speech

Seven Tips for Coming Up With a Wedding Speech

Weddings and receptions can take inspiration from various sources, including cultural traditions, literary influences, and popular media. One custom that transcends boundaries is the wedding speech. Usually offered at receptions, a close friend or family member of the newlyweds is expected to say a few words. This is especially true for parents, best men, maids of honor, and other special people. Whether you’re a naturally gifted speaker or someone who struggles with speeches, consider these tips: 

1. Make a Plan

There are very few people who can give a great speech off the top of their heads. A professional emcee may be able to do so, but unless that’s your job, you’re probably a loved one to the newly married couple. Your speech is an important part of the day’s events, and you want your loved ones to fondly recollect what you have to say. Plan your speech well in advance. This gives you time to refine what you want to say and solicit feedback, if necessary.

2. Start With Gratitude

You’ve probably seen an award show where the winner or guest of honor starts by thanking the people that helped them. You’re not accepting an award, but gratitude for the people that made the day a reality is a great place to start. This should include the newlyweds (especially the person that asked you to speak), parents, and other “very important people” as appropriate. Showing appreciation also gives you a place to start and get over your nerves. 

3. Focus on the Couple In Your Speech

Your connection to one or both of the newlyweds is important, as it explains why you’ve got something to say. Your relationship can provide good fodder for a speech, but remember, the day is all about the newlyweds. You and the bride or groom may go way back, but the focus should be on the new union. If you don’t know the other person very well, you’ve got time to get to know more about them. 

4. Mind the Time

There’s a good chance you won’t be the only person making a speech, so it’s important to mind the time. The ideal length for your speech should be around two to three minutes. Longer speeches may bore listeners and, worse, infringe upon other activities at the wedding or reception. Focus on the main point of what you intend to say and keep it short and sweet. 

5. Joke Responsibly In Your Speech

Humor is in the ear of the listener. While most people can appreciate a funny speech, be mindful of jokes that may not land well with the couple or other guests. What you and a sibling or close friend consider hilarious may not be true with someone from a different generation or background. Good-natured ribbing can easily become teasing or bullying if you’re not careful. 

6. Put It in Writing

It’s generally better to write your speech instead of attempting to memorize it. In the heat of the moment, your nerves may cause you to forget what you were going to say. Sometimes reading a speech can look awkward, but it’s better than rambling, especially if you’re drawing a blank. At the very least, write down your main points.

7. Practice Your Speech

Even the best speakers rehearse their speeches. The more you practice giving your speech, the more prepared and comfortable you’ll be. Rehearse your speech as if you’re giving it on the big day. Record yourself, so you can review areas for improvement, including the way you stand and over-reliance on filler words such as “um” and “like.”

Wedding speeches are a time-honored tradition of nuptials, including Canadian ones. If you’ve been asked to say a few words, consider these tips for crafting and delivering something special for your favorite newlyweds. You may not be able to buy the most expensive gift on the registry, but you can deliver a nice speech from the heart. 

Speaking With Confidence: Tips for Wedding Readings and Toasts

While being asked to speak at a wedding can make many people nervous, a little preparation can give you a boost of confidence in your speaking role.

While being asked to speak at a wedding can make many people nervous, a little preparation can give you a boost of confidence in your speaking role.

Your friends are getting married, and they’ve asked you to play an important part in their special day. Perhaps you’re one of the honor attendants or you’re giving a reading during the ceremony. The prospect of getting up and speaking in front of a bunch of people, even if they are friends and family, can make you feel anxious or even panicky. Fortunately, you can conquer your fears and give a great speech, reading, or toast by following some helpful advice.

Consider Your Content’s Structure

Whether you’re writing a toast or giving a ceremony reading, the structure of your content plays an important role in its delivery. The Knot’s Maggie Seaver suggests that toasts and speeches should be kept short and simple. Citing public speaking expert Jennifer Hester, Seaver describes a general format that you can follow: “Tell them what you’re going to tell them, tell them, and then tell them what you’ve told them.” This formula keeps it simple and creates a clear beginning, middle, and ending in your speech.

Next comes the hard part: what to say. Huffington Post’s Kelsey Borresen shares useful recommendations from Simon Bucknall, author of “The Best Man Speaker: The Definitive Guide to the Best Man Speech.” Focus on positive personal attributes. Perhaps you admire your friend’s sense of humor, selfless generosity, or optimism during tough times. If you’re stuck for ideas, Bucknall suggests interviewing friends and family members. Don’t forget to take notes: You’ll need them later when you’re writing your speech. Also, stay away from touchy subjects or potentially offensive humor. The last thing you want to do is embarrass yourself or the couple when speaking publicly.

If you’re giving a ceremony reading, you’ll use a somewhat different approach. Wedding Wire’‘s Lindsay Pietroluongo stresses the importance of studying the reading text. Understanding its meaning is crucial: You’ll not only know what you’re saying, but you can also appropriately stress key words, phrases, or lines for emphasis.

Practicing Speaking Makes Perfect

Now that you have your content well in hand, practicing speaking is key to polishing your delivery. Brides’ Elizabeth Mitchell recommends frequent rehearsals to help yourself know your content, become familiar with the words, and fine-tune details such as speed and annunciation. The goal is not to eliminate your nervousness entirely, but to harness it and make it work for you. Non-verbal elements such as gestures and tone of voice make up a large part of how we communicate, so letting your emotions naturally come out makes your words come alive and your delivery more genuine.

As you rehearse your speech or reading, other tools and tips can aid in your preparation. Pietroluongo suggests practicing speaking in front of a mirror. Besides helping you remember to look up at your audience, you can also pay attention to your body language, facial expressions, and movement. Both Seaver and Mitchell recommend recording yourself and listening to the playback for filler words such as “um” and “uh,” excessive throat clearing, and other trouble spots. Also, consider rehearsing in front of a friend or family member you trust to provide honest feedback.

Don’t Forget Your Script

As confident as you may feel right before the big day, it’s still a good idea to bring written notes or a copy of the reading with you. This isn’t a poetry slam: No one’s expecting you to memorize. By making an outline or jotting down notes or photocopying your reading, you’ll give yourself some visual prompts and avoid either rambling or drawing a complete blank.

No matter whether you’ve spoken in front of a crowd once or a hundred times, it’s natural to feel nervous. Giving a ceremony reading, speech, or toast is an honor, and you want to do the best job possible. Remember to practice, mind your content, and above all, relax! You’ve got this. With preparation and a little confidence, you’ll do fine.