Alzheimer’s can be a very stressful on the relationship between a child and their parents. Dealing with a parent suffering from Alzheimer’s can be extremely stressful.
September is World Alzheimer’s Month. With more than 46 million people in the world living with a form of dementia, it’s time to speak out against this debilitating condition that is often ignored or hidden away. Although the elderly are revered and honored in many cultures, there’s still a stigma about having dementia. It’s not only the individual who is diagnosed with dementia who suffers, but family members who must care for this person are often under more strain and stress from dealing with a parent who is sick. If you’re taking care of a parent who has Alzheimer’s disease, dementia or another chronic condition, here are some tips to help you deal with the complex issues that arise.
Dealing With Parents Who Have Alzheimer’s
Give your parents as much autonomy as you can. Offer options, not orders, when possible. This shows respect for their condition and affirms their value to you.
Expect anger and grief. Your parent is not only dealing with a loss of his or her own body and mind, but of authority. The relationship he or she has always had with you is changing. Anticipate anger and respond in ways that show you understand what he or she has lost.
Separate the emotional dysfunction from the disease. Dealing with a parent who has dementia is hard enough when he or she forgets your name. When your mom or dad calls you by your sibling’s name, don’t assume anything from this. It’s not about who is loved more.
Appreciate your helpers. Find other caregivers who can help you take care of your mom and dad. If you can’t bring in healthcare providers, find members of the community who can offer respite from cleaning or shopping to give you a break.
Ask siblings for help, but remember that everyone has their own baggage they’re dealing with. Ideally, it would be great if the family came together when mom and dad were sick. Realistically, you have no idea what each person is dealing with emotionally when it comes to parental relationships. Just because you’ve worked through your issues, maybe siblings haven’t.
Expect crazy from the family. Impending grief makes people do crazy things. If there’s any kind of inheritance, it compounds the situation. Anticipate the frenzy that can happen when a parent is dying. Know where you draw the line about money. Protect yourself as much as you can.
Take care of yourself. Caring for an elderly parent is a time-consuming job, and it’s probably not your only responsibility. Take time for yourself and your family. Have some fun when you can. Enjoy the good days.
Don’t dwell on the little things. When dad forgets the little things, don’t sweat it. Just go with it. Listen to his stories from the old days. A patient with Alzheimer’s might remember things from 50 years ago while forgetting that he took his medicine just a few minutes ago.
Ask for your parents’ advice when you can. Get them to talk about their past when they are able. Take advantage of the moments and appreciate the good times.
Take things slow. You’re running a marathon, not a race. Get help from the aging council in your community to help you find the right process that works.
You’re not alone in taking care of aging parents. There may not be a cure for the condition your parent faces, but there is a lot of support. Reach out to others and find assistance to help you manage your new role as a caretaker. Talk about the problems of dementia and aging in your community to let others know that they aren’t alone in their struggles. When people come together, it makes a difference.
It is up to family members and relatives to report cases of elder abuse.
In 2011, CBCNews estimated that by 2031, almost one-quarter of the population in Canada would be aged 65 or older. Today, about seven percent of older adults have reported elder abuse, either emotional or financial, by their caregivers. Even worse, the rate of police-reported violence is increasing. It’s not just friends or family who take advantage of these vulnerable individuals; professional caregivers have been involved in elder abuse, too.
June 15, 2016, marked the 10th anniversary of the World Elder Abuse Awareness Day. This day was sponsored by the United Nations, World Health Organization and International Network for the Prevention of Elder Abuse. It’s not just a problem in our country, but internationally. However, there are some things that you can do to protect your family and friends, and even yourself, from being a victim.
Abuse takes many forms. Here are some of the red flags that indicate a senior might be experiencing abuse:
Lack of hygiene, food, drink or clothing
Not having medical aids such as glasses or a walker
Untreated injuries
Inadequate facilities in the home
A vulnerable adult signs a new will or other legal document
Unexplained fractures, bruises, sores or welts
An unexplained sexually transmitted disease
Elder adult is isolated
Elderly adult changes behavior suddenly
Sometimes, with elderly adults, it’s difficult to know if they’re experiencing abuse or are simply experiencing more problems of aging. Abuse victims of all ages already find it hard to tell people that they are in a bad situation. This is why it’s important to go see your family members and friends who are older. Talk to them on a regular basis and listen to them.
7 Things You Can Do to Prevent Elder Abuse
Know the signs of elder abuse and neglect.
Visit your elderly loved ones and ask them how they are doing.
Give caregivers a respite to keep them from being stressed.
Contact the seniors’ helpline in your province or territory if you see an at-risk elder who needs help that is beyond your authority.
Do your part to bring awareness to the problem. Write letters to the editor of your newspaper or TV station to ask for coverage.
Talk to your family about elder abuse.
Fund-raise for elder services in your community.
Elder abuse isn’t limited to individuals who live in a nursing home. It happens everywhere. People who live in their own home can be victims, as can those who are in the hospital or in assisted living. It’s thought that abuse of elders is more often perpetuated by the victim’s own family members. Some of the research suggests that elder abuse is not reported or not identified, which means it never comes to the attention of the authorities.
Impact of Elder Abuse
When a person is a victim of elder abuse, it often compounds health problems they may already have. Abuse also increases the decline in mental health, which is often a significant problem with older adults who are dealing with dementia. In the United States, the cost of financial abuse is estimated at more than $2.6 billion dollars each year. Physical and emotional abuse increase healthcare costs.
When a person experiences elder abuse, he or she becomes more dependent on other caregivers. This puts more stress on those caregivers, who will also experience a decline in physical and mental health as they take on the burden of caring for another person. Elder abuse doesn’t just affect one or two people in the family; it affects society. Everyone should be aware of elder abuse and protect their loved ones who are vulnerable. One of the most beneficial intervention and prevention methods against elder abuse is social support from the community. We can’t rely on the police or social services to take care of our elders.
Recent incarceration statistics have shown a dramatic increase in Amerinds and Black Canadians.
In 2014, The New Observer reported concerns about the rising population rates of Amerinds and blacks in Canadian federal prisons. According to incarceration statistics, both races were highly over-represented in the prison system when you look at the overall population in the country. Two-and-a-half years later, The Torontoist reports, “There are 70 per cent [sic] more Black Canadians in federal prison than there were 10 years ago…” In addition, Howard Sapers, Correctional Investigator, released his annual report of the status of the prisons. He found that from 2005 to 2015 the overall population in the correction system in Canada grew by 10 percent. The Aboriginal inmate population grew by more than 50 percent. This phenomenon was evident in both male and female populations.
Who Is Howard Sapers?
Why should you listen to Sapers? He was appointed to his position as Correctional Investigator of Canada in 2004. This is his 11th annual report. He is not tied to any political climate, as he has served under two Prime Ministers and under five different Ministers of Public Safety. During his tenure in his position, his team has responded to over 200,000 complaints and calls. Sapers has provided testimony to many different Parliamentary Committees and responded to criminal justice reforms handed down by the government. He believes in human dignity and decency even for those who are deprived of their liberty. Sapers is an advocate for a fair and rational criminal justice system.
In his message of his annual report, he breaks down the incarceration statistics even further, offering some interesting statistics:
Twenty-five percent of the prison population is now 50 or older.
Only about 40 percent of inmates have a formal education of grade eight or higher.
Sixty percent of inmates have not graduated high school.
Sixty percent of female inmates require prescription medications to manage their mental health needs.
Seventy percent of female inmates report histories of sexual abuse.
Eighty-six percent of women in the prison system report physical abuse at some point in their lives.
Eighty percent of the male inmates have experienced addiction and substance abuse.
Is Racism the Problem?
The Torontoist reports that the high rate of blacks in prison is due to racism and over-policing. In Canada, blacks make up about three percent of the general population but 10 percent of the prison population. Indigenous Canadians make up 24.4 percent of the federal prison population but only 4.3 percent of the general population. This is not a problem just in Canada. In the United States, the numbers aren’t quite as pronounced, but African-Americans make up 13 percent of the general population and account for 37 percent of the prison population.
One local lawyer is calling for an initiative similar to the 1991 Aboriginal Justice Strategy that was created to address the growing population of Indigenous Canadians in the prisons. It offered restorative justice and diversion programs and alternative sentencing. In 2011, a report was issued that outlined the success of the AJS. It had this to say:
“Evidence that the long-term outcome of the AJS of ‘reduced crime and incarceration rates in communities with funded programs’ is being achieved is evident through the results of the recidivism study, which found a significant difference between rates of re-offending of AJS-funded program participants and a comparison group.”
Unfortunately, these same outcomes are not being seen in the prisons.
Are There Solutions?
Some might say that criminals get what they deserve. They do have to pay for their crime, but when you look at some of Sapers’ findings, one has to wonder if the solution starts with ensuring people have an education and that their mental health needs are taken care of. Women who are abused need help to improve their self-confidence and outcomes. Things won’t change overnight, but these statistics should concern everyone.
Depression affects people in very different ways. Some experience sadness and emptiness, while others experience recklessness and anger.
In Darryl “DMC” McDaniels’ new book, “Ten Ways Not to Commit Suicide,” he discusses his history with mental health Issues, Depression, and addiction. He’s not alone in dealing with mental health issues. Jim Carrey has talked about his struggles with depression and addiction. Robin Williams ended his life in 2014, ostensibly due to mental illness. Former NHL player Theo Fluery has made no secret about his history with sexual abuse and mental health struggles. He said, “Reached out for help and my healing began.” Men are not immune from mental health diseases, but many men believe that seeking help is a sign of weakness.
We all have bouts of sadness and times when we may not feel completely normal, which are all part of life’s normal ebbs and flows. Then, there are other times when you might struggle with mental health problems that can lead to serious consequences. Men, women and children can all experience mental illness, but symptoms can manifest themselves differently. When you can’t work, sleep, eat or have fun because of thoughts that are affecting your day-to-day life, don’t try and diagnose the problems on your own. A mental health professional is the only one who can truly determine if you’re suffering from depression, anxiety or another mental health issue. There’s no shame in getting help for a medical condition.
Symptoms of Depression
Most people associate a prolonged sadness or lack of interest in normal activities with depression, but there are many other symptoms that can manifest if you are depressed. You may be fatigued or have a loss of energy. Some people experience guilt and worthlessness or have problems concentrating. There might be a change in appetite or in your weight. Unfortunately, these symptoms could be from any number of health problems, not just mental health issues. To make things even more complicated, men may exhibit other symptoms that are not typically associated with depression. Some men feel physical pain or become angry. Researchers have even found that men who are depressed exhibit reckless behavior.
Depression is different for each person. Even within one individual, symptoms can vary in intensity over the course of the illness. Recognizing that there is a problem is the first step in treating the disease. There are many treatment options available. What works for one person may not be effective for another. Talk therapy is often very effective in stopping the progression of depression, but many people may need more intensive therapies or medication to find relief from the symptoms. Unlike an infection that goes away after a round of antibiotics, depression isn’t cured so easily. But it is treatable.
Help Is Available
The Canadian Mental Health Association has many resources if you’re dealing with mental illness in your family. Whether it’s you or a loved one, there are places where you can get help. Toronto is gearing up for a mental health conference in September, to discuss mental illnesses and addiction and how it affects all of us. The conference will feature more than 150 mental health experts from across the country who are coming together to create dialogue about changes in mental health. It is open to the public, but registration is required.
Advocates believe that speaking out about mental health issues is the only way to change public perception. Men have been taught to “suck it up” and just keep going on when things get tough, but depression isn’t going to go away by ignoring it. There is a stigma surrounding mental illness in our country. The only way to change that is to speak up and step out of the shadows. Men, especially, have to speak up and seek help.
Alzheimer’s can be a very stressful on the relationship between a child and their parents. Dealing with a parent suffering from Alzheimer’s can be extremely stressful.
September is World Alzheimer’s Month. With more than 46 million people in the world living with a form of dementia, it’s time to speak out against this debilitating condition that is often ignored or hidden away. Although the elderly are revered and honored in many cultures, there’s still a stigma about having dementia. It’s not only the individual who is diagnosed with dementia who suffers, but family members who must care for this person are often under more strain and stress from dealing with a parent who is sick. If you’re taking care of a parent who has Alzheimer’s disease, dementia or another chronic condition, here are some tips to help you deal with the complex issues that arise.
Dealing With Parents Who Have Alzheimer’s
Give your parents as much autonomy as you can. Offer options, not orders, when possible. This shows respect for their condition and affirms their value to you.
Expect anger and grief. Your parent is not only dealing with a loss of his or her own body and mind, but of authority. The relationship he or she has always had with you is changing. Anticipate anger and respond in ways that show you understand what he or she has lost.
Separate the emotional dysfunction from the disease. Dealing with a parent who has dementia is hard enough when he or she forgets your name. When your mom or dad calls you by your sibling’s name, don’t assume anything from this. It’s not about who is loved more.
Appreciate your helpers. Find other caregivers who can help you take care of your mom and dad. If you can’t bring in healthcare providers, find members of the community who can offer respite from cleaning or shopping to give you a break.
Ask siblings for help, but remember that everyone has their own baggage they’re dealing with. Ideally, it would be great if the family came together when mom and dad were sick. Realistically, you have no idea what each person is dealing with emotionally when it comes to parental relationships. Just because you’ve worked through your issues, maybe siblings haven’t.
Expect crazy from the family. Impending grief makes people do crazy things. If there’s any kind of inheritance, it compounds the situation. Anticipate the frenzy that can happen when a parent is dying. Know where you draw the line about money. Protect yourself as much as you can.
Take care of yourself. Caring for an elderly parent is a time-consuming job, and it’s probably not your only responsibility. Take time for yourself and your family. Have some fun when you can. Enjoy the good days.
Don’t dwell on the little things. When dad forgets the little things, don’t sweat it. Just go with it. Listen to his stories from the old days. A patient with Alzheimer’s might remember things from 50 years ago while forgetting that he took his medicine just a few minutes ago.
Ask for your parents’ advice when you can. Get them to talk about their past when they are able. Take advantage of the moments and appreciate the good times.
Take things slow. You’re running a marathon, not a race. Get help from the aging council in your community to help you find the right process that works.
You’re not alone in taking care of aging parents. There may not be a cure for the condition your parent faces, but there is a lot of support. Reach out to others and find assistance to help you manage your new role as a caretaker. Talk about the problems of dementia and aging in your community to let others know that they aren’t alone in their struggles. When people come together, it makes a difference.
It is up to family members and relatives to report cases of elder abuse.
In 2011, CBCNews estimated that by 2031, almost one-quarter of the population in Canada would be aged 65 or older. Today, about seven percent of older adults have reported elder abuse, either emotional or financial, by their caregivers. Even worse, the rate of police-reported violence is increasing. It’s not just friends or family who take advantage of these vulnerable individuals; professional caregivers have been involved in elder abuse, too.
June 15, 2016, marked the 10th anniversary of the World Elder Abuse Awareness Day. This day was sponsored by the United Nations, World Health Organization and International Network for the Prevention of Elder Abuse. It’s not just a problem in our country, but internationally. However, there are some things that you can do to protect your family and friends, and even yourself, from being a victim.
Abuse takes many forms. Here are some of the red flags that indicate a senior might be experiencing abuse:
Lack of hygiene, food, drink or clothing
Not having medical aids such as glasses or a walker
Untreated injuries
Inadequate facilities in the home
A vulnerable adult signs a new will or other legal document
Unexplained fractures, bruises, sores or welts
An unexplained sexually transmitted disease
Elder adult is isolated
Elderly adult changes behavior suddenly
Sometimes, with elderly adults, it’s difficult to know if they’re experiencing abuse or are simply experiencing more problems of aging. Abuse victims of all ages already find it hard to tell people that they are in a bad situation. This is why it’s important to go see your family members and friends who are older. Talk to them on a regular basis and listen to them.
7 Things You Can Do to Prevent Elder Abuse
Know the signs of elder abuse and neglect.
Visit your elderly loved ones and ask them how they are doing.
Give caregivers a respite to keep them from being stressed.
Contact the seniors’ helpline in your province or territory if you see an at-risk elder who needs help that is beyond your authority.
Do your part to bring awareness to the problem. Write letters to the editor of your newspaper or TV station to ask for coverage.
Talk to your family about elder abuse.
Fund-raise for elder services in your community.
Elder abuse isn’t limited to individuals who live in a nursing home. It happens everywhere. People who live in their own home can be victims, as can those who are in the hospital or in assisted living. It’s thought that abuse of elders is more often perpetuated by the victim’s own family members. Some of the research suggests that elder abuse is not reported or not identified, which means it never comes to the attention of the authorities.
Impact of Elder Abuse
When a person is a victim of elder abuse, it often compounds health problems they may already have. Abuse also increases the decline in mental health, which is often a significant problem with older adults who are dealing with dementia. In the United States, the cost of financial abuse is estimated at more than $2.6 billion dollars each year. Physical and emotional abuse increase healthcare costs.
When a person experiences elder abuse, he or she becomes more dependent on other caregivers. This puts more stress on those caregivers, who will also experience a decline in physical and mental health as they take on the burden of caring for another person. Elder abuse doesn’t just affect one or two people in the family; it affects society. Everyone should be aware of elder abuse and protect their loved ones who are vulnerable. One of the most beneficial intervention and prevention methods against elder abuse is social support from the community. We can’t rely on the police or social services to take care of our elders.
Recent incarceration statistics have shown a dramatic increase in Amerinds and Black Canadians.
In 2014, The New Observer reported concerns about the rising population rates of Amerinds and blacks in Canadian federal prisons. According to incarceration statistics, both races were highly over-represented in the prison system when you look at the overall population in the country. Two-and-a-half years later, The Torontoist reports, “There are 70 per cent [sic] more Black Canadians in federal prison than there were 10 years ago…” In addition, Howard Sapers, Correctional Investigator, released his annual report of the status of the prisons. He found that from 2005 to 2015 the overall population in the correction system in Canada grew by 10 percent. The Aboriginal inmate population grew by more than 50 percent. This phenomenon was evident in both male and female populations.
Who Is Howard Sapers?
Why should you listen to Sapers? He was appointed to his position as Correctional Investigator of Canada in 2004. This is his 11th annual report. He is not tied to any political climate, as he has served under two Prime Ministers and under five different Ministers of Public Safety. During his tenure in his position, his team has responded to over 200,000 complaints and calls. Sapers has provided testimony to many different Parliamentary Committees and responded to criminal justice reforms handed down by the government. He believes in human dignity and decency even for those who are deprived of their liberty. Sapers is an advocate for a fair and rational criminal justice system.
In his message of his annual report, he breaks down the incarceration statistics even further, offering some interesting statistics:
Twenty-five percent of the prison population is now 50 or older.
Only about 40 percent of inmates have a formal education of grade eight or higher.
Sixty percent of inmates have not graduated high school.
Sixty percent of female inmates require prescription medications to manage their mental health needs.
Seventy percent of female inmates report histories of sexual abuse.
Eighty-six percent of women in the prison system report physical abuse at some point in their lives.
Eighty percent of the male inmates have experienced addiction and substance abuse.
Is Racism the Problem?
The Torontoist reports that the high rate of blacks in prison is due to racism and over-policing. In Canada, blacks make up about three percent of the general population but 10 percent of the prison population. Indigenous Canadians make up 24.4 percent of the federal prison population but only 4.3 percent of the general population. This is not a problem just in Canada. In the United States, the numbers aren’t quite as pronounced, but African-Americans make up 13 percent of the general population and account for 37 percent of the prison population.
One local lawyer is calling for an initiative similar to the 1991 Aboriginal Justice Strategy that was created to address the growing population of Indigenous Canadians in the prisons. It offered restorative justice and diversion programs and alternative sentencing. In 2011, a report was issued that outlined the success of the AJS. It had this to say:
“Evidence that the long-term outcome of the AJS of ‘reduced crime and incarceration rates in communities with funded programs’ is being achieved is evident through the results of the recidivism study, which found a significant difference between rates of re-offending of AJS-funded program participants and a comparison group.”
Unfortunately, these same outcomes are not being seen in the prisons.
Are There Solutions?
Some might say that criminals get what they deserve. They do have to pay for their crime, but when you look at some of Sapers’ findings, one has to wonder if the solution starts with ensuring people have an education and that their mental health needs are taken care of. Women who are abused need help to improve their self-confidence and outcomes. Things won’t change overnight, but these statistics should concern everyone.
Depression affects people in very different ways. Some experience sadness and emptiness, while others experience recklessness and anger.
In Darryl “DMC” McDaniels’ new book, “Ten Ways Not to Commit Suicide,” he discusses his history with mental health Issues, Depression, and addiction. He’s not alone in dealing with mental health issues. Jim Carrey has talked about his struggles with depression and addiction. Robin Williams ended his life in 2014, ostensibly due to mental illness. Former NHL player Theo Fluery has made no secret about his history with sexual abuse and mental health struggles. He said, “Reached out for help and my healing began.” Men are not immune from mental health diseases, but many men believe that seeking help is a sign of weakness.
We all have bouts of sadness and times when we may not feel completely normal, which are all part of life’s normal ebbs and flows. Then, there are other times when you might struggle with mental health problems that can lead to serious consequences. Men, women and children can all experience mental illness, but symptoms can manifest themselves differently. When you can’t work, sleep, eat or have fun because of thoughts that are affecting your day-to-day life, don’t try and diagnose the problems on your own. A mental health professional is the only one who can truly determine if you’re suffering from depression, anxiety or another mental health issue. There’s no shame in getting help for a medical condition.
Symptoms of Depression
Most people associate a prolonged sadness or lack of interest in normal activities with depression, but there are many other symptoms that can manifest if you are depressed. You may be fatigued or have a loss of energy. Some people experience guilt and worthlessness or have problems concentrating. There might be a change in appetite or in your weight. Unfortunately, these symptoms could be from any number of health problems, not just mental health issues. To make things even more complicated, men may exhibit other symptoms that are not typically associated with depression. Some men feel physical pain or become angry. Researchers have even found that men who are depressed exhibit reckless behavior.
Depression is different for each person. Even within one individual, symptoms can vary in intensity over the course of the illness. Recognizing that there is a problem is the first step in treating the disease. There are many treatment options available. What works for one person may not be effective for another. Talk therapy is often very effective in stopping the progression of depression, but many people may need more intensive therapies or medication to find relief from the symptoms. Unlike an infection that goes away after a round of antibiotics, depression isn’t cured so easily. But it is treatable.
Help Is Available
The Canadian Mental Health Association has many resources if you’re dealing with mental illness in your family. Whether it’s you or a loved one, there are places where you can get help. Toronto is gearing up for a mental health conference in September, to discuss mental illnesses and addiction and how it affects all of us. The conference will feature more than 150 mental health experts from across the country who are coming together to create dialogue about changes in mental health. It is open to the public, but registration is required.
Advocates believe that speaking out about mental health issues is the only way to change public perception. Men have been taught to “suck it up” and just keep going on when things get tough, but depression isn’t going to go away by ignoring it. There is a stigma surrounding mental illness in our country. The only way to change that is to speak up and step out of the shadows. Men, especially, have to speak up and seek help.
