It is a privilege to be asked to give a wedding toast. The honor can also be scary; many people get uncomfortable speaking in front of an audience. Never fear – there are a number of things you can to do to prepare for your moment in the spotlight.

Don’t Wing Your Wedding Toast

Even accomplished public speakers shouldn’t try to speak off-the-cuff. A wedding toast is important. You don’t want to come across as putting zero thought into it or end up fumbling around for something meaningful to say. Advance preparation can also help build self-confidence.

You may want to start off with a “top 10” list or a romantic line from a popular song as a warm-up. This may settle your nerves, get any frogs out of your throat, and give guests an opportunity to quiet down before you launch into the more personal part of the toast.

Try Not to Use Notecards

While preparation is essential, try not to read things directly off index cards or a piece of paper. Practice what you plan to say out loud ahead of time. Reciting your speech to a mirror or a small group of friends who are not attending the wedding may be helpful. Do it more than once. This will help identify the spots where you may stumble over your words and give you time to work through them.

Comedy Can Be Dangerous

Unless you are a skilled stand-up comedian (and even then tread carefully), think twice about trying to incorporate jokes into your toast. Being funny is largely contingent on content and timing, and both can be tricky. If things fall flat, it can really throw you off. Humor can also be misunderstood and sound mean; remember, you are toasting the couple and not roasting them.

Watch the Alcohol Beforehand

If having a drink helps calm your nerves, go ahead. However, you don’t want to overdo it and end up looking foolish. Remember that your words will probably be recorded, live on for all eternity, and may be posted on Facebook for the entire world to see.

Be Brief

Many etiquette experts say 5 to 10 minutes is the ideal length for a wedding toast. A really short one can seem insincere, and something too long becomes painful for the audience.

Speak to the Audience

Rather than locking eyes with the newlyweds the entire time, look out into the audience. Keeping constant visual contact with the subjects of your remarks may make them (or you) uncomfortable. If they begin to appear unhappy, you may become concerned and distracted. It can be easy to misinterpret expressions. For example, the bride may look disgruntled because her heels are really starting to hurt her feet, not because she doesn’t like what you are saying.

Don’t Fidget

Another tip is to try not to fidget. Sometimes people aren’t even aware they are doing it. Toasters are in luck because they get to hold a glass, which solves the problem of what to do with your hands. Feel free to walk around a little if it puts you more at ease than standing still.

Subjects to Skip

Some things are best left unsaid. You don’t want to make a bad impression or make anyone feel uncomfortable.

• Tales about ex-girlfriends or boyfriends – keep the past in the past
• Anything raunchy or mean-spirited
• Lengthy stories – no matter how well you may know the story, it may be difficult for guests to follow what you are saying
• Making it sound like your friend has died now that he or she is married
• Don’t put anyone on the spot – no one likes this

Toasting the newly married couple is often one of the highlights of the wedding reception. These tips can assist you in crafting the perfect speech.