Spouse

Your Success Is Directly Related to Your Spouse
A couple both on a laptop searching for ideas to be successful.

If you were to do a search for the phrase “how to be a success” you’d get thousands of suggestions. Hard work, dedication, enjoyment, and even confidence are all part of the equation in achieving success. One author suggests that success is subjective. What you believe to be success may be quite different than your neighbor, but in general, we can probably agree that success is an accomplishment of some goal or purpose in your life. Researchers constantly study the characteristics that go into making people successful. One study from Washington University in St. Louis found that a spouse was one key element in determining how successful an individual was.

Who You Spend Time With Influences You

Jim Rohn, popular motivational speaker, said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Your mom probably told to you to be careful who your friends are. It’s no secret that friends and family members influence your character. The WU study demonstrated that the personality traits of a spouse can actually play a part in work performance. Researchers studied more than 5,000 married people over five years. These individuals were aged 19 to 89. About three-quarters of the couples both worked.

Researchers assessed five measures of personality:

  • Openness
  • Agreeableness
  • Conscientiousness
  • Extraversion
  • Neuroticism

The researchers also tracked the performance of the working spouses to measure occupational success by using salary increases, annual surveys, and self-reported job satisfaction. What they found was that those workers who scored high in occupational success typically had a spouse who was very conscientious. Interestingly, it didn’t matter whether the employee was male or female or whether both spouses worked or not.

Short-Term and Long-Term Relationship Patterns

It’s true that when someone has a bad day, they often bring that stress home, which causes tension between a married couple. Research has proven this, but the WU study tracks long-term influences of a spouse. The researchers in the WU study offer some suggestions about why a conscientious spouse can benefit your career in the long run.

  1. Having a spouse with good habits encourages the other person to emulate those good habits, which leaks over into work.
  2. A working spouse with a reliable partner isn’t trying to manage everything on their own.
  3. When people work together to keep their life running smoothly, it makes it easier to balance work and home life.

You can’t continually come home and be upset from work and expect your spouse’s personality to make things better, but you can use your spouse’s enthusiasm and motivation to push yourself to change. Success, whether on the job or in a relationship, doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a long-term process in which you just have to keep moving forward. There are many elements to success and a conscientious spouse is just one of them.

Choose Your Spouse Wisely

Many studies have shown that who you marry is vital to your health or financial status. Your partner will definitely have an impact on who you are and will become. When choosing a romantic partner, you not only want someone who is agreeable and not narcissistic, but you also want someone who is conscientious. It’s just one of the ingredients you want to look for when choosing a partner.

If you’re already married, what can you do? You can’t change anyone except yourself. All you can do is to be more supportive and lead by example. Based on this study, when one person is more conscientious, the other person tends to step up and become more hard-working. You have to set the example. Will things change overnight? Maybe not. You and your spouse need to have the same goals and objectives.

Show Your Romantic Side With These Unexpected Ideas

envelope with heart insideThe longer you have been with your significant other, the easier it is for things to feel routine. While this is the nature of relationships, it can be important to keep a bit of excitement in the mix. Studies show that couples who take time to show their love and affection to each other are more likely to stick together for the long haul. Since actions speak louder than words, it can be great to figure out what will help to showcase your love for your partner. Consider these ideas to get your romance wheels turning.

Go for the Cliche 

How many times in a movie or television show does a person show up at the door of his or her lover while holding a bouquet of flowers? Now think about how often you have done this for your partner. Aside from special events, most people don’t think to get flowers for their significant others. If you want to surprise and delight the person you love, go with the time-tested cliche of handing over a gorgeous arrangement of flowers. You can buy them from the store or pluck them yourself while on a stroll.

Be Specific With a Surprise

Flowers are a nice surprise because most people know that the gesture is meant to showcase a person’s affection. If you want to take this idea to the next level, you can be a bit more specific in the gift that you bring home. Instead of flowers, show up with dinner from his or her favorite restaurant. Is your partner almost out of her favorite conditioner? Pick it up on your way home from work without being asked, and you can be sure that the action will be received well.

Offer a Massage

Life has a way of being pretty stressful. If you want to make your partner feel loved and appreciated, offer to work through some of the stress with a massage. Whether your significant other works long and difficult hours of physical labor or is someone who sits at a desk all day, a back rub can be an amazing and highly romantic surprise. You can do a quick rub or a more involved massage with oils and other tools. Plus, you may even be able to get a massage out of the deal yourself.

Leave a Note

Remember passing notes to your friends back in school? There was always a sense of excitement that came along with receiving a piece of paper with a message that had been written specifically for you. With this in mind, sit down and write a simple love note to your partner. Leave the note in a place where it will be easily found. Speaking from the heart in a note has a habit of touching the soul in all the right ways.

Take an Unexpected Trip

In many cases, couples can feel stuck in a rut because they have been in a routine for a long while. A fantastic way to break this pattern is by taking your partner on an unexpected trip. You can go somewhere local for the weekend or take a longer excursion to somewhere a bit farther away. By removing yourself from familiar surroundings and going away to a location new and exciting, you can rekindle the love you have for each other without the typical distractions of home.

Surprising your significant other every now and again is key when it comes to cultivating a relationship that is built upon growth and evolution. Use the ideas here as inspiration, and start to think about what your partner would enjoy most. Put some thought into your idea, and learn how a few small gestures can make a world of difference in a relationship.

Wedding Registry Basics: A Quick Guide

More and more couples put together a wedding registry for their big day.

A wedding registry is a great way for a newlywed couple to save money by having loved ones purchase various household needs for them.

Among the customary wedding traditions, many couples opt to open a gift wedding registry. When wisely implemented, it can be a wonderful tool that makes gift selection easier for your guests. However, you should keep a few things in mind as you proceed. Following some simple practices and observing etiquette guidelines can help ensure that your registry is a convenient and well-executed part of your nuptials instead of a massive headache for you and your guests.

The Origins of the Gift Registry 

Although the wedding gift registry is now a customary tradition among Canadian couples, the practice has surprisingly recent origins. Racked contributor Erika Adams explains that guests were not expected to bring presents to matrimonial celebrations prior to the twentieth century. In time past, European and American brides collected goods to take to their future homes inside their wedding chests, which were also sometimes called “hope chests.” Once department stores began to offer bridal registries, many women were encouraged to include household goods such as crystal, silverware, and china.

Do You Need a Wedding Registry?

Western society has changed much over the last century, and it’s now common for couples to marry later in life or to wed multiple times. As a result, many adults have homes of their own and already own a substantial collection of household goods. If this description sounds like you and your sweetie, take heart. You may decide you don’t need to open a gift registry, as advice columnist Liz Moorehead of A Practical Wedding points out. She suggests relying on your family members to spread the word. Bride Online also suggests setting aside a preferred charity for guests’ donations in lieu of a registry.

Some Prudent Suggestions

Hana Abaza of Huffington Post Canada encourages newlyweds-to-be to think beyond the typical “big box” retail stores and investigate online wedding registries. Instead of feeling pressured to add items that you don’t really need, a virtual gift listing may permit more flexibility as well as the chance to include products you and your future spouse will actually use.

Abaza also provides some sage advice to help couples observe good etiquette practices and avoid offending family and friends. She suggests the inclusion of a wide variety of entries in the lower, mid-range, and upper price points. Furthermore, she stresses the importance of keeping your registry updated. Many retailers will help you track yours online. You may even be able to see what guests have purchased (but not necessarily who made the purchases). If you can, try to add more items to give your guests additional options from which to choose.

Have Fun With Your Registry

If you decide to skip a registry, that’s a perfectly valid choice. For newlyweds-to-be who choose to register, it’s wise to remember some useful suggestions during planning. Be sure to include entries at many different price points, and don’t add any products you don’t really want. Be sure to keep yours up to date. Remember that a donation to a designated charity organization is a great alternative. Whatever you decide, the goal is to tailor your wedding to reflect your wishes and those of and your partner.