your friend or family member wants to honor your relationship and has asked you to be a formal participant in this momentous occasion. You provide support to the couple and help relieve some of the pressure by performing your role. Acknowledge the privilege of being asked to serve, and let your loved one know if you’re able to participate as soon as possible.
Understanding Your Duties
After you’ve accepted your role as an usher, you’ll need to know what’s expected of you. You should ask your friends or a wedding planner about your duties, other details such as attire, and other obligations for the big day and surrounding events. Typically, these attendants are responsible for the following:
- Greeting Guests: You will likely be the first person many wedding attendees see. Your attitude and how you present yourself can set the tone, so be friendly and look sharp.
- Escorting Attendees: Ushers are almost always responsible for escorting people to their seats. You’ll need to know if people are supposed to sit on a certain side of the aisle. You may be asked to escort some very important people to reserved seating, like parents or grandparents of the spouses-to-be. Be mindful that some guests move at a slower pace or need extra support in finding their seat.
- Passing Out Programs: While some ceremonies have programs available outside for guests to take, you may be responsible for handing these out when people enter the venue. Pay special attention here, as there might only be one program per group instead of per person.
- Opening Doors: Sometimes ushers are expected to open and close the doors to the chapel, hall, or sanctuary at various parts of the ceremony, especially for a bride’s processional and recessional.
Depending on the details, you may be asked to seat late arrivals, direct people to an overflow room or assist with parking. For other events such as the rehearsal dinner or reception, there may be additional duties according to the needs or wants of the couple.
Dressing the Part
Attire requirements are typically expected of people who stand beside the couple at the altar, such as a best man or maid of honor. While there may not be formal rules for the ushers, you should find out if the couple has any expectations. Consider coordinating what you wear with the other ushers so that nobody looks conspicuous or draws attention away from the happy couple. If your friends are going with a more casual look, you should probably avoid something too formal or fussy. It’s better to ask questions than make assumptions.
Being invited to witness the union of loved ones is an honor. Being asked to be a part of the ceremony is an even greater honor. Consider it a privilege that you were asked to participate in someone’s special day as an usher. Not only are you a member of the wedding party, but you also play an important part in how guests will perceive the ceremony. Get in there and be the best usher you can be!
