When you’re getting ready to share the rest of your life with a new spouse, you’re probably focused on plans associated with the wedding and surrounding events, such as a reception or rehearsal dinner. You’re probably also looking forward to the details associated with starting a new life together, such as moving in together, buying a home or opening joint accounts. With all the preparation that goes into a new marriage, it’s important to think about life with a new spouse after the honeymoon is over. Premarital counseling is a worthwhile investment, offering these potential benefits to you, your spouse-to-be and your union.
Communicating More Effectively
Communication is a critical component of any successful relationship, especially a marriage. A lack of communication or poor dialoguing can lead to or reveal cracks in any union. You and your partner may think that you have productive conversations, but an independent observation from a therapist or counselor can alert both of you to potential issues. For example, you may be great at articulating your point of view, but not so much when it comes to hearing what your spouse is really saying. Premarital therapy can help both of you work on your skills, boosting not only the effectiveness of your conversations but conflict resolution as well.
Bridging Differences With Counseling
Despite what you might see or hear in media and entertainment, there’s no one set rule when it comes to opposites attracting. Even if you and your partner have several commonalities in background and values, the two of you will also have differences in perspective, approaches and other opinions that can be the source of marital issues. For instance, the two of you may actually have very different ideas of what life together may look like. Your idea of quality time might be enjoying a movie at home, while your spouse may prefer a date night at a nice restaurant. Small differences can develop into irreconcilable ones without the objective microscope of premarital counseling.
Counseling Together and Building Together
Whether your wedding vows explicitly mention “forsaking all others” or not, the reality is that the two of you are definitely a team. While your opposition isn’t necessarily other people, recognize that your marriage will face challenges, big and small. Remember that you committed to each other and that as a team, you can overcome anything. Pre-marriage counseling for couples can be effective at helping the two of you meet small, early challenges, making you stronger for more difficult trials later in life. No successful athletic team can win without teamwork, and this is also true for married couples.
Understanding Needs
As a couple, you each have individual needs for communication, validation and how you give and receive love. It’s important that each of you understands the other’s needs when it comes to these aspects of life together. When you’re frustrated about something, your partner may think that you need solutions, when in reality, you just need someone to listen. When your companion is upset, you may not hear directly, but you may recognize behavioral patterns. Premarital therapy gives you and your spouse-to-be the opportunity to talk openly and freely about your needs, how you communicate and how you respond to conflicts and expressions of love. Sometimes there are things that you don’t see or notice, and an objective outsider can bring this to your attention in a way that is free of judgment.
There’s a lot to look forward to when marrying the love of your life. It’s a wonderful feeling to anticipate the good times during the wedding ceremony and the honeymoon; however, there will also be external and internal challenges that you will face as a couple. Premarital counseling is a great opportunity to discuss hopes, fears and issues in an environment that is open and objective.
Get into the habit of making your significant other feel special whenever you have the opportunity by giving small gifts, gestures, and tokens of love.
It is no secret that marriage takes a lot of work. What many people don’t seem to realize is how the seeds need to be planted early in the relationship in order for love to continuously bloom. Flowery metaphors aside, you want to get into the habit of making your significant other feel special whenever you have the opportunity. There are little tokens of affection, gestures, and gifts of love you can work into your interactions with your partner that are sure to keep the fire burning between you throughout your engagement and long into your marriage.
Whether you are currently planning for your wedding or you haven’t begun to discuss the engagement yet, it can be useful to explore different ways to brighten your significant other’s day. Check out these suggestions and see which ideas might help you in your quest.
Daily Routine
Living with your partner before marriage is a great way to put your relationship to the test. Whether you have had dozens of roommates in the past or your significant other is the first person you’ve cohabitated with, the experience can push you to the edge. Of course, once the growing pains have worn off, you will be able to figure out how to work in synchronicity. If you want to make your partner feel special, be sure to take note of his or her daily routine.
Is coffee the first thing your significant other needs upon waking? Help start the day off right by getting up a little bit earlier and making a gift of fresh coffee. Does your partner hate doing laundry? Offer to do it after a long day and watch a scowl turn into a smile. These gestures are small, but they can go a long way to keep a relationship alive. Domestic life tends to be boring and repetitive, so look at ways you can infuse how much you love your partner into these tasks.
Literal Gifts
Relationships are often built around gifts. Culturally speaking, the act of giving a partner a gift has been practiced for countless centuries. These days, some people tend to ask for more than others when it comes to receiving presents. Showering your partner with all sorts of lavish gifts is probably not the best idea, nor is it a financially sensible move for most people to make. Still, little things here and there can go a long way to show you were thinking about your partner.
These gifts can be something like a specific item your significant other has been eyeing or some small surprise you grab at the store on your way home from work. A candy bar might not cost much, but you can definitely turn someone’s day around by showing up with one at the right moment. Presents are common early in a relationship and during birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries. Surprise your partner by giving him a present when he least expects it, and he’s likely to feel loved.
Whisper Words of Wisdom
Finally, words can go a long way. There are going to come times in your relationship when you and your partner are not going to see a lot of each other. Demanding work schedules and obligations can make it so you only get a few hours together a week. When this happens, you want to keep your communication open. Send a text every now and then to check in or share something sweet or funny. Try to avoid only contacting your partner when you need something, and it will do wonders to show how much you care.
Practicing little rituals and exchanging various kinds of gifts with your significant other can help both of you to feel loved and supported throughout your relationship. When you get into these habits early enough, it will be much easier for you to approach married life with confidence.
On April 13, Norma and Ross Irwin of Peterborough, Ontario celebrated their 74th wedding anniversary. The couple commemorated the momentous occasion with 230 family members that spanned four generations. Mr. Ross is 100 years old and his wife is 96. Seventy-four years of marriage is a tough act to follow, but there are some Canadians who have surpassed that mark; other high-profile citizens have had long-lasting unions as well.
The Mintzs and the Kuiks
Millie and Clem Mintz are the oldest living married couple in Canada. They celebrated their 80th wedding anniversary on November 14. Mrs. Mintz, 96, and Mr. Mintz, 100, have two daughters and live in Parry Sound, Ontario.
Grietje and Jakob Kuik hold the Canadian record for the longest marriage; they were married for 82 years. The Winnipeg couple is now deceased—Grietje died in 2001 and Jakob died in 2004. They had 10 children, 40 grandchildren, 176 great-grandchildren and 26 great-great grandchildren.
Wayne Gretzky
The Great One has been married to American actress Janet Jones for 26 years. The couple wed in an elaborate ceremony in 1988 in Edmonton. They live in Los Angeles and have five children.
Michael J. Fox
Movie star nice guy Michael J. Fox and wife Tracey Pollan were married on the same day in 1988 as Wayne Gretzky and Janet Jones. Some of Fox’s acting credits include “Back to the Future,” “Spin City” and “The Good Wife.” The actor has had Parkinson’s disease since 1991.
Celine Dion
Singer-songwriter Celine Dion first met her husband, Rene Angelil, when she was 12 years old. The couple married 14 years later in Quebec, in 1994. They currently reside in Las Vegas and have three boys, including a set of twins.
Frank Gehry
World-renowned architect Frank Gehry has been married to Panamanian Berta Isabel Aguilera for 40 years. The couple resides in Santa Monica, California.
Politicians
Three of Canada’s most high-profile politicians are married:
Stephen Harper
Prime Minister and Conservative Party leader Stephen Harper, 64, married Lauren Tesky in 1993. He was named Prime Minister in 2006.
Thomas Mulcair
New Democratic Party leader Thomas Mulcair wed psychologist Catherine Pinhas 39 years ago when they were both 21. The couple resides in Quebec.
Justin Trudeau
Rising political star and Liberal Party leader Justin Trudeau has been married to television host Sophie Gregoire since 2005. The couple has three children. Trudeau is the son of former long-serving Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau.
Tips for a Long and Happy Marriage
Marriage takes work, but some couples have relationships that stand the test of time:
Marry Your Best Friend
Choosing the right partner is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. Enjoying each other’s company and being able to be yourself with your partner are essential. The abilities to trust one another and laugh together are also important.
Don’t Make Your Kids the Number One Priority
Children are an integral part of many marriages, but if they are the top priority it may create problems. Scheduling alone time and date nights can help keep you connected to your spouse. Someday your kids will grow up and (hopefully) leave the nest. Being close with your spouse while they are still home is important and also sets a good example for them regarding their future relationships.
Limit Outside Influences
Don’t let other people interfere with your marriage, even in-laws, siblings or friends. The two of you, and no one else, call the shots.
Don’t Ignore the Little Things
Life is busy; kids, work and other commitments can easily compete with your relationship. Saying, “I love you” and kissing and hugging each other “hello” and “goodbye” are ways to stay connected.
Being married can be hard and all couples go through tough times. Finding the right balance for your relationship can make it a very rewarding experience.
When you’re getting ready to share the rest of your life with a new spouse, you’re probably focused on plans associated with the wedding and surrounding events, such as a reception or rehearsal dinner. You’re probably also looking forward to the details associated with starting a new life together, such as moving in together, buying a home or opening joint accounts. With all the preparation that goes into a new marriage, it’s important to think about life with a new spouse after the honeymoon is over. Premarital counseling is a worthwhile investment, offering these potential benefits to you, your spouse-to-be and your union.
Communicating More Effectively
Communication is a critical component of any successful relationship, especially a marriage. A lack of communication or poor dialoguing can lead to or reveal cracks in any union. You and your partner may think that you have productive conversations, but an independent observation from a therapist or counselor can alert both of you to potential issues. For example, you may be great at articulating your point of view, but not so much when it comes to hearing what your spouse is really saying. Premarital therapy can help both of you work on your skills, boosting not only the effectiveness of your conversations but conflict resolution as well.
Bridging Differences With Counseling
Despite what you might see or hear in media and entertainment, there’s no one set rule when it comes to opposites attracting. Even if you and your partner have several commonalities in background and values, the two of you will also have differences in perspective, approaches and other opinions that can be the source of marital issues. For instance, the two of you may actually have very different ideas of what life together may look like. Your idea of quality time might be enjoying a movie at home, while your spouse may prefer a date night at a nice restaurant. Small differences can develop into irreconcilable ones without the objective microscope of premarital counseling.
Counseling Together and Building Together
Whether your wedding vows explicitly mention “forsaking all others” or not, the reality is that the two of you are definitely a team. While your opposition isn’t necessarily other people, recognize that your marriage will face challenges, big and small. Remember that you committed to each other and that as a team, you can overcome anything. Pre-marriage counseling for couples can be effective at helping the two of you meet small, early challenges, making you stronger for more difficult trials later in life. No successful athletic team can win without teamwork, and this is also true for married couples.
Understanding Needs
As a couple, you each have individual needs for communication, validation and how you give and receive love. It’s important that each of you understands the other’s needs when it comes to these aspects of life together. When you’re frustrated about something, your partner may think that you need solutions, when in reality, you just need someone to listen. When your companion is upset, you may not hear directly, but you may recognize behavioral patterns. Premarital therapy gives you and your spouse-to-be the opportunity to talk openly and freely about your needs, how you communicate and how you respond to conflicts and expressions of love. Sometimes there are things that you don’t see or notice, and an objective outsider can bring this to your attention in a way that is free of judgment.
There’s a lot to look forward to when marrying the love of your life. It’s a wonderful feeling to anticipate the good times during the wedding ceremony and the honeymoon; however, there will also be external and internal challenges that you will face as a couple. Premarital counseling is a great opportunity to discuss hopes, fears and issues in an environment that is open and objective.
Get into the habit of making your significant other feel special whenever you have the opportunity by giving small gifts, gestures, and tokens of love.
It is no secret that marriage takes a lot of work. What many people don’t seem to realize is how the seeds need to be planted early in the relationship in order for love to continuously bloom. Flowery metaphors aside, you want to get into the habit of making your significant other feel special whenever you have the opportunity. There are little tokens of affection, gestures, and gifts of love you can work into your interactions with your partner that are sure to keep the fire burning between you throughout your engagement and long into your marriage.
Whether you are currently planning for your wedding or you haven’t begun to discuss the engagement yet, it can be useful to explore different ways to brighten your significant other’s day. Check out these suggestions and see which ideas might help you in your quest.
Daily Routine
Living with your partner before marriage is a great way to put your relationship to the test. Whether you have had dozens of roommates in the past or your significant other is the first person you’ve cohabitated with, the experience can push you to the edge. Of course, once the growing pains have worn off, you will be able to figure out how to work in synchronicity. If you want to make your partner feel special, be sure to take note of his or her daily routine.
Is coffee the first thing your significant other needs upon waking? Help start the day off right by getting up a little bit earlier and making a gift of fresh coffee. Does your partner hate doing laundry? Offer to do it after a long day and watch a scowl turn into a smile. These gestures are small, but they can go a long way to keep a relationship alive. Domestic life tends to be boring and repetitive, so look at ways you can infuse how much you love your partner into these tasks.
Literal Gifts
Relationships are often built around gifts. Culturally speaking, the act of giving a partner a gift has been practiced for countless centuries. These days, some people tend to ask for more than others when it comes to receiving presents. Showering your partner with all sorts of lavish gifts is probably not the best idea, nor is it a financially sensible move for most people to make. Still, little things here and there can go a long way to show you were thinking about your partner.
These gifts can be something like a specific item your significant other has been eyeing or some small surprise you grab at the store on your way home from work. A candy bar might not cost much, but you can definitely turn someone’s day around by showing up with one at the right moment. Presents are common early in a relationship and during birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries. Surprise your partner by giving him a present when he least expects it, and he’s likely to feel loved.
Whisper Words of Wisdom
Finally, words can go a long way. There are going to come times in your relationship when you and your partner are not going to see a lot of each other. Demanding work schedules and obligations can make it so you only get a few hours together a week. When this happens, you want to keep your communication open. Send a text every now and then to check in or share something sweet or funny. Try to avoid only contacting your partner when you need something, and it will do wonders to show how much you care.
Practicing little rituals and exchanging various kinds of gifts with your significant other can help both of you to feel loved and supported throughout your relationship. When you get into these habits early enough, it will be much easier for you to approach married life with confidence.
On April 13, Norma and Ross Irwin of Peterborough, Ontario celebrated their 74th wedding anniversary. The couple commemorated the momentous occasion with 230 family members that spanned four generations. Mr. Ross is 100 years old and his wife is 96. Seventy-four years of marriage is a tough act to follow, but there are some Canadians who have surpassed that mark; other high-profile citizens have had long-lasting unions as well.
The Mintzs and the Kuiks
Millie and Clem Mintz are the oldest living married couple in Canada. They celebrated their 80th wedding anniversary on November 14. Mrs. Mintz, 96, and Mr. Mintz, 100, have two daughters and live in Parry Sound, Ontario.
Grietje and Jakob Kuik hold the Canadian record for the longest marriage; they were married for 82 years. The Winnipeg couple is now deceased—Grietje died in 2001 and Jakob died in 2004. They had 10 children, 40 grandchildren, 176 great-grandchildren and 26 great-great grandchildren.
Wayne Gretzky
The Great One has been married to American actress Janet Jones for 26 years. The couple wed in an elaborate ceremony in 1988 in Edmonton. They live in Los Angeles and have five children.
Michael J. Fox
Movie star nice guy Michael J. Fox and wife Tracey Pollan were married on the same day in 1988 as Wayne Gretzky and Janet Jones. Some of Fox’s acting credits include “Back to the Future,” “Spin City” and “The Good Wife.” The actor has had Parkinson’s disease since 1991.
Celine Dion
Singer-songwriter Celine Dion first met her husband, Rene Angelil, when she was 12 years old. The couple married 14 years later in Quebec, in 1994. They currently reside in Las Vegas and have three boys, including a set of twins.
Frank Gehry
World-renowned architect Frank Gehry has been married to Panamanian Berta Isabel Aguilera for 40 years. The couple resides in Santa Monica, California.
Politicians
Three of Canada’s most high-profile politicians are married:
Stephen Harper
Prime Minister and Conservative Party leader Stephen Harper, 64, married Lauren Tesky in 1993. He was named Prime Minister in 2006.
Thomas Mulcair
New Democratic Party leader Thomas Mulcair wed psychologist Catherine Pinhas 39 years ago when they were both 21. The couple resides in Quebec.
Justin Trudeau
Rising political star and Liberal Party leader Justin Trudeau has been married to television host Sophie Gregoire since 2005. The couple has three children. Trudeau is the son of former long-serving Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau.
Tips for a Long and Happy Marriage
Marriage takes work, but some couples have relationships that stand the test of time:
Marry Your Best Friend
Choosing the right partner is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. Enjoying each other’s company and being able to be yourself with your partner are essential. The abilities to trust one another and laugh together are also important.
Don’t Make Your Kids the Number One Priority
Children are an integral part of many marriages, but if they are the top priority it may create problems. Scheduling alone time and date nights can help keep you connected to your spouse. Someday your kids will grow up and (hopefully) leave the nest. Being close with your spouse while they are still home is important and also sets a good example for them regarding their future relationships.
Limit Outside Influences
Don’t let other people interfere with your marriage, even in-laws, siblings or friends. The two of you, and no one else, call the shots.
Don’t Ignore the Little Things
Life is busy; kids, work and other commitments can easily compete with your relationship. Saying, “I love you” and kissing and hugging each other “hello” and “goodbye” are ways to stay connected.
Being married can be hard and all couples go through tough times. Finding the right balance for your relationship can make it a very rewarding experience.
