When a friend or family member asks you to be actively involved in his or her wedding, it can be a big honor. However, it isn’t all fun and games. Members of the wedding party are responsible for a number of key duties. Beyond the basic responsibilities delegated to the bridesmaids and groomsmen, the couple may also look to these individuals to help with everything from contacting vendors to purchasing decor. If you want to rise to the occasion, then there are a handful of points to keep in mind at all times.
Keep a Positive Attitude
Planning a wedding is very stressful. You are likely going to encounter times when the couple of honor act out of character. Whether the bride snaps and causes a scene while shopping for dresses or the groom keeps adding more and more demands to the list of tasks you’re responsible for, you need to do your best to keep the right mindset through it all. Staying positive and helpful is going to be the absolute best way to respond to anything that the couple throws your way.
This does not mean, of course, you should be a punching bag or a doormat. Be reasonable with how much you allow the couple to get away with. A small outburst is one thing. A continued bad attitude from the couple is something else and should be addressed.
Learn To Listen
When times get tense, most people simply need to vent their frustrations. Statistics show that couples tend to fight the most when planning for big events like weddings. What’s worse, the couple doesn’t always know how to divert this negative energy away from the relationship. As a member of the wedding party, you need to be there whenever the bride or groom is in a position where some steam needs to be let off. Helping in this way can do a lot when it comes to keeping the peace during stressful moments.
Not only do you need to listen when the bride or groom requires a shoulder to lean on, you also have to hear each request made of you. Since you are responsible for tasks like putting together the bachelor or bachelorette party, you need to listen to what your friend is asking in terms of this event. If he or she says no exotic dancers for the party, then you really want to respect the wishes and not go with what you’d prefer.
Offer Inspiration
Most members of the wedding party are selected pretty quickly after the engagement is announced. This means that you’re going to be involved in some of the preliminary decisions related to the event. If your friend is trying to come up with the right theme for the wedding, then you can do wonders by providing inspiration on decorations. Similarly, you can offer suggestions on caterers, venues, and other vendors that the couple will require as they plan.
Keep Track
The couple is going to have a ton of different things to think about at any given time. As a member of the wedding party, offer to keep track of certain details. For example, you may want to keep track all of the various gifts that are given to the couple. This will make their lives a lot easier when it comes time to send out thank-you notes down the line. Try to determine how you can be most useful and apply yourself however possible.
From providing a shoulder to lean on when times are tough to taking care of sorting out some of the finer details of the event, being a member of the wedding party can include a ton of different responsibilities. By staying open and ready for anything, you can rise to the challenge and come through for your friends.
Most people would agree that a wedding celebration is all about the couple preparing to say “I do.” But one might argue that weddings are really all about the invited guests. After all, most Canadian citizens can make things official with a visit to a municipal court. A wedding and reception provide the opportunity for those who are near and dear to witness and celebrate with the newlyweds. You’ve probably been invited to a wedding or two. Here are some tips to remind you of your obligation as a great wedding guest.
Responding Promptly
Anyone who’s planning a wedding will need an accurate headcount as soon as possible. Whether you get a handwritten card in the mail or an electronic invitation, it’s your duty to respond as quickly as possible. You may need time to confirm whether you’re available, especially if the celebration will be held at a vacation spot. Make note of an RSVP date and respond in accordance with the request. A phone call to RSVP to a mailed invitation is not a good idea. You should call only if you must change plans after confirming.
Being Punctual
Arriving fashionably late to a party may be socially acceptable, but not so for a wedding. Often a venue or certain vendors have a limited time frame for the ceremony, so it’s important for things to proceed according to schedule. Plan to get to the venue early so that you have time to figure out transportation, parking and getting to your seat. If you arrive after the ceremony has started, be mindful of how you enter a venue. You’re there to be a loving guest, not a distraction or a nuisance.
Minding the Kids
Pay careful attention to details surrounding bringing children. Some wedding plans for various reasons cannot accommodate kids, so if you’re advised not to bring them, then don’t. If you can’t make plans or don’t want to be away from children, decline the invitation. If you can bring the kids, make sure that they’re well behaved. It may be worth checking to see if other guests are bringing young children. Consider hiring a babysitter or two to supervise the tykes.
Respecting the Pros
From the clergy to the caterer, there will be several people there working to make the occasion special. Please show respect to vendors and other people who are on the job. This includes the servers, the photographer, the DJ, live musicians and even a wedding planner. If they’re not able to do their jobs, this can add stress to the couple and ruin the mood. These pros are working on behalf of the happy couple, so be agreeable and cooperative to rules and requests.
Giving Appropriately
Many couples create registries at their favorite stores, taking the guesswork out of gift-giving. If a registry has been provided, follow instructions if you can. Your loved ones have taken time to identify things that they need for this new chapter. If you cannot afford gift registry items, consider pooling funds with friends or buy a gift card to that particular store or retailer. If the spouses-to-be have requested donations to a charity or funds for a honeymoon, give accordingly.
Getting invited to witness two become one is an honor. This is a special moment in two people’s lives, and it’s important to them that you are there to help celebrate. You don’t need a degree or certificate in partying to be a great wedding guest. If you’re not actually in the wedding party or in the program, there’s not much more for you to do beyond showing up; however, being a great wedding guest helps contribute to a great day for the newlyweds.
To be a great wedding guest, make sure that you are polite and courteous.
April showers bring May flowers, but for brides, April showers bring June flowers. Summer is a popular time for weddings, so you might start getting invitations from your friends who are getting married. To survive wedding season, be the best wedding guest you can. Here are a few tips to help you:
RSVP by the date requested. Do not put the invitation aside for a few days, because you’ll forget. Don’t make the couple track you down for an answer.
Look at the invitation to see who was invited. Do not invite anyone yourself. If your children aren’t mentioned on the envelope, they are not invited to the wedding. It is customary to invite partners, but if you aren’t married or in a long-term relationship, you may have to go single.
Show up if you RSVP “yes.” Barring an emergency, don’t change plans at the last minute. The caterer will charge the couple for your plate, whether you show up or not.
Do not talk about the wedding with friends who may not have been invited. This means on social media too. You don’t want to come off as boasting or make others feel bad because they were not invited.
Be on time for the ceremony. Better yet, be there 10 to 15 minutes early to get the lay of the land. When you arrive late, you disrupt the flow of the ceremony. If you do arrive late, wait for a break in the action to sneak in.
Dress appropriately. If the invitation says “semi-formal,” don’t wear jeans. For a beach wedding, dress more casually. Don’t wear white.
Put your phone on silent during the ceremony. Let your babysitter know your phone will be off for a half-hour to forty-five minutes and promise to check immediately after.
Don’t take pictures during the ceremony. Respect the wedding photographer.
Ask the couple if you can share pictures on social media before you do.
Send the gift, if you do, to the home of the bride or groom. Don’t make them deal with more stuff at the reception.
During the reception, sit where the bride and groom have placed you. Make conversation with those around you. It’s only for a couple of hours. Your phone will wait.
What About the Rights of a Wedding Guest?
Wedding guests also have rights that come with their invitation:
You can expect to receive an invitation if you received a save-the-date card.
You have the right to decline the invitation if you cannot attend. No explanation needed, just say, “Thank you, I’d love to be there, but I can’t.”
You can ask the couple if you need clarification about your invitation. Maybe you want to make sure you understand the dress code or are confused about the plus one.
You have a right to not send a gift at all. You also have up to a year to send a wedding gift.
If you do send a gift, you have a right to expect a timely thank-you note. You might want to give the couple a few weeks after the wedding to wrap up all their duties, but if you don’t receive a thank-you note within three months, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask if they received your gift.
You should take advantage of the open bar, but don’t overdo it.
Have a Good Time
A wedding is a celebration, and you should have a good time. Thank the host and hostess, typically the bride’s parents, before you leave. Don’t be offended if you don’t get a few minutes with the bride and groom. One of the best things you can do as a wedding guest is to be flexible and gracious, no matter what happens at the ceremony or reception.
A couple making a heart because they love saving money by breaking all of the wedding rules.
The demographics of brides and grooms are changing. Traditionally, the bride’s parents paid for most of the expenses of a ceremony, but according to the Association of Bridal Consultants, only about 10 percent of weddings now are paid in full by the bride’s parents. People are waiting longer to get married too. The average age of brides is 27 and for grooms, the age is 29. This allows people to be more established in a career and foot the bill for their own nuptials. With the average cost of a wedding approaching more than $32,000, one way to save money is to break some rules.
Plan the Date Carefully
While many brides dream of a summer wedding, holding the date off-season can be very economical. Another way to save substantially is to hold the wedding on a weekday instead of Saturday. Technically, there’s no rule that says you have to get married on a Saturday, it is just more convenient for those who have to work.
Watch Your Guest List
There is a rule that you shouldn’t invite someone to the reception who hasn’t been invited to the ceremony. You don’t want to break that rule. It could appear that you are being greedy. However, there are ways to cut some corners when it comes to the number of people you’re inviting. Shorten the guest list. Less guests means less tables, so you cut costs by not having to rent linens, chairs, or flatware, and by not having to provide centerpieces.
Do You Have to Wear White?
White wedding dresses were made popular in the 18th century when Queen Victoria chose to wear white for her marriage ceremony, but in one survey almost half of people feel that a white dress is on its way out. The wedding dress can be one of the biggest line items, so it makes sense to really get the dress you want to wear. The grooms don’t necessarily need to wear a tux either. For a summer wedding, a nice vest and shirt might be formal enough without being too hot. Just because it’s always been done one way, doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it.
Choosing the Venue
Just a few weeks ago, we wrote about the reduced costs of a wedding in Windsor. Choosing to hold your ceremony in a larger city such as Montreal or Vancouver can significantly increase the costs of your nuptials. Look for different venues that have the space you want without having the demand of multiple brides. You might be surprised at the cost difference, which could help you have more money for other items that are more important.
Watch Your Bottom Line
Every good entrepreneur knows that every item in the business budget counts. Think like a business owner instead of a bride when you’re having to watch your finances. Go through every item and see exactly where you want to cut costs. If the photography is a priority, then don’t make a trade-off in that category. Maybe you have a friend who can drive you to the wedding instead of hiring a limo. Instead of having a full sit-down meal, could you have an afternoon wedding with cake and punch or a buffet service?
What Is Your Wedding About?
Every bride and groom wants their wedding to be memorable. Sure, the decorations, flowers, and reception are important to making those memories, but keep in mind that the real matter of the day is the vows. It’s about making a commitment to each other to live together for the rest of your life. The rest of the stuff is just that. Don’t be afraid to break some rules about your wedding. Remember what’s important. Be a good host. Rock your vows. Enjoy your day without wondering how you’ll ever pay for it.
When a friend or family member asks you to be actively involved in his or her wedding, it can be a big honor. However, it isn’t all fun and games. Members of the wedding party are responsible for a number of key duties. Beyond the basic responsibilities delegated to the bridesmaids and groomsmen, the couple may also look to these individuals to help with everything from contacting vendors to purchasing decor. If you want to rise to the occasion, then there are a handful of points to keep in mind at all times.
Keep a Positive Attitude
Planning a wedding is very stressful. You are likely going to encounter times when the couple of honor act out of character. Whether the bride snaps and causes a scene while shopping for dresses or the groom keeps adding more and more demands to the list of tasks you’re responsible for, you need to do your best to keep the right mindset through it all. Staying positive and helpful is going to be the absolute best way to respond to anything that the couple throws your way.
This does not mean, of course, you should be a punching bag or a doormat. Be reasonable with how much you allow the couple to get away with. A small outburst is one thing. A continued bad attitude from the couple is something else and should be addressed.
Learn To Listen
When times get tense, most people simply need to vent their frustrations. Statistics show that couples tend to fight the most when planning for big events like weddings. What’s worse, the couple doesn’t always know how to divert this negative energy away from the relationship. As a member of the wedding party, you need to be there whenever the bride or groom is in a position where some steam needs to be let off. Helping in this way can do a lot when it comes to keeping the peace during stressful moments.
Not only do you need to listen when the bride or groom requires a shoulder to lean on, you also have to hear each request made of you. Since you are responsible for tasks like putting together the bachelor or bachelorette party, you need to listen to what your friend is asking in terms of this event. If he or she says no exotic dancers for the party, then you really want to respect the wishes and not go with what you’d prefer.
Offer Inspiration
Most members of the wedding party are selected pretty quickly after the engagement is announced. This means that you’re going to be involved in some of the preliminary decisions related to the event. If your friend is trying to come up with the right theme for the wedding, then you can do wonders by providing inspiration on decorations. Similarly, you can offer suggestions on caterers, venues, and other vendors that the couple will require as they plan.
Keep Track
The couple is going to have a ton of different things to think about at any given time. As a member of the wedding party, offer to keep track of certain details. For example, you may want to keep track all of the various gifts that are given to the couple. This will make their lives a lot easier when it comes time to send out thank-you notes down the line. Try to determine how you can be most useful and apply yourself however possible.
From providing a shoulder to lean on when times are tough to taking care of sorting out some of the finer details of the event, being a member of the wedding party can include a ton of different responsibilities. By staying open and ready for anything, you can rise to the challenge and come through for your friends.
Most people would agree that a wedding celebration is all about the couple preparing to say “I do.” But one might argue that weddings are really all about the invited guests. After all, most Canadian citizens can make things official with a visit to a municipal court. A wedding and reception provide the opportunity for those who are near and dear to witness and celebrate with the newlyweds. You’ve probably been invited to a wedding or two. Here are some tips to remind you of your obligation as a great wedding guest.
Responding Promptly
Anyone who’s planning a wedding will need an accurate headcount as soon as possible. Whether you get a handwritten card in the mail or an electronic invitation, it’s your duty to respond as quickly as possible. You may need time to confirm whether you’re available, especially if the celebration will be held at a vacation spot. Make note of an RSVP date and respond in accordance with the request. A phone call to RSVP to a mailed invitation is not a good idea. You should call only if you must change plans after confirming.
Being Punctual
Arriving fashionably late to a party may be socially acceptable, but not so for a wedding. Often a venue or certain vendors have a limited time frame for the ceremony, so it’s important for things to proceed according to schedule. Plan to get to the venue early so that you have time to figure out transportation, parking and getting to your seat. If you arrive after the ceremony has started, be mindful of how you enter a venue. You’re there to be a loving guest, not a distraction or a nuisance.
Minding the Kids
Pay careful attention to details surrounding bringing children. Some wedding plans for various reasons cannot accommodate kids, so if you’re advised not to bring them, then don’t. If you can’t make plans or don’t want to be away from children, decline the invitation. If you can bring the kids, make sure that they’re well behaved. It may be worth checking to see if other guests are bringing young children. Consider hiring a babysitter or two to supervise the tykes.
Respecting the Pros
From the clergy to the caterer, there will be several people there working to make the occasion special. Please show respect to vendors and other people who are on the job. This includes the servers, the photographer, the DJ, live musicians and even a wedding planner. If they’re not able to do their jobs, this can add stress to the couple and ruin the mood. These pros are working on behalf of the happy couple, so be agreeable and cooperative to rules and requests.
Giving Appropriately
Many couples create registries at their favorite stores, taking the guesswork out of gift-giving. If a registry has been provided, follow instructions if you can. Your loved ones have taken time to identify things that they need for this new chapter. If you cannot afford gift registry items, consider pooling funds with friends or buy a gift card to that particular store or retailer. If the spouses-to-be have requested donations to a charity or funds for a honeymoon, give accordingly.
Getting invited to witness two become one is an honor. This is a special moment in two people’s lives, and it’s important to them that you are there to help celebrate. You don’t need a degree or certificate in partying to be a great wedding guest. If you’re not actually in the wedding party or in the program, there’s not much more for you to do beyond showing up; however, being a great wedding guest helps contribute to a great day for the newlyweds.
To be a great wedding guest, make sure that you are polite and courteous.
April showers bring May flowers, but for brides, April showers bring June flowers. Summer is a popular time for weddings, so you might start getting invitations from your friends who are getting married. To survive wedding season, be the best wedding guest you can. Here are a few tips to help you:
RSVP by the date requested. Do not put the invitation aside for a few days, because you’ll forget. Don’t make the couple track you down for an answer.
Look at the invitation to see who was invited. Do not invite anyone yourself. If your children aren’t mentioned on the envelope, they are not invited to the wedding. It is customary to invite partners, but if you aren’t married or in a long-term relationship, you may have to go single.
Show up if you RSVP “yes.” Barring an emergency, don’t change plans at the last minute. The caterer will charge the couple for your plate, whether you show up or not.
Do not talk about the wedding with friends who may not have been invited. This means on social media too. You don’t want to come off as boasting or make others feel bad because they were not invited.
Be on time for the ceremony. Better yet, be there 10 to 15 minutes early to get the lay of the land. When you arrive late, you disrupt the flow of the ceremony. If you do arrive late, wait for a break in the action to sneak in.
Dress appropriately. If the invitation says “semi-formal,” don’t wear jeans. For a beach wedding, dress more casually. Don’t wear white.
Put your phone on silent during the ceremony. Let your babysitter know your phone will be off for a half-hour to forty-five minutes and promise to check immediately after.
Don’t take pictures during the ceremony. Respect the wedding photographer.
Ask the couple if you can share pictures on social media before you do.
Send the gift, if you do, to the home of the bride or groom. Don’t make them deal with more stuff at the reception.
During the reception, sit where the bride and groom have placed you. Make conversation with those around you. It’s only for a couple of hours. Your phone will wait.
What About the Rights of a Wedding Guest?
Wedding guests also have rights that come with their invitation:
You can expect to receive an invitation if you received a save-the-date card.
You have the right to decline the invitation if you cannot attend. No explanation needed, just say, “Thank you, I’d love to be there, but I can’t.”
You can ask the couple if you need clarification about your invitation. Maybe you want to make sure you understand the dress code or are confused about the plus one.
You have a right to not send a gift at all. You also have up to a year to send a wedding gift.
If you do send a gift, you have a right to expect a timely thank-you note. You might want to give the couple a few weeks after the wedding to wrap up all their duties, but if you don’t receive a thank-you note within three months, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask if they received your gift.
You should take advantage of the open bar, but don’t overdo it.
Have a Good Time
A wedding is a celebration, and you should have a good time. Thank the host and hostess, typically the bride’s parents, before you leave. Don’t be offended if you don’t get a few minutes with the bride and groom. One of the best things you can do as a wedding guest is to be flexible and gracious, no matter what happens at the ceremony or reception.
A couple making a heart because they love saving money by breaking all of the wedding rules.
The demographics of brides and grooms are changing. Traditionally, the bride’s parents paid for most of the expenses of a ceremony, but according to the Association of Bridal Consultants, only about 10 percent of weddings now are paid in full by the bride’s parents. People are waiting longer to get married too. The average age of brides is 27 and for grooms, the age is 29. This allows people to be more established in a career and foot the bill for their own nuptials. With the average cost of a wedding approaching more than $32,000, one way to save money is to break some rules.
Plan the Date Carefully
While many brides dream of a summer wedding, holding the date off-season can be very economical. Another way to save substantially is to hold the wedding on a weekday instead of Saturday. Technically, there’s no rule that says you have to get married on a Saturday, it is just more convenient for those who have to work.
Watch Your Guest List
There is a rule that you shouldn’t invite someone to the reception who hasn’t been invited to the ceremony. You don’t want to break that rule. It could appear that you are being greedy. However, there are ways to cut some corners when it comes to the number of people you’re inviting. Shorten the guest list. Less guests means less tables, so you cut costs by not having to rent linens, chairs, or flatware, and by not having to provide centerpieces.
Do You Have to Wear White?
White wedding dresses were made popular in the 18th century when Queen Victoria chose to wear white for her marriage ceremony, but in one survey almost half of people feel that a white dress is on its way out. The wedding dress can be one of the biggest line items, so it makes sense to really get the dress you want to wear. The grooms don’t necessarily need to wear a tux either. For a summer wedding, a nice vest and shirt might be formal enough without being too hot. Just because it’s always been done one way, doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it.
Choosing the Venue
Just a few weeks ago, we wrote about the reduced costs of a wedding in Windsor. Choosing to hold your ceremony in a larger city such as Montreal or Vancouver can significantly increase the costs of your nuptials. Look for different venues that have the space you want without having the demand of multiple brides. You might be surprised at the cost difference, which could help you have more money for other items that are more important.
Watch Your Bottom Line
Every good entrepreneur knows that every item in the business budget counts. Think like a business owner instead of a bride when you’re having to watch your finances. Go through every item and see exactly where you want to cut costs. If the photography is a priority, then don’t make a trade-off in that category. Maybe you have a friend who can drive you to the wedding instead of hiring a limo. Instead of having a full sit-down meal, could you have an afternoon wedding with cake and punch or a buffet service?
What Is Your Wedding About?
Every bride and groom wants their wedding to be memorable. Sure, the decorations, flowers, and reception are important to making those memories, but keep in mind that the real matter of the day is the vows. It’s about making a commitment to each other to live together for the rest of your life. The rest of the stuff is just that. Don’t be afraid to break some rules about your wedding. Remember what’s important. Be a good host. Rock your vows. Enjoy your day without wondering how you’ll ever pay for it.
