Thank You Notes

Tips for Writing Thank-You Notes for the Newly Married Couple
Vintage floral vector card with colorful summer garden flowers.

It seems as if sending letters through the mail is passé. While most of the time it’s okay to send your friends an email or text instead of a snail-mail message, there are at least two times when electronic messages are discouraged. When you have a friend that passes away, you should take the time to write a note or card and mail it. This lets the family open it when they’re ready. It’s just good etiquette.

Thank-you notes for wedding gifts are another time when you (and your spouse) should send a handwritten note. Your guests took time to give you a special gift. It’s customary to send the thank-you in the mail. The task can be overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. Let’s look at some ways you can make it easier to get these notes out in the mail. You cannot post a generic thank-you on your website or send a form email to your guests.

As the Gifts Come In

  • Be responsible and track what gifts you’ve received and from whom. This will make your life much easier later.
  • Put someone in charge of tracking gifts at each shower and taping cards to gifts for later.
  • Have someone you trust take care of wedding gifts received at the reception. Give that person a roll of tape to attach cards to gifts before transport.
  • Spend one evening writing thank-you notes for bridal shower gifts. Ask your spouse to help. This eliminates having to write so many after the wedding.
  • Acknowledge shipped gifts when you receive them, which is another way to save time after the wedding. This also lets the recipient know the gift has been received.
  • Order custom thank-you cards before the wedding when you’re ordering invitations to have them ready to go. Have stamps on hand, too. This lets you choose the stamps you want to use.
  • Print out return address labels or order them. Have two sets: one for before the wedding and one with your married name.
  • Separate notes are required for each gift at each party. You should not write one note to one person who attended the engagement party, bridal shower and wedding and gave you three gifts.

After the Wedding When You’re Writing Notes

  • Personalize each card. Reference the individual who gave you the gift and the gift itself.
  • Don’t feel as if you have to gush. Just be enthusiastic.
  • Don’t mention that you might return the gift.
  • For monetary gifts, mention how you used the funds. It’s okay not to mention the amount, but you can if you choose.
  • If you want to use wedding photos in the cards, make sure you can get them back promptly. Don’t delay sending notes because you’re waiting on photos.
  • Don’t use form letters or a pre-printed card.
  • Both of you should be involved in sending notes, no matter which side of the family gave the gift. This may be the first time you and your new spouse have to work together after the ceremony.
  • Do the thank-you notes in batches, say 20 every evening. It won’t take long to knock them all out and you won’t get so burned out as you do them.
  • If you aren’t familiar with the gift-giver, use formal greetings. It’s okay to address someone as “Mrs. Smith” if that’s how you know her.
  • It’s also very nice to address their presence at the wedding. You might even wish to send notes to everyone who attended.

No, you don’t have a year to write thank-you notes. At one time, that might have been the rule, but it’s not today. Get those notes out ASAP, within a month of your wedding. Your job isn’t done until the thank-yous have been sent.

The Art of the Thank You Note

Eco-friendly weddings are on trend. Sending digital invites and using a website to provide information about your wedding is a great way to save time and paper. If you’re considering sending digital thank you notes, consider these reasons for handwriting your thank you notes.

Handwritten Notes Are More Personal

Setting words on paper takes time. It’s very easy to dash off a text or email. When you sit down to write thank you notes, it’s an investment in your time and emotions. You may have to think about what to write before you set it in ink. Handwritten notes are often more authentic and thoughtful than digital notes. The recipient will know you cared enough to take time out of your busy schedule to write a note.

Everyone Loves To Get Mail

When you send and mail a handwritten note, it stands out. Who doesn’t like to find something special in the mailbox? Think about how many emails or texts you get each day. How many of those do you really remember and save? Many people keep handwritten notes and cards for months, even years. A wedding thank you note is about more than just the gift. You can thank someone for showing up and supporting your relationship or for being there during your life. Reading those words may be just what the recipient needs to hear.

Handwritten Notes Show Gratitude

When you send digital missives, it’s easy to rewrite the note until you get it just right. When writing thank you notes by hand, you either get it right the first time or start over on a new card. After a while, that could be expensive. Handwritten notes can share your gratitude more authentically than digital notes.

Know Who Gets Thank You Notes

Every guest who showed up for your wedding should get a thank you note, whether or not they brought a present. You should also send thank you notes for each gift received at other wedding parties, like for your engagement or wedding shower. Even with smaller weddings, you want to keep up with those notes so you aren’t overwhelmed after the wedding.

Tips To Keep Up With a Mountain of Thank You Notes

You may have 100 or more thank-you notes to write after the wedding and honeymoon. You may be ready to be done with wedding planning and move on. The key to tackling this final task is to plan ahead. Start by ordering thank you notes when you order your invitations, even if you use digital invites. 

Discuss thank you notes with your future spouse when you start planning your wedding. Ensure you’re both on the same page with how you plan to handle the notes. Buy stamps. Make address return labels. Track home addresses as you get gifts from your friends and family. This will make the job of writing notes much more manageable.

Have a page in your wedding planning notebook for people who need thank-you notes. Instead of waiting until after the wedding, write notes as you receive gifts. You can wait to mail them after the wedding. If you spend a half hour each week writing a couple of notes, it will dramatically reduce your time when you get home from your honeymoon.

Don’t Procrastinate 

Plan an evening after the honeymoon when you and your partner will sit down and plow through the rest of your thank you notes. Maybe you can ask one or two friends to help you with the notes and to keep you accountable. Your friends and family will think you’re organized and on top of things when they receive handwritten thank-you notes.