An article from Religion News reminds us of the difficulties in planning weddings when two faiths are involved. The article focuses on a Muslim woman and a Baptist man getting married, both of whom wanted traditions from their own faiths in the wedding but couldn’t find an imam who would perform the ceremony. Eventually, they did find someone who did not require the groom to convert, but the journey wasn’t easy. Here are some tips to navigate an interfaith wedding if you’re a couple who is coming together from different religious backgrounds.
Take Some Time To Learn New Things
As you try to blend your two faiths into a ceremony, you need to understand the traditions. This can add time to your wedding planning, so adjust accordingly. Have lunch with your partner’s parents or grandparents and talk about their own weddings. Try to attend a wedding together in both faiths. Take a religious class of the opposite faith. Dig deeper into the faith to learn more about your partner. As you learn more about your partner’s faith, talk about what you’re learning. It’s a great opportunity to discover what is important to each other to help you as you keep planning.
Talk to a Counselor or Interfaith Guide
A third party can be a valuable resource in helping you blend two traditions. These discussions about your wedding are just the beginning. You will need to navigate many more family matters together as you have children, take care of elderly parents and celebrate holidays. A counselor who is trained in negotiating partnerships can help you find solutions that work for both of you instead of either of you feeling like you compromised.
Find an interfaith Officiant
Determining who will conduct the wedding ceremony can be difficult even if you both are the same faith. When you involve two faiths, you may face even more hurdles. Think about who can execute the wedding you want and respect both faiths. Your parents may have ideas of their own, so you want them to be comfortable, too. If you choose two officiants, you need time to work with them to make sure the ceremony flows well. If you have difficulty finding officiants from your faiths, the Universal Life Church ordains ministers who can perform the symbolic ceremony. Going this route gives you more options because you can ask a friend or family member. Still, you don’t want to wait till the last minute because you want your officiant to have time to practice.
Involve Both Families
A wedding might be your special day, but remember it’s also a big day for your parents and family. Make sure you listen to both families and involve them in the planning. Of course, there’s no way you can incorporate everything everyone wants, but you’ll build a better foundation by demonstrating that you do want to respect both traditions and faith. Your wedding sets the stage for the next phase of your life, and being understanding and respectful now goes a long way in setting the tone for after your wedding.
Adjust Your Expectations
Every relationship navigates difficult choices. It’s human nature to want things to go your way. However, this is a bit unrealistic, so you need to adapt, and you may need to negotiate a different wedding from the one you imagined. It’s okay to acknowledge disappointment, but instead of harboring resentment, come up with a solution that works for you. Keep your eyes focused on your love for each other. You’ll always have differences, but know you can work together to have the wedding that fits each of you.
