Eco-friendly weddings are on trend. Sending digital invites and using a website to provide information about your wedding is a great way to save time and paper. If you’re considering sending digital thank you notes, consider these reasons for handwriting your thank you notes.
Handwritten Notes Are More Personal
Setting words on paper takes time. It’s very easy to dash off a text or email. When you sit down to write thank you notes, it’s an investment in your time and emotions. You may have to think about what to write before you set it in ink. Handwritten notes are often more authentic and thoughtful than digital notes. The recipient will know you cared enough to take time out of your busy schedule to write a note.
Everyone Loves To Get Mail
When you send and mail a handwritten note, it stands out. Who doesn’t like to find something special in the mailbox? Think about how many emails or texts you get each day. How many of those do you really remember and save? Many people keep handwritten notes and cards for months, even years. A wedding thank you note is about more than just the gift. You can thank someone for showing up and supporting your relationship or for being there during your life. Reading those words may be just what the recipient needs to hear.
Handwritten Notes Show Gratitude
When you send digital missives, it’s easy to rewrite the note until you get it just right. When writing thank you notes by hand, you either get it right the first time or start over on a new card. After a while, that could be expensive. Handwritten notes can share your gratitude more authentically than digital notes.
Know Who Gets Thank You Notes
Every guest who showed up for your wedding should get a thank you note, whether or not they brought a present. You should also send thank you notes for each gift received at other wedding parties, like for your engagement or wedding shower. Even with smaller weddings, you want to keep up with those notes so you aren’t overwhelmed after the wedding.
Tips To Keep Up With a Mountain of Thank You Notes
You may have 100 or more thank-you notes to write after the wedding and honeymoon. You may be ready to be done with wedding planning and move on. The key to tackling this final task is to plan ahead. Start by ordering thank you notes when you order your invitations, even if you use digital invites.
Discuss thank you notes with your future spouse when you start planning your wedding. Ensure you’re both on the same page with how you plan to handle the notes. Buy stamps. Make address return labels. Track home addresses as you get gifts from your friends and family. This will make the job of writing notes much more manageable.
Have a page in your wedding planning notebook for people who need thank-you notes. Instead of waiting until after the wedding, write notes as you receive gifts. You can wait to mail them after the wedding. If you spend a half hour each week writing a couple of notes, it will dramatically reduce your time when you get home from your honeymoon.
Don’t Procrastinate
Plan an evening after the honeymoon when you and your partner will sit down and plow through the rest of your thank you notes. Maybe you can ask one or two friends to help you with the notes and to keep you accountable. Your friends and family will think you’re organized and on top of things when they receive handwritten thank-you notes.
Many people have strong ideas about what their wedding day will look like. Details such as the venue, members of the wedding party, and the cake are critical and require early coordination and decision-making. This is also true for your attire. This is one of the most important events in a person’s life, and most Canadians want to recall the day fondly.
People marrying for a second (or third) time often have a different perspective on their nuptials this time around. Because you’ve walked down the aisle before, your thoughts on certain details may have changed between now and then. What might’ve been important the first time around may not matter as much. Still, it’s important that you’re able to look back on your second wedding day positively. Here are some thoughts about how you can show up for your next nuptials.
White Is All Right
In many cultures, white is a color that tends to be associated with weddings, especially as a bridal gown and sometimes as a groom’s tuxedo. In many societies, white is associated with concepts of purity and innocence, but that doesn’t mean you can’t wear it again. Your second nuptials should be everything you and your partner dream about. If that includes wearing white, wear your white and wear it well! White is a great color when it comes to comfort, practicality, and versatility. It works with almost any color or theme, and it never goes out of style.
Do You, Your Hue
Of course, if you want to ditch the white, that’s fine too. Some people associate it with doing something for the very first time. If you want to go a different way, now’s the time. Do you have a favorite color or a shade that works well with your skin? It’s your wedding and you can “throw a different shade.” Are you looking for inspiration? Think about when you’ll be tying the knot. The seasons or time of year are often good starting points for wedding apparel themes. Outdoor or daytime events lend themselves to off-white or pastel colors, but darker colors, jewel tones, and metallic shades will also work.
The Casual Approach To Attire
Whereas many weddings involve formal gowns and tuxedos, a second ceremony is a great opportunity to go casual. Prioritizing comfort over fashion is never the wrong move. Some reasons to ditch formal or semiformal wear include the following:
Smaller budget
Changes in body shape
More low-key or less formal ceremony
Outdoor event, particularly during the warmer months
Comfort as priority
Your commitment to marriage isn’t dictated by what you wear, so feel free to abandon formalness.
The Attire Switch-Up
You may have found a bridal gown or tuxedo to be restricting the first time around. Even if you don’t go 100% casual, a second marriage ceremony is an ideal opportunity to turn traditional attire on its head. Instead of a white formal gown, you may consider a cocktail dress or pantsuit. You can also play with shape, opting for something asymmetrical or incorporating prints and patterns into your look.
Similarly, a few accessory substitutions can also put a nice spin on the look of a suit. Consider ditching neckwear and substituting casual or fashion sneakers for patent-leather soft shoes. Instead of wearing three-piece suits, abandon the coat and just go with a vest and dress shirt on top. There are so many substitutions that work for first and second ceremonies alike.
If love leads you down the aisle a second time, there’s no limit when it comes to your wedding outfit. Wear the colors, styles, and patterns that reflect who you are at this stage in life. Dress it up, dress it down. The only thing that matters is that this new ceremony is everything you and your spouse-to-be hoped for.
When a couple has decided to marry, the wedding and reception are the main events that require the most planning, preparation, and coordination. The marriage ceremony and the following celebration are where you’ll make things official around your closest family and friends; however, there are other events that deserve your attention and consideration. One of these is the rehearsal dinner. This is usually a pre-wedding event where the engaged couple celebrates those who have helped with the wedding, including planners, in-laws, and others in your wedding party.
Exploring the Rehearsal Dinner
The rehearsal dinner was a way for in-laws to meet before the wedding. This was also an opportunity for the couple to thank loved ones for their love and support. Typically, the wedding would be paid for by the bride’s family, and the groom’s family would plan and fund the rehearsal dinner. Today, these gatherings are often planned and paid for by the engaged couple. If you’re thinking about having one for your nuptials, consider these tips.
Choosing a Special Place Rehearsal
You may have several options when it comes to a venue for your rehearsal dinner. Some wedding venues also have facilities to host a dinner. If you haven’t picked a location, consider a place with special meaning to you as a couple. It could be the place where you first met or a restaurant where you had your first date. Choosing a place of significance to you or your family helps make the occasion all the more special for everyone involved.
Embracing a Theme Rehearsal
You’ve heard of themed weddings and receptions. Why not have a themed rehearsal dinner? A themed event gives you and your guests an opportunity to flex their creative muscles while also having some fun. Perhaps you and your partner compromised on a theme for the wedding. If so, the pre-wedding dinner could allow both of you to enjoy themes. You’re not just limited to decor but also attire, menu, and activities.
Opting for Brunch
In Canada and other parts of the West, brunch has become a fun social activity for people of all ages. It’s also a nice alternative to dinner. Do you have a favorite spot for brunch? Check to see if they host private parties or can seat large parties. Enjoy the company of your future spouse and in-laws over your favorite breakfast and non-breakfast bites and beverages.
Taking It Easy
If your wedding will be grand, elaborate, and over the top, consider having a more laid-back gathering for loved ones. Feel free to go casual with the menu and save the fuss and muss for the big day. You could make your rehearsal dinner a “game night” where everyone plays group games or board games. The goal here is not to work too hard, especially the night before you say, “I do.”
Hitting the Town
If you’ve got friends and family coming from out of town, you could use your pre-wedding event as an opportunity to show them what your city has to offer. You don’t necessarily have to play tour guide, but as an experienced local, you can show them the hot spots as well as the hidden jewels.
Having a Blast
Rehearsal dinners don’t necessarily have to be a meal. Consider an unconventional activity such as rock climbing, bowling, or playing miniature golf. These activities are fun for a group and provide a relaxed environment for people to meet and get to know each other a little better. This is also a good alternative to a bachelor or bachelorette party, which may not be everyone’s idea of a good time.
When it’s time to tie the knot, there are other opportunities besides the wedding and reception to connect with your nearest and dearest. Rehearsal dinners are a great way to spend more time with the ones you love. Be creative and have fun!
Many people envision their wedding day as something magical with clear ideas of what the day will entail, including those who will support them at the altar. Members of the wedding party assume responsibility for helping a couple prepare for their nuptials. They should understand they’ll be helping you kick off this new phase in life. You’ll be asking a lot of these people, so remember these “facts” about those in your wedding party.
The Wedding Party is Not Your Wallet or Purse
It’s fairly common for bridesmaids and groomsmen to be responsible for paying for their attire, whether they’re renting or buying. A best man or maid of honor may have additional duties such as planning a stag and doe party or other prenuptial festivities. Be thoughtful about what the people in your wedding party are spending to participate. Your marriage ceremony shouldn’t be a financial burden to you and your future spouse. It definitely shouldn’t be one to those in your wedding party!
They’re Not Your Servant or Secretary
Your nearest and dearest friends and family members often have good ideas and wisdom, making them excellent resources when planning nuptials. Don’t take advantage of their willingness to help. It’s important to be reasonable when expecting others to accommodate your schedule. They have lives of their own. Inviting them to help you find an outfit or sample cakes is cool. Expecting them to be at your beck and call is not.
They’re Not Mind Readers
You might have a sibling or best friend that knows you really well. While they might have a strong sense of your likes and dislikes, you shouldn’t assume they can read your mind. Clear and constant communication is important when preparing for a marriage ceremony. If you want your bridesmaids or groomsmen to do or not do certain things, say so.
They’re Not Your Dolls
Many Canadian couples like the idea of a themed marriage ceremony and reception. A themed event may call for a particular look for your wedding party, especially when it comes to hair, makeup, and apparel. Remember your loved ones aren’t dolls where you can dramatically change their appearance based on your whims. Asking someone to wear a long-sleeved top to cover up tattoos is one thing. Expecting someone to change their hair color is another. It’s unreasonable to expect others to alter the way they look to please you.
They’re Not Your Subjects
Your nuptials are about you and your spouse. While your groomsmen or bridesmaids want you to be happy, you can’t force them to do things they don’t want to do. For example, if you have a loved one that doesn’t drink, don’t expect them to enjoy a glass of champagne just because it’s time to toast. While the day is one of the most important ones in your life, that doesn’t give you the right to bark orders to those in your wedding party. Respect your bridesmaids and groomsmen.
They’re Not Your Fixers
Despite the best-laid plans, something can go wrong, especially when you’re tying the knot. If a photographer fails to show up, don’t expect the people in your wedding party to “save the day” with a smartphone camera or something equally ridiculous. Mistakes are unfortunate, but you can’t expect your circle to fix everything that doesn’t go according to plan.
Having people who love you enough to be in your wedding party is a blessing. Not everyone has that kind of support, so be grateful for those who can handle reasonable duties as a bridesmaid or a groomsman. Making irrational or unrealistic demands of those around you can turn what should be a dream into a nightmare for loved ones.
There are quite a few topics you would want to discuss before getting married. Couples all over the world pledge to marry each other with the understanding that their lives will be tied together. Canadian couples understand the concept of “two becoming one.” They know that married life will be one of joint decision-making, compromises, and hopefully, a balanced exchange of ideas. A successful union is more than just sharing a home or a bed. You’ll be sharing more than just a living space, which is why it’s important to see where the two of you stand on certain key issues. It’s hard to know your significant other’s perspective without having these difficult, although critical, conversations before the big day.
Money, Money, Money
Can you imagine marrying a person with no knowledge of their income or assets? Presumably you’ll be living together, so you’ll need to have a conversation about how monthly expenses will be paid. Expand the conversation to other key money-related topics:
Attitudes towards money
Sharing bank accounts or maintaining existing assets
Short-term financial goals, such as saving for the wedding or a down payment for a home
Long-term financial goals, including college planning, retirement, and estate planning
Credit histories and attitudes on debt
Appetite for risk when it comes to investing
Sex and Intimacy
There are many opinions about whether couples should or shouldn’t have sex before marriage. Even if both of you are on the same page, it’s important to talk openly and honestly about sex and intimacy. Are there practices you enjoy? What about your partner? What if you have an aversion to the acts and expressions your partner finds enjoyable? You don’t want to discover on your honeymoon that you and your partner are incompatible when it comes to sex, intimacy, and affection.
Topics WithHealth Issues
Many engaged and newly married couples intend to start families of their own. Every couple should talk honestly and freely about health issues, especially those that run in their families. Are you predisposed to certain medical conditions? For example, if you and your spouse both come from families with a history of certain chronic diseases, you’ll want to know that, especially if you plan to have children together. Even if kids aren’t a part of the long-term plan, you should discuss medical histories. If dramatic lifestyle changes become necessary for one of you, both of you will be impacted.
Topics On Worldviews
If you’ve been dating for a while, there’s a good chance you know your significant other’s perspective when it comes to religion and politics. You might think you’re on board with your partner’s worldview, but you’d hate to be blindsided after marriage. Some people avoid discussing these topics, thinking they’re unfruitful or destructive. It’s critical to know where you both stand. Issues you find trivial may be a big deal to your future spouse. You may be ok with your partner having a different religion or political view, but that may change once children enter the picture.
Conflict ResolutionTopics
It’s safe to say you and your significant other won’t agree on everything. That’s ok. Successful marriages aren’t about avoiding conflict but rather resolving it in a way that is mutually beneficial and healthy. Do you prefer to deal with conflict as it comes up? Maybe one or both of you tend to struggle with small disagreements, which can become bigger sources of contention. Not only do you need to discuss conflict resolution, but it’s also important to recognize how your biases, insecurities, and vulnerabilities may show up in your disagreements.
Sharing life together as a married couple means understanding that some days won’t be as sunny as others. Having open and honest discussions about difficult topics beforehand can help you navigate through and around storms. While it’s important to approach marriage with an open heart, open eyes are also critical.
When a couple decides to marry, usually there’s an understanding they’ll be sharing things moving forward. This is true for couples in Canada and all over the world. Many newlyweds will share a last name, a primary address, several monthly expenses, and finances.
While these are all important elements in a marriage, finances can be very complicated. Sharing finances should lead to conversations about income, assets, debts, bank accounts, and credit histories, among others. Here’s what engaged and seriously dating couples should know about credit.
What Is Credit?
Generally, the term “credit” refers to a person’s creditworthiness or history as a borrower. This record is often expressed as a number or code, typically called a credit score. This score is based on your debt history and provides insight to lenders on the likelihood of you repaying debt on time. Credit scores not only impact your ability to secure loans or credit cards, but they can also affect employment opportunities sometimes.
What Does a Score Say?
In Canada, an individual’s credit rating is alphanumeric. A number ranging from 1 to 9 indicates your payment track record. A “1” means the person always pays their bills within 30 days of the due date. A “9” means the person never pays their bills. A “0” means the person has no credit history. Letters indicate the type of debt a borrower has:
I – This is an installment loan where the borrower makes fixed payments on a regular schedule until an established date. Think of a mortgage or a loan for college.
O – This is an open credit account where a balance must be repaid in full after a certain period. Certain charge cards (as opposed to credit cards) work this way.
R – This refers to revolving credit, such as credit cards, where the balance and repayment vary.
The type of debt you incur also matters to anyone reviewing your history as a borrower.
Do Married Couples Share Scores?
When two become one in marriage, their histories (and scores) do not merge. Your history is your own, and the same is true for your partner. Should you choose to open an account together or secure a loan together, lenders will review both histories. That shared account will also show up on both of your records. It’s important to discuss current debt and attitudes toward borrowing in advance.
Does Bad Credit Impact My Partner?
The good news is that having a spouse with bad credit doesn’t lower yours by marriage or association. Getting married doesn’t do anything for or against your rating. Joint debt will show up on both reports. Potential lenders will review both your and your partner’s histories if you’re applying for a loan together. If you add your partner as an authorized user to one or more accounts (or vice versa), those accounts will be a part of both histories.
Do Name Changes Impact My Score?
Taking on your spouse’s last name, hyphenating names, or choosing a new name doesn’t impact your score. It doesn’t reset your borrower history. You can initiate a name change with credit reporting bureaus by formally contacting them. Your reports may also update as you register a name change with existing accounts.
What About Disputes?
If a report shows inaccurate information, you can formally dispute it with credit reporting bureaus. This is true for individual debt and shared debt. Because your and your partner’s credit records are separate, clearing up a dispute on shared debt does not automatically clear it for both you and your partner.
Finances are a complex subject for dating, engaged, and married couples. It’s important to be up on all the facts before you and your significant other decide to make joint purchases and take on debt. Your individual credit histories can’t automatically impact your shared financial future, but they may provide critical insights sooner than later.
Engagement parties have long been a tradition that couples indulge in before getting married. However, younger Canadians have been putting a unique spin on this custom in recent years by throwing surprise engagement parties. This can be a great way to delight the happy couple and show them how much their connection means to their family and friends. Still, you need to go about the process in the right manner for it to work. Review this guide and gain more perspective on how to properly throw a surprise engagement party.
Ask the Right Preliminary Questions
Before you do anything else, you need to ask yourself a handful of questions about the couple. Namely, you must consider whether or not they will appreciate being surprised. Some people absolutely hate surprises, especially individuals who like to have a lot of control over their lives. If the couple likes to meticulously plan every detail of their routine without change, then you may want to nix the idea of surprising them. You should also consider whether the guests can keep a secret. If you’re working with people who love to gossip, you may want to consider other options.
Create the Guest-list For The Engagement Party
Next, you need to figure out who will be invited to the party. This can be a tricky step, especially if you don’t know all the people the couple would want present at the event. Since you cannot ask the couple without giving away the secret, you must work with other friends and family members to put together a succinct list. You must be very careful with who you invite, as custom dictates people who are invited to the engagement party must also be invited to the wedding. Be thorough to avoid any awkward situations for the couple.
Pick a Place
One of the more challenging aspects of planning a surprise engagement party is selecting a location. Opting for a venue like a restaurant can make it easier to figure out food and drink concerns, but it also can be more expensive and limit how many guests you can invite. The popular alternative younger Canadians have been taking advantage of in recent years is hosting the party at someone’s home. This can help to create a relaxed and welcoming environment for everyone. If you decide to use a venue, be sure to book the space at least three months in advance.
Plan Activities At Your Engagement Party
To make the event more personal, you may wish to include a variety of activities. Specifically, it can be a good idea to plan games that are centered around the couple and their relationship. For example, you can create a list of questions about the couple and have all of the guests answer them to the best of their abilities. When the answers are read aloud, it can make for a fun and hilarious experience as the couple learns who knows the most about them. Look at sites like Pinterest for more inspiration on party games.
Figure Out the Final Plan
Once you have all of the details figured out, you must create a plan for the day of the party. How are you going to get the couple to the venue without giving away the secret? Will someone be in charge of spending time with the couple beforehand so that they make it to the venue in a timely manner? You may also want to consider having guests park their vehicles away from the venue where the party is being held. This will help to keep the party a total surprise until the last possible moment.
Throw a Wonderful Engagement Party
While surprise engagement parties have become a popular trend among younger Canadians, a lot of work goes into planning such events. As long as you’re prepared to handle all the details, a surprise party can be a wonderful way to celebrate a special couple.
Guests who don’t RSVP are the bane of hosts of all kinds of parties, not just wedding receptions. Some experts estimate that up to 20% of wedding guests will RSVP no, while another 60% will RSVP yes. That leaves 20% who won’t respond at all. The reason a guest doesn’t respond isn’t important. Dealing with those non-responders is. Expect to have to call some people on your guest list to find out whether they’re attending or not. Have a plan to minimize your frustration.
Include a Grace Period
Your caterer needs a head count by a certain date. Move your RSVP deadline up about two weeks from that day. This gives you some time to track down those guests who didn’t RSVP. Put some time in your own schedule to handle the situation. You know you’re going to need to deal with non-responsive guests. Planning for it can give you breathing room.
Send Contact Reminders
About a week before the RSVP deadline, send out a reminder by email or text. This gives those folks with good intentions a chance to respond. You should get a few more responses before the deadline. It’s easy to lose track of time and forget to RSVP. Make it as easy as possible to RSVP, either through your wedding website or by responding to the reminder.
Take a Breath
As the deadline gets closer, it’s easy to feel frustrated. Weddings are serious business. Before you start pestering non-responsive guests, shake off those feelings of irritation. Yes, you’re busy and shouldn’t have to track down those guests to get the answers you need. However, your wedding day doesn’t need to be clouded by resentment by you or your guests. Your guests may have busy lives that don’t revolve around your wedding. You don’t know what they’re dealing with. Take a breath and relax.
Make Contact
You and your partner know your guests who haven’t responded. Decide how to make contact with each person on the list. Get help from your wedding party if your list is long. Start by connecting with those who have not responded. If your previous text or email went unanswered, find another way to reach out. Leave a voicemail or meet in person. This is not the time to use a group email or text. Reach out to each guest individually. Emphasize that you’re trying to get a head count for the venue or caterer.
Be Gracious
Instead of yelling at your guests who haven’t responded, take another approach. Guests who don’t respond may be dealing with more than you realize or are embarrassed for not sending in their RSVP. Start by asking if they received your invitation. If they haven’t received it, they don’t even know about the deadline. You want to be able to deal with that situation without making them feel bad.
If they have received the invitation, gently remind them of the RSVP deadline and ask about their intentions. If someone is hesitant, give them a way to bow out. There’s no need to make them feel any worse. You just need a response.
If you have to leave a voicemail, give them another 48 hours to respond. You can say that if you don’t hear from them, you’ll assume they aren’t coming. If you simply can’t get a hold of someone, it’s a pretty good assumption that they won’t attend. Should they respond later, you may just have to be firm in telling them that you won’t have food for them. Maybe they can still attend, depending on the headcount for the venue. Be prepared to handle those situations on an individual basis. Don’t stress too much over non-responsive guests.
For Canadian couples who have decided to tie the knot, the marriage ceremony is one of the most important life events. It requires careful consideration, planning, and preparation, from the day of engagement all the way to the end of the reception. Many couples also anticipate kicking off this new phase of life with a honeymoon. Similar to your wedding, your honeymoon also requires careful planning. You want to start your marriage off on a high note. Here are six things you should not do on your special getaway.
1. Going Without a Plan
Whether you envision lying on a beach somewhere in the sun or taking in the bright lights of a destination city, you need to have a plan. What do you hope to accomplish on your honeymoon? This vacation is a celebration of your union, so it’s important to schedule memorable and romantic activities to make the trip special. Planning your itinerary to the letter is going too far in the other direction, but it’s important to make time for the essential things.
2. Not Having a Budget
One of the worst experiences is going on a trip and learning that you don’t have enough money to do the things you want to do. Discovering you’ve under-budgeted for your honeymoon is quite the drag. Instead of enjoying the time together, you’ll be preoccupied with how much things cost. You shouldn’t blow your finances on a single vacation, so it’s important to choose an experience that’s appropriate for your planned budget. If you can’t afford to splurge now, enjoy a modest vacation and save your funds for a future anniversary.
3. Ignoring Rules, Regulations, and Advisories
Can you imagine arriving at a coastal destination in the middle of a hurricane? It’s unwise to book a trip without researching information about the place. There could be civil unrest that makes the desired destination an unsafe place to travel. Some countries require visitors to get certain vaccines or meet other requirements before traveling. Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to planning a vacation. Nothing ruins a honeymoon like being unable to travel.
4. OverpackingOn A Honeymoon
The last thing you or your spouse will want to do is struggle with too much luggage or bags that are stuffed with things you don’t need. Think carefully about your destination. Will you really need an evening outfit every night? Maybe you can do laundry at the resort or vacation home you’ll be staying at. What if you want to bring back souvenirs? There are weight restrictions for luggage on most airlines. Limit your bags to the essentials. Your body will appreciate it.
5. Oversharing Your Honeymoon on Social Media
Some things have to be seen (and shared) to be believed. That breathtaking sunset or main course at a Michelin star restaurant may be Instagram-worthy, but don’t spend all your time sharing every minute of your trip. Remember to be in the moment with your new spouse. You don’t want to miss what’s happening in front of you and between you because you’re posting updates to friends and followers.
6. Not Respecting the Locals and Their Culture
Wherever you go, remember to respect the locals and their customs. Even in locations that thrive on tourism, be mindful of how your actions can inadvertently affect others. What might be acceptable at home in Canada may not be so in other countries. Know before you go.
Your wedding will be one of life’s most important events. A honeymoon that’s every bit as magical as your marriage ceremony is the perfect start to life with the one you love. Keep these tips in mind as you make your plans.
When you’re getting ready to share the rest of your life with a new spouse, you’re probably focused on plans associated with the wedding and surrounding events, such as a reception or rehearsal dinner. You’re probably also looking forward to the details associated with starting a new life together, such as moving in together, buying a home or opening joint accounts. With all the preparation that goes into a new marriage, it’s important to think about life with a new spouse after the honeymoon is over. Premarital counseling is a worthwhile investment, offering these potential benefits to you, your spouse-to-be and your union.
Communicating More Effectively
Communication is a critical component of any successful relationship, especially a marriage. A lack of communication or poor dialoguing can lead to or reveal cracks in any union. You and your partner may think that you have productive conversations, but an independent observation from a therapist or counselor can alert both of you to potential issues. For example, you may be great at articulating your point of view, but not so much when it comes to hearing what your spouse is really saying. Premarital therapy can help both of you work on your skills, boosting not only the effectiveness of your conversations but conflict resolution as well.
Bridging Differences With Counseling
Despite what you might see or hear in media and entertainment, there’s no one set rule when it comes to opposites attracting. Even if you and your partner have several commonalities in background and values, the two of you will also have differences in perspective, approaches and other opinions that can be the source of marital issues. For instance, the two of you may actually have very different ideas of what life together may look like. Your idea of quality time might be enjoying a movie at home, while your spouse may prefer a date night at a nice restaurant. Small differences can develop into irreconcilable ones without the objective microscope of premarital counseling.
Counseling Together and Building Together
Whether your wedding vows explicitly mention “forsaking all others” or not, the reality is that the two of you are definitely a team. While your opposition isn’t necessarily other people, recognize that your marriage will face challenges, big and small. Remember that you committed to each other and that as a team, you can overcome anything. Pre-marriage counseling for couples can be effective at helping the two of you meet small, early challenges, making you stronger for more difficult trials later in life. No successful athletic team can win without teamwork, and this is also true for married couples.
Understanding Needs
As a couple, you each have individual needs for communication, validation and how you give and receive love. It’s important that each of you understands the other’s needs when it comes to these aspects of life together. When you’re frustrated about something, your partner may think that you need solutions, when in reality, you just need someone to listen. When your companion is upset, you may not hear directly, but you may recognize behavioral patterns. Premarital therapy gives you and your spouse-to-be the opportunity to talk openly and freely about your needs, how you communicate and how you respond to conflicts and expressions of love. Sometimes there are things that you don’t see or notice, and an objective outsider can bring this to your attention in a way that is free of judgment.
There’s a lot to look forward to when marrying the love of your life. It’s a wonderful feeling to anticipate the good times during the wedding ceremony and the honeymoon; however, there will also be external and internal challenges that you will face as a couple. Premarital counseling is a great opportunity to discuss hopes, fears and issues in an environment that is open and objective.
Eco-friendly weddings are on trend. Sending digital invites and using a website to provide information about your wedding is a great way to save time and paper. If you’re considering sending digital thank you notes, consider these reasons for handwriting your thank you notes.
Handwritten Notes Are More Personal
Setting words on paper takes time. It’s very easy to dash off a text or email. When you sit down to write thank you notes, it’s an investment in your time and emotions. You may have to think about what to write before you set it in ink. Handwritten notes are often more authentic and thoughtful than digital notes. The recipient will know you cared enough to take time out of your busy schedule to write a note.
Everyone Loves To Get Mail
When you send and mail a handwritten note, it stands out. Who doesn’t like to find something special in the mailbox? Think about how many emails or texts you get each day. How many of those do you really remember and save? Many people keep handwritten notes and cards for months, even years. A wedding thank you note is about more than just the gift. You can thank someone for showing up and supporting your relationship or for being there during your life. Reading those words may be just what the recipient needs to hear.
Handwritten Notes Show Gratitude
When you send digital missives, it’s easy to rewrite the note until you get it just right. When writing thank you notes by hand, you either get it right the first time or start over on a new card. After a while, that could be expensive. Handwritten notes can share your gratitude more authentically than digital notes.
Know Who Gets Thank You Notes
Every guest who showed up for your wedding should get a thank you note, whether or not they brought a present. You should also send thank you notes for each gift received at other wedding parties, like for your engagement or wedding shower. Even with smaller weddings, you want to keep up with those notes so you aren’t overwhelmed after the wedding.
Tips To Keep Up With a Mountain of Thank You Notes
You may have 100 or more thank-you notes to write after the wedding and honeymoon. You may be ready to be done with wedding planning and move on. The key to tackling this final task is to plan ahead. Start by ordering thank you notes when you order your invitations, even if you use digital invites.
Discuss thank you notes with your future spouse when you start planning your wedding. Ensure you’re both on the same page with how you plan to handle the notes. Buy stamps. Make address return labels. Track home addresses as you get gifts from your friends and family. This will make the job of writing notes much more manageable.
Have a page in your wedding planning notebook for people who need thank-you notes. Instead of waiting until after the wedding, write notes as you receive gifts. You can wait to mail them after the wedding. If you spend a half hour each week writing a couple of notes, it will dramatically reduce your time when you get home from your honeymoon.
Don’t Procrastinate
Plan an evening after the honeymoon when you and your partner will sit down and plow through the rest of your thank you notes. Maybe you can ask one or two friends to help you with the notes and to keep you accountable. Your friends and family will think you’re organized and on top of things when they receive handwritten thank-you notes.
Many people have strong ideas about what their wedding day will look like. Details such as the venue, members of the wedding party, and the cake are critical and require early coordination and decision-making. This is also true for your attire. This is one of the most important events in a person’s life, and most Canadians want to recall the day fondly.
People marrying for a second (or third) time often have a different perspective on their nuptials this time around. Because you’ve walked down the aisle before, your thoughts on certain details may have changed between now and then. What might’ve been important the first time around may not matter as much. Still, it’s important that you’re able to look back on your second wedding day positively. Here are some thoughts about how you can show up for your next nuptials.
White Is All Right
In many cultures, white is a color that tends to be associated with weddings, especially as a bridal gown and sometimes as a groom’s tuxedo. In many societies, white is associated with concepts of purity and innocence, but that doesn’t mean you can’t wear it again. Your second nuptials should be everything you and your partner dream about. If that includes wearing white, wear your white and wear it well! White is a great color when it comes to comfort, practicality, and versatility. It works with almost any color or theme, and it never goes out of style.
Do You, Your Hue
Of course, if you want to ditch the white, that’s fine too. Some people associate it with doing something for the very first time. If you want to go a different way, now’s the time. Do you have a favorite color or a shade that works well with your skin? It’s your wedding and you can “throw a different shade.” Are you looking for inspiration? Think about when you’ll be tying the knot. The seasons or time of year are often good starting points for wedding apparel themes. Outdoor or daytime events lend themselves to off-white or pastel colors, but darker colors, jewel tones, and metallic shades will also work.
The Casual Approach To Attire
Whereas many weddings involve formal gowns and tuxedos, a second ceremony is a great opportunity to go casual. Prioritizing comfort over fashion is never the wrong move. Some reasons to ditch formal or semiformal wear include the following:
Smaller budget
Changes in body shape
More low-key or less formal ceremony
Outdoor event, particularly during the warmer months
Comfort as priority
Your commitment to marriage isn’t dictated by what you wear, so feel free to abandon formalness.
The Attire Switch-Up
You may have found a bridal gown or tuxedo to be restricting the first time around. Even if you don’t go 100% casual, a second marriage ceremony is an ideal opportunity to turn traditional attire on its head. Instead of a white formal gown, you may consider a cocktail dress or pantsuit. You can also play with shape, opting for something asymmetrical or incorporating prints and patterns into your look.
Similarly, a few accessory substitutions can also put a nice spin on the look of a suit. Consider ditching neckwear and substituting casual or fashion sneakers for patent-leather soft shoes. Instead of wearing three-piece suits, abandon the coat and just go with a vest and dress shirt on top. There are so many substitutions that work for first and second ceremonies alike.
If love leads you down the aisle a second time, there’s no limit when it comes to your wedding outfit. Wear the colors, styles, and patterns that reflect who you are at this stage in life. Dress it up, dress it down. The only thing that matters is that this new ceremony is everything you and your spouse-to-be hoped for.
When a couple has decided to marry, the wedding and reception are the main events that require the most planning, preparation, and coordination. The marriage ceremony and the following celebration are where you’ll make things official around your closest family and friends; however, there are other events that deserve your attention and consideration. One of these is the rehearsal dinner. This is usually a pre-wedding event where the engaged couple celebrates those who have helped with the wedding, including planners, in-laws, and others in your wedding party.
Exploring the Rehearsal Dinner
The rehearsal dinner was a way for in-laws to meet before the wedding. This was also an opportunity for the couple to thank loved ones for their love and support. Typically, the wedding would be paid for by the bride’s family, and the groom’s family would plan and fund the rehearsal dinner. Today, these gatherings are often planned and paid for by the engaged couple. If you’re thinking about having one for your nuptials, consider these tips.
Choosing a Special Place Rehearsal
You may have several options when it comes to a venue for your rehearsal dinner. Some wedding venues also have facilities to host a dinner. If you haven’t picked a location, consider a place with special meaning to you as a couple. It could be the place where you first met or a restaurant where you had your first date. Choosing a place of significance to you or your family helps make the occasion all the more special for everyone involved.
Embracing a Theme Rehearsal
You’ve heard of themed weddings and receptions. Why not have a themed rehearsal dinner? A themed event gives you and your guests an opportunity to flex their creative muscles while also having some fun. Perhaps you and your partner compromised on a theme for the wedding. If so, the pre-wedding dinner could allow both of you to enjoy themes. You’re not just limited to decor but also attire, menu, and activities.
Opting for Brunch
In Canada and other parts of the West, brunch has become a fun social activity for people of all ages. It’s also a nice alternative to dinner. Do you have a favorite spot for brunch? Check to see if they host private parties or can seat large parties. Enjoy the company of your future spouse and in-laws over your favorite breakfast and non-breakfast bites and beverages.
Taking It Easy
If your wedding will be grand, elaborate, and over the top, consider having a more laid-back gathering for loved ones. Feel free to go casual with the menu and save the fuss and muss for the big day. You could make your rehearsal dinner a “game night” where everyone plays group games or board games. The goal here is not to work too hard, especially the night before you say, “I do.”
Hitting the Town
If you’ve got friends and family coming from out of town, you could use your pre-wedding event as an opportunity to show them what your city has to offer. You don’t necessarily have to play tour guide, but as an experienced local, you can show them the hot spots as well as the hidden jewels.
Having a Blast
Rehearsal dinners don’t necessarily have to be a meal. Consider an unconventional activity such as rock climbing, bowling, or playing miniature golf. These activities are fun for a group and provide a relaxed environment for people to meet and get to know each other a little better. This is also a good alternative to a bachelor or bachelorette party, which may not be everyone’s idea of a good time.
When it’s time to tie the knot, there are other opportunities besides the wedding and reception to connect with your nearest and dearest. Rehearsal dinners are a great way to spend more time with the ones you love. Be creative and have fun!
Many people envision their wedding day as something magical with clear ideas of what the day will entail, including those who will support them at the altar. Members of the wedding party assume responsibility for helping a couple prepare for their nuptials. They should understand they’ll be helping you kick off this new phase in life. You’ll be asking a lot of these people, so remember these “facts” about those in your wedding party.
The Wedding Party is Not Your Wallet or Purse
It’s fairly common for bridesmaids and groomsmen to be responsible for paying for their attire, whether they’re renting or buying. A best man or maid of honor may have additional duties such as planning a stag and doe party or other prenuptial festivities. Be thoughtful about what the people in your wedding party are spending to participate. Your marriage ceremony shouldn’t be a financial burden to you and your future spouse. It definitely shouldn’t be one to those in your wedding party!
They’re Not Your Servant or Secretary
Your nearest and dearest friends and family members often have good ideas and wisdom, making them excellent resources when planning nuptials. Don’t take advantage of their willingness to help. It’s important to be reasonable when expecting others to accommodate your schedule. They have lives of their own. Inviting them to help you find an outfit or sample cakes is cool. Expecting them to be at your beck and call is not.
They’re Not Mind Readers
You might have a sibling or best friend that knows you really well. While they might have a strong sense of your likes and dislikes, you shouldn’t assume they can read your mind. Clear and constant communication is important when preparing for a marriage ceremony. If you want your bridesmaids or groomsmen to do or not do certain things, say so.
They’re Not Your Dolls
Many Canadian couples like the idea of a themed marriage ceremony and reception. A themed event may call for a particular look for your wedding party, especially when it comes to hair, makeup, and apparel. Remember your loved ones aren’t dolls where you can dramatically change their appearance based on your whims. Asking someone to wear a long-sleeved top to cover up tattoos is one thing. Expecting someone to change their hair color is another. It’s unreasonable to expect others to alter the way they look to please you.
They’re Not Your Subjects
Your nuptials are about you and your spouse. While your groomsmen or bridesmaids want you to be happy, you can’t force them to do things they don’t want to do. For example, if you have a loved one that doesn’t drink, don’t expect them to enjoy a glass of champagne just because it’s time to toast. While the day is one of the most important ones in your life, that doesn’t give you the right to bark orders to those in your wedding party. Respect your bridesmaids and groomsmen.
They’re Not Your Fixers
Despite the best-laid plans, something can go wrong, especially when you’re tying the knot. If a photographer fails to show up, don’t expect the people in your wedding party to “save the day” with a smartphone camera or something equally ridiculous. Mistakes are unfortunate, but you can’t expect your circle to fix everything that doesn’t go according to plan.
Having people who love you enough to be in your wedding party is a blessing. Not everyone has that kind of support, so be grateful for those who can handle reasonable duties as a bridesmaid or a groomsman. Making irrational or unrealistic demands of those around you can turn what should be a dream into a nightmare for loved ones.
There are quite a few topics you would want to discuss before getting married. Couples all over the world pledge to marry each other with the understanding that their lives will be tied together. Canadian couples understand the concept of “two becoming one.” They know that married life will be one of joint decision-making, compromises, and hopefully, a balanced exchange of ideas. A successful union is more than just sharing a home or a bed. You’ll be sharing more than just a living space, which is why it’s important to see where the two of you stand on certain key issues. It’s hard to know your significant other’s perspective without having these difficult, although critical, conversations before the big day.
Money, Money, Money
Can you imagine marrying a person with no knowledge of their income or assets? Presumably you’ll be living together, so you’ll need to have a conversation about how monthly expenses will be paid. Expand the conversation to other key money-related topics:
Attitudes towards money
Sharing bank accounts or maintaining existing assets
Short-term financial goals, such as saving for the wedding or a down payment for a home
Long-term financial goals, including college planning, retirement, and estate planning
Credit histories and attitudes on debt
Appetite for risk when it comes to investing
Sex and Intimacy
There are many opinions about whether couples should or shouldn’t have sex before marriage. Even if both of you are on the same page, it’s important to talk openly and honestly about sex and intimacy. Are there practices you enjoy? What about your partner? What if you have an aversion to the acts and expressions your partner finds enjoyable? You don’t want to discover on your honeymoon that you and your partner are incompatible when it comes to sex, intimacy, and affection.
Topics WithHealth Issues
Many engaged and newly married couples intend to start families of their own. Every couple should talk honestly and freely about health issues, especially those that run in their families. Are you predisposed to certain medical conditions? For example, if you and your spouse both come from families with a history of certain chronic diseases, you’ll want to know that, especially if you plan to have children together. Even if kids aren’t a part of the long-term plan, you should discuss medical histories. If dramatic lifestyle changes become necessary for one of you, both of you will be impacted.
Topics On Worldviews
If you’ve been dating for a while, there’s a good chance you know your significant other’s perspective when it comes to religion and politics. You might think you’re on board with your partner’s worldview, but you’d hate to be blindsided after marriage. Some people avoid discussing these topics, thinking they’re unfruitful or destructive. It’s critical to know where you both stand. Issues you find trivial may be a big deal to your future spouse. You may be ok with your partner having a different religion or political view, but that may change once children enter the picture.
Conflict ResolutionTopics
It’s safe to say you and your significant other won’t agree on everything. That’s ok. Successful marriages aren’t about avoiding conflict but rather resolving it in a way that is mutually beneficial and healthy. Do you prefer to deal with conflict as it comes up? Maybe one or both of you tend to struggle with small disagreements, which can become bigger sources of contention. Not only do you need to discuss conflict resolution, but it’s also important to recognize how your biases, insecurities, and vulnerabilities may show up in your disagreements.
Sharing life together as a married couple means understanding that some days won’t be as sunny as others. Having open and honest discussions about difficult topics beforehand can help you navigate through and around storms. While it’s important to approach marriage with an open heart, open eyes are also critical.
When a couple decides to marry, usually there’s an understanding they’ll be sharing things moving forward. This is true for couples in Canada and all over the world. Many newlyweds will share a last name, a primary address, several monthly expenses, and finances.
While these are all important elements in a marriage, finances can be very complicated. Sharing finances should lead to conversations about income, assets, debts, bank accounts, and credit histories, among others. Here’s what engaged and seriously dating couples should know about credit.
What Is Credit?
Generally, the term “credit” refers to a person’s creditworthiness or history as a borrower. This record is often expressed as a number or code, typically called a credit score. This score is based on your debt history and provides insight to lenders on the likelihood of you repaying debt on time. Credit scores not only impact your ability to secure loans or credit cards, but they can also affect employment opportunities sometimes.
What Does a Score Say?
In Canada, an individual’s credit rating is alphanumeric. A number ranging from 1 to 9 indicates your payment track record. A “1” means the person always pays their bills within 30 days of the due date. A “9” means the person never pays their bills. A “0” means the person has no credit history. Letters indicate the type of debt a borrower has:
I – This is an installment loan where the borrower makes fixed payments on a regular schedule until an established date. Think of a mortgage or a loan for college.
O – This is an open credit account where a balance must be repaid in full after a certain period. Certain charge cards (as opposed to credit cards) work this way.
R – This refers to revolving credit, such as credit cards, where the balance and repayment vary.
The type of debt you incur also matters to anyone reviewing your history as a borrower.
Do Married Couples Share Scores?
When two become one in marriage, their histories (and scores) do not merge. Your history is your own, and the same is true for your partner. Should you choose to open an account together or secure a loan together, lenders will review both histories. That shared account will also show up on both of your records. It’s important to discuss current debt and attitudes toward borrowing in advance.
Does Bad Credit Impact My Partner?
The good news is that having a spouse with bad credit doesn’t lower yours by marriage or association. Getting married doesn’t do anything for or against your rating. Joint debt will show up on both reports. Potential lenders will review both your and your partner’s histories if you’re applying for a loan together. If you add your partner as an authorized user to one or more accounts (or vice versa), those accounts will be a part of both histories.
Do Name Changes Impact My Score?
Taking on your spouse’s last name, hyphenating names, or choosing a new name doesn’t impact your score. It doesn’t reset your borrower history. You can initiate a name change with credit reporting bureaus by formally contacting them. Your reports may also update as you register a name change with existing accounts.
What About Disputes?
If a report shows inaccurate information, you can formally dispute it with credit reporting bureaus. This is true for individual debt and shared debt. Because your and your partner’s credit records are separate, clearing up a dispute on shared debt does not automatically clear it for both you and your partner.
Finances are a complex subject for dating, engaged, and married couples. It’s important to be up on all the facts before you and your significant other decide to make joint purchases and take on debt. Your individual credit histories can’t automatically impact your shared financial future, but they may provide critical insights sooner than later.
Engagement parties have long been a tradition that couples indulge in before getting married. However, younger Canadians have been putting a unique spin on this custom in recent years by throwing surprise engagement parties. This can be a great way to delight the happy couple and show them how much their connection means to their family and friends. Still, you need to go about the process in the right manner for it to work. Review this guide and gain more perspective on how to properly throw a surprise engagement party.
Ask the Right Preliminary Questions
Before you do anything else, you need to ask yourself a handful of questions about the couple. Namely, you must consider whether or not they will appreciate being surprised. Some people absolutely hate surprises, especially individuals who like to have a lot of control over their lives. If the couple likes to meticulously plan every detail of their routine without change, then you may want to nix the idea of surprising them. You should also consider whether the guests can keep a secret. If you’re working with people who love to gossip, you may want to consider other options.
Create the Guest-list For The Engagement Party
Next, you need to figure out who will be invited to the party. This can be a tricky step, especially if you don’t know all the people the couple would want present at the event. Since you cannot ask the couple without giving away the secret, you must work with other friends and family members to put together a succinct list. You must be very careful with who you invite, as custom dictates people who are invited to the engagement party must also be invited to the wedding. Be thorough to avoid any awkward situations for the couple.
Pick a Place
One of the more challenging aspects of planning a surprise engagement party is selecting a location. Opting for a venue like a restaurant can make it easier to figure out food and drink concerns, but it also can be more expensive and limit how many guests you can invite. The popular alternative younger Canadians have been taking advantage of in recent years is hosting the party at someone’s home. This can help to create a relaxed and welcoming environment for everyone. If you decide to use a venue, be sure to book the space at least three months in advance.
Plan Activities At Your Engagement Party
To make the event more personal, you may wish to include a variety of activities. Specifically, it can be a good idea to plan games that are centered around the couple and their relationship. For example, you can create a list of questions about the couple and have all of the guests answer them to the best of their abilities. When the answers are read aloud, it can make for a fun and hilarious experience as the couple learns who knows the most about them. Look at sites like Pinterest for more inspiration on party games.
Figure Out the Final Plan
Once you have all of the details figured out, you must create a plan for the day of the party. How are you going to get the couple to the venue without giving away the secret? Will someone be in charge of spending time with the couple beforehand so that they make it to the venue in a timely manner? You may also want to consider having guests park their vehicles away from the venue where the party is being held. This will help to keep the party a total surprise until the last possible moment.
Throw a Wonderful Engagement Party
While surprise engagement parties have become a popular trend among younger Canadians, a lot of work goes into planning such events. As long as you’re prepared to handle all the details, a surprise party can be a wonderful way to celebrate a special couple.
Guests who don’t RSVP are the bane of hosts of all kinds of parties, not just wedding receptions. Some experts estimate that up to 20% of wedding guests will RSVP no, while another 60% will RSVP yes. That leaves 20% who won’t respond at all. The reason a guest doesn’t respond isn’t important. Dealing with those non-responders is. Expect to have to call some people on your guest list to find out whether they’re attending or not. Have a plan to minimize your frustration.
Include a Grace Period
Your caterer needs a head count by a certain date. Move your RSVP deadline up about two weeks from that day. This gives you some time to track down those guests who didn’t RSVP. Put some time in your own schedule to handle the situation. You know you’re going to need to deal with non-responsive guests. Planning for it can give you breathing room.
Send Contact Reminders
About a week before the RSVP deadline, send out a reminder by email or text. This gives those folks with good intentions a chance to respond. You should get a few more responses before the deadline. It’s easy to lose track of time and forget to RSVP. Make it as easy as possible to RSVP, either through your wedding website or by responding to the reminder.
Take a Breath
As the deadline gets closer, it’s easy to feel frustrated. Weddings are serious business. Before you start pestering non-responsive guests, shake off those feelings of irritation. Yes, you’re busy and shouldn’t have to track down those guests to get the answers you need. However, your wedding day doesn’t need to be clouded by resentment by you or your guests. Your guests may have busy lives that don’t revolve around your wedding. You don’t know what they’re dealing with. Take a breath and relax.
Make Contact
You and your partner know your guests who haven’t responded. Decide how to make contact with each person on the list. Get help from your wedding party if your list is long. Start by connecting with those who have not responded. If your previous text or email went unanswered, find another way to reach out. Leave a voicemail or meet in person. This is not the time to use a group email or text. Reach out to each guest individually. Emphasize that you’re trying to get a head count for the venue or caterer.
Be Gracious
Instead of yelling at your guests who haven’t responded, take another approach. Guests who don’t respond may be dealing with more than you realize or are embarrassed for not sending in their RSVP. Start by asking if they received your invitation. If they haven’t received it, they don’t even know about the deadline. You want to be able to deal with that situation without making them feel bad.
If they have received the invitation, gently remind them of the RSVP deadline and ask about their intentions. If someone is hesitant, give them a way to bow out. There’s no need to make them feel any worse. You just need a response.
If you have to leave a voicemail, give them another 48 hours to respond. You can say that if you don’t hear from them, you’ll assume they aren’t coming. If you simply can’t get a hold of someone, it’s a pretty good assumption that they won’t attend. Should they respond later, you may just have to be firm in telling them that you won’t have food for them. Maybe they can still attend, depending on the headcount for the venue. Be prepared to handle those situations on an individual basis. Don’t stress too much over non-responsive guests.
For Canadian couples who have decided to tie the knot, the marriage ceremony is one of the most important life events. It requires careful consideration, planning, and preparation, from the day of engagement all the way to the end of the reception. Many couples also anticipate kicking off this new phase of life with a honeymoon. Similar to your wedding, your honeymoon also requires careful planning. You want to start your marriage off on a high note. Here are six things you should not do on your special getaway.
1. Going Without a Plan
Whether you envision lying on a beach somewhere in the sun or taking in the bright lights of a destination city, you need to have a plan. What do you hope to accomplish on your honeymoon? This vacation is a celebration of your union, so it’s important to schedule memorable and romantic activities to make the trip special. Planning your itinerary to the letter is going too far in the other direction, but it’s important to make time for the essential things.
2. Not Having a Budget
One of the worst experiences is going on a trip and learning that you don’t have enough money to do the things you want to do. Discovering you’ve under-budgeted for your honeymoon is quite the drag. Instead of enjoying the time together, you’ll be preoccupied with how much things cost. You shouldn’t blow your finances on a single vacation, so it’s important to choose an experience that’s appropriate for your planned budget. If you can’t afford to splurge now, enjoy a modest vacation and save your funds for a future anniversary.
3. Ignoring Rules, Regulations, and Advisories
Can you imagine arriving at a coastal destination in the middle of a hurricane? It’s unwise to book a trip without researching information about the place. There could be civil unrest that makes the desired destination an unsafe place to travel. Some countries require visitors to get certain vaccines or meet other requirements before traveling. Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to planning a vacation. Nothing ruins a honeymoon like being unable to travel.
4. OverpackingOn A Honeymoon
The last thing you or your spouse will want to do is struggle with too much luggage or bags that are stuffed with things you don’t need. Think carefully about your destination. Will you really need an evening outfit every night? Maybe you can do laundry at the resort or vacation home you’ll be staying at. What if you want to bring back souvenirs? There are weight restrictions for luggage on most airlines. Limit your bags to the essentials. Your body will appreciate it.
5. Oversharing Your Honeymoon on Social Media
Some things have to be seen (and shared) to be believed. That breathtaking sunset or main course at a Michelin star restaurant may be Instagram-worthy, but don’t spend all your time sharing every minute of your trip. Remember to be in the moment with your new spouse. You don’t want to miss what’s happening in front of you and between you because you’re posting updates to friends and followers.
6. Not Respecting the Locals and Their Culture
Wherever you go, remember to respect the locals and their customs. Even in locations that thrive on tourism, be mindful of how your actions can inadvertently affect others. What might be acceptable at home in Canada may not be so in other countries. Know before you go.
Your wedding will be one of life’s most important events. A honeymoon that’s every bit as magical as your marriage ceremony is the perfect start to life with the one you love. Keep these tips in mind as you make your plans.
When you’re getting ready to share the rest of your life with a new spouse, you’re probably focused on plans associated with the wedding and surrounding events, such as a reception or rehearsal dinner. You’re probably also looking forward to the details associated with starting a new life together, such as moving in together, buying a home or opening joint accounts. With all the preparation that goes into a new marriage, it’s important to think about life with a new spouse after the honeymoon is over. Premarital counseling is a worthwhile investment, offering these potential benefits to you, your spouse-to-be and your union.
Communicating More Effectively
Communication is a critical component of any successful relationship, especially a marriage. A lack of communication or poor dialoguing can lead to or reveal cracks in any union. You and your partner may think that you have productive conversations, but an independent observation from a therapist or counselor can alert both of you to potential issues. For example, you may be great at articulating your point of view, but not so much when it comes to hearing what your spouse is really saying. Premarital therapy can help both of you work on your skills, boosting not only the effectiveness of your conversations but conflict resolution as well.
Bridging Differences With Counseling
Despite what you might see or hear in media and entertainment, there’s no one set rule when it comes to opposites attracting. Even if you and your partner have several commonalities in background and values, the two of you will also have differences in perspective, approaches and other opinions that can be the source of marital issues. For instance, the two of you may actually have very different ideas of what life together may look like. Your idea of quality time might be enjoying a movie at home, while your spouse may prefer a date night at a nice restaurant. Small differences can develop into irreconcilable ones without the objective microscope of premarital counseling.
Counseling Together and Building Together
Whether your wedding vows explicitly mention “forsaking all others” or not, the reality is that the two of you are definitely a team. While your opposition isn’t necessarily other people, recognize that your marriage will face challenges, big and small. Remember that you committed to each other and that as a team, you can overcome anything. Pre-marriage counseling for couples can be effective at helping the two of you meet small, early challenges, making you stronger for more difficult trials later in life. No successful athletic team can win without teamwork, and this is also true for married couples.
Understanding Needs
As a couple, you each have individual needs for communication, validation and how you give and receive love. It’s important that each of you understands the other’s needs when it comes to these aspects of life together. When you’re frustrated about something, your partner may think that you need solutions, when in reality, you just need someone to listen. When your companion is upset, you may not hear directly, but you may recognize behavioral patterns. Premarital therapy gives you and your spouse-to-be the opportunity to talk openly and freely about your needs, how you communicate and how you respond to conflicts and expressions of love. Sometimes there are things that you don’t see or notice, and an objective outsider can bring this to your attention in a way that is free of judgment.
There’s a lot to look forward to when marrying the love of your life. It’s a wonderful feeling to anticipate the good times during the wedding ceremony and the honeymoon; however, there will also be external and internal challenges that you will face as a couple. Premarital counseling is a great opportunity to discuss hopes, fears and issues in an environment that is open and objective.
