Can anyone predict the right time to marry? In recent months, much has been written about the wedding boom expected to unfold this year. Waning pandemic restrictions combined with two years of pent-up demand have set the stage for an explosive year for Canada’s wedding industry. While this is certainly a cause for celebration, it comes at a time when Canadians appear to be rethinking their views on marriage altogether.
Canadian census data indicates a dramatic decline since 1996 in marriage rates among young people. Twenty years ago, nearly 40% of Canadians aged 20–29 were legally married. Since then, the marriage rate among this cohort has steadily declined. The most recent data indicates that around 1 in 5 of Canadian twenty-somethings has legally tied the knot. This data is consistent with a broader trend across the developed world. Young people are marrying later and less frequently than ever before. Economists, sociologists, and religious bodies have all voiced concerns about the trend. While alarming to some, these numbers may simply indicate a shift in perspective rather than a collapse of tradition.
The Other Side of the Story
It is easy to focus on the downtrend in legal marriage alone. However, drawing conclusions based on this alone ignores a broader narrative. The decline in married young couples is complemented by an equally dramatic rise in the number of common-law marriages. Thus, this data does not indicate the desire to forego long-term romantic partnerships entirely. Rather, it indicates young Canadians’ desire to validate their partnership on their own terms instead of through religious institutions or the state.
Cardus, a Canadian research firm, set out to gather more context on the motivations behind the demographic shifts around marriage attitudes. The study included couples who are legally married, couples who intend to marry, and long-term couples with no intention to marry. The findings were eye-opening.
Why Do We Marry?
Since marriage is a pillar of social and economic life, it can be very easy to take for granted. So easy, in fact, that seldom are couples asked about the why behind their decision. The data collected in the Cardus study posed this very question first. The participants who were legally married overwhelmingly cited “proof of love and commitment” as their primary motivation. For couples who intend to marry, “proof of love and commitment” accounted for a whopping 50% of reasoning.
This is striking because this reasoning outperformed “cultural, moral, and religious beliefs” by a 2:1 ratio. In a Western context, marriage has been socially enforced in many instances. Even among young people, there appears to be a shift in that perspective.
So Why Not Marry?
The story for long-term unmarried couples is different. However, it reflects many of the same attitudes. Nearly 65% of unmarried couples indicated that they had no intention to wed because their current arrangement was acceptable as it stood, or that they did not believe in the institution of marriage.
Considering that the couples surveyed are in long-term partnerships, it’s safe to say that they too value love and commitment. Yet they don’t feel the need to validate their love for one another through the traditional channels anymore. Many argue that this could be the pathway to more fruitful relationships between young couples.
Love and commitment are intrinsically beautiful things. For many, though, marriage as an institution can feel attached to coercive power dynamics, social status, and economic advancement. For younger couples, a “back to basics” approach appears to be developing. There seems to be a rejection of the belief that marriage is a necessary task. Rather it is an embrace of the belief that pursuing love and commitment is about spiritual fulfillment above all else. Thus, the decline in marriage rates may indicate an expansion of our understanding of marriage into something more grand than an “institution.”