suicide

The Myths of Men’s Depression
Men's Depression is extremely hard to overcome without help.

Men’s Depression is difficult to address. Most men do not wish to leave themselves exposed to that degree.

October 10 marked World Mental Health Day. The focus this year was on raising awareness about men’s depression and mental health. The second leading cause of disability in the world is depression. Sixteen percent of Canadian women experience a major depression at least once in their life. Men, although perceived as more stalwart and less emotional than women, experience depression at a rate of about 11 percent, according to figures from Health Canada. This means that about 840,000 men are affected by depression. The more startling figure is that Canadian men account for more than four times the number of suicides than women. Depression is a leading cause of suicide, which means that this mental health disorder has to be addressed.

Men may find it more difficult to get help because of the misconceptions about depression. Headsupguys.org, funded through Movember Foundation and the University of British Columbia, has launched a movement to help men find the help and support they need to get past depression. On the Headsupguys websites, men share personal stories of overcoming depression as a way to encourage others to reach out for help. To help these measures, we would like to share some of the myths about depression to give you information about getting better. Share with a loved one or use it for yourself.

Misconceptions About Men’s Depression

  • Depression is a sign of weakness – No, it’s not. Depression is actually a real illness with treatment available from your doctor and therapist.
  • Real men don’t let things get to them and stay in control of their emotions – Not true. The real strength is in facing the daily challenges that arise in your life and dealing with them, no matter what your emotions do.
  • Being sad is unmanly – Nope. All humans feel a huge range of emotions every day, sadness included. Men feel many different things and shouldn’t be scared of sadness.
  • Men should be able to cope on their own without asking for help – Truly, this is wrong. If you broke your arm, you wouldn’t hesitate to ask a professional for help. In business, you’re encouraged to have a mentor. Asking for help and guidance when you’re experiencing mental health problems is not a sign of weakness. It’s actually one of the smartest things you can do.
  • If you have enough willpower, you can snap out of depression – A big misconception, and completely false. Much like you couldn’t make yourself get over cancer, you cannot just get over depression. You need new tools and resources to learn to approach your life differently and overcome this disorder.

Reaching Out for Help

Once you understand that depression is a serious illness, that doesn’t make it easy to just get help. But you have to take that first step. What can you do? If you’re worried about talking to your doctor, start with a loved one who can help you reach out. Your spouse, your parents, your siblings and even your adult children are a good place to start. Depression makes it difficult to move forward in your life. Ask for help.

Call your doctor and make an appointment to get the ball rolling. Your doctor can go over your symptoms with you and help you find the mental health resources you need. A doctor might suggest medication along with therapy. Don’t be afraid to at least talk about the options. Getting better and back to your life is the most important thing.

There are many 24/7 health crisis lines in Canada that you can call when you want help. Don’t be afraid to reach out. You won’t be wasting their time. The services are anonymous and confidential. Calls are not recorded. If you are in imminent risk, you will be asked if it’s okay to send help. Your privacy will not be violated, and you may find the resources you need.

Get Ready to Participate in World Suicide Prevention Day
Suicide Prevention Day

We have the ability to stop others from attempting suicide. We need to reach out to others and lend a helping hand to those who desperately need it.

This past spring, Canada experienced a crisis of suicides in its aboriginal population. In one northern Ontario community, more than 125 individuals attempted suicide in about a six-month time frame. Considering that the community itself only has a population of about 2,000, that figure is alarming. The suicide rate for First Nations males is 10 times higher than that of non-indigenous males. For women, the rate is 21 times higher. The government has responded by sending more healthcare providers to the area, and according to news reports, the Red Cross has gotten involved. Parliament held an emergency session last spring to address some of the problems, but it’s going to take time to change the statistics.

Suicide Prevention Tips

The World Health Organization knows that there is a suicide epidemic in the world. WHO estimates that one person dies every 40 seconds every year by suicide. That’s about 800,000 people around the world. This figure does not include those who do not succeed, which could be another 25 times more people. Nor does this figure calculate how many people are affected by suicide each year. It’s not just those who die or try to die, it’s those who love this person. In September, WHO wants to get the message across that suicide is preventable. It takes just three simple steps:

  1. Connect
  2. Communicate
  3. Care

One key element that researchers have found in preventing suicide is relationship. Those who are contemplating suicide often feel distant from those they love and they need the connections and communication for full recovery. It’s not easy to talk about suicide and it can be extremely scary. Many people avoid the conversation, because it can be so awkward. There’s also a myth that by talking about it, you actually encourage those who are thinking about it to actually do it. Many high schools don’t teach “Romeo and Juliet” just for that reason, but research hasn’t really show a connection.

When talking to someone about suicide, it’s important to listen and to show compassion without being judgmental, which can be a very difficult assignment as well. Here are some things you can say and questions you can ask:

  • I have been concerned about you lately.
  • How can I support you?
  • I’m here for you. You’re not alone.
  • I may not understand how you feel, but I love you and I want to help.
  • I want to check in with you to see how you’re doing.
  • Have you thought about finding professional help?

If you need some ideas on what not to do:

  • Don’t say things like “look on the bright side” or “suicide will only hurt your family” or “suicide is wrong.”
  • You don’t need to fix their problems or even give advice.
  • Don’t blame yourself.
  • Don’t promise to keep their secret.

Responding to a Crisis

When a person tells you that they’re thinking about suicide, even though you might be a layperson, you should evaluate the immediate danger. You can do this through asking them about their suicide plan. When someone has a specific plan, the means to carry out their plan, and a time, you should probably get help immediately. You don’t have to take care of this situation on your own, no matter what the other person wants. A life is a stake. You should never leave a suicidal person alone when an attempt seems imminent. You should also remove potentially lethal objects from the area as well.

Join International Association for Suicide Prevention on social media for ways to get involved in World Suicide Prevention Day on September 10. Know what’s going on in your community to prevent suicide and to find assistance quickly. There are many resources available across the country. Suicide is preventable when you know how to act.

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Men Need Mental Health Wellness Too
Sad man sitting head in hands on his bed experiencing issues with his mental health.

Depression affects people in very different ways. Some experience sadness and emptiness, while others experience recklessness and anger.

In Darryl “DMC” McDaniels’ new book, “Ten Ways Not to Commit Suicide,” he discusses his history with mental health Issues, Depression, and addiction. He’s not alone in dealing with mental health issues. Jim Carrey has talked about his struggles with depression and addiction. Robin Williams ended his life in 2014, ostensibly due to mental illness. Former NHL player Theo Fluery has made no secret about his history with sexual abuse and mental health struggles. He said, “Reached out for help and my healing began.” Men are not immune from mental health diseases, but many men believe that seeking help is a sign of weakness. 

We all have bouts of sadness and times when we may not feel completely normal, which are all part of life’s normal ebbs and flows. Then, there are other times when you might struggle with mental health problems that can lead to serious consequences. Men, women and children can all experience mental illness, but symptoms can manifest themselves differently. When you can’t work, sleep, eat or have fun because of thoughts that are affecting your day-to-day life, don’t try and diagnose the problems on your own. A mental health professional is the only one who can truly determine if you’re suffering from depression, anxiety or another mental health issue. There’s no shame in getting help for a medical condition.

Symptoms of Depression

Most people associate a prolonged sadness or lack of interest in normal activities with depression, but there are many other symptoms that can manifest if you are depressed. You may be fatigued or have a loss of energy. Some people experience guilt and worthlessness or have problems concentrating. There might be a change in appetite or in your weight. Unfortunately, these symptoms could be from any number of health problems, not just mental health issues. To make things even more complicated, men may exhibit other symptoms that are not typically associated with depression. Some men feel physical pain or become angry. Researchers have even found that men who are depressed exhibit reckless behavior.

Depression is different for each person. Even within one individual, symptoms can vary in intensity over the course of the illness. Recognizing that there is a problem is the first step in treating the disease. There are many treatment options available. What works for one person may not be effective for another. Talk therapy is often very effective in stopping the progression of depression, but many people may need more intensive therapies or medication to find relief from the symptoms. Unlike an infection that goes away after a round of antibiotics, depression isn’t cured so easily. But it is treatable.

Help Is Available

The Canadian Mental Health Association has many resources if you’re dealing with mental illness in your family. Whether it’s you or a loved one, there are places where you can get help. Toronto is gearing up for a mental health conference in September, to discuss mental illnesses and addiction and how it affects all of us. The conference will feature more than 150 mental health experts from across the country who are coming together to create dialogue about changes in mental health. It is open to the public, but registration is required.

Advocates believe that speaking out about mental health issues is the only way to change public perception. Men have been taught to “suck it up” and just keep going on when things get tough, but depression isn’t going to go away by ignoring it. There is a stigma surrounding mental illness in our country. The only way to change that is to speak up and step out of the shadows. Men, especially, have to speak up and seek help.

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Dealing With a Suicide Epidemic
A suicide wrist bandage with "help" written on it

The Attawapiskat First Nation isn’t the only place in crisis.

In literature, failed romance often leads to suicide – as with “Romeo and Juliet” or “The Sorrows of Young Werther” by Goethe. However, the reality is much darker. Suicide risk factors are numerous, and include poverty, abuse, chronic physical or mental illnesses, family violence, and exposure to other suicides. That’s why the community of the Attawapiskat First Nation is so concerned about the number of suicides that have happened in their small reserve.

11 Members of the Community Tried to Take Their Own Life

In a city as big as Vancouver or Toronto, 11 people isn’t that many. The Attawapiskat Nation has about 2,000 members. In one night, 11 of them attempted suicide. The scarier statistic is that since last September, 100 individuals have attempted suicide. This has prompted the community to declare a state of emergency. The House of Commons has held a debate about what to do, and the Prime Minister’s office has pledged to improve conditions for the community.

Resources have been dispatched to help the police and mental health workers. Before the crisis, there were four healthcare providers who did not really have the training in crisis mental health situations. The health ministry dispatched crisis counselors and health workers to improve the conditions. Unfortunately, it took this crisis for the country to send this help. Even worse, the Attawapiskat First Nation isn’t the only place in crisis. Pimicikamak Cree Nation in Manitoba also has a rash of youth suicides causing it, too, to declare a state of emergency.

What Does This Mean for You?

The Attawapiskat First Nation is 600 miles north of Ontario. You may not be in a position to help this community, and to be honest, it’s going to take a lot of work from many individuals to change the conditions that led to the epidemic. What you can do is watch those people who are close to you and make sure that they have help if they need it. Teenagers, especially, read and hear about those who attempt or commit suicide, and it does ripple through the community.

Learn the warning signs of suicide:

  • Clinical depression, loss of interest in life
  • Talk of death
  • Feeling hopeless or in despair
  • Telling someone that it would be better if they weren’t here
  • Putting their affairs in order
  • Saying goodbye to people

You cannot argue or talk someone out of suicide. What you can do is listen and care. Seek help for the individual. Talk of suicide is an emergency. CASP runs a website, suicideprevention.ca, with resources available to find the right help. It is not a crisis center, but it can direct you to one in your area.

Fortunately, suicide is preventable. When someone is in emotional distress, it creates problems with effective problem-solving. Those who consider suicide the answer can’t see any other way out. The problem is catastrophic that there doesn’t seem to be an answer. That’s not because there isn’t an answer, but because it is hidden. Mental healthcare can help direct someone toward better solutions.

According to CASP, talking about suicide is often the best intervention. It’s advised that you should never promise to keep this conversation secret. You may not be able to solve someone’s problem, but listening and caring are more effective techniques. The individual may need outside healthcare treatment.

The answer to these deaths or attempted deaths is not easy. The First Nations have a long road ahead as they change the risk factors which is leading to the suicide epidemic in their communities. You can be informed and understand how to talk to someone who is considering death at their own hands. Then, you can be more effective when listening to them.