Flipping the Script on Proposing: Tips for the Woman Looking To Pop the Question
Gender roles often seem quite peculiar in modern life. When it comes to weddings, there are dozens upon dozens of tasks associated with the groom and the bride. More often than not, these responsibilities have nothing to do with a person’s actual abilities and more about antiquated notions surrounding customs. Proposing, for example, has long been a job thrust upon men. Naturally, this responsibility creates confusion in LGBT relationships and most modern heterosexual romances where the man and woman play equal parts. While there’s nothing unusual about a woman popping the question, there are questions that might need answering.
Know How To Take Charge
Like many marital customs, the task of proposing typically fell on men because women were frequently forced into passive roles in a marriage. Though these old notions have fallen away for the most part, the rituals live on as relics of these bygone times. Men nowadays will take on the task of proposing simply because it is expected. However, there are countless couples who have opted to flip the script. No matter what you want from your relationship, taking charge and proposing should always come from a place of love and involve a lot of communication.
If you know your partner is not ready to get hitched and you decide to surprise him with a sudden proposal at a public event, you could be sowing the seeds of your relationship’s destruction. Talking about the idea of marriage before making any concrete decisions is the best way to maintain a healthy connection with your partner.
Think About What You Both Want
By design, romantic relationships are fraught with complicated questions and time-sensitive decisions. With a potential engagement, you need to sit with your own thoughts and consider the future. Are you ready for this level of commitment, or are you simply caught up in the intoxication love can bring? Outside of your own feelings, you must talk openly with your partner about what he or she desires. Again, deciding to put your significant other on the spot without consulting about future goals can be a disaster.
Consider the Ego Factor
Even men with open minds fall prey to bruised egos from time to time. While your partner might be open to every aspect of gender equality, he still could feel slighted if you decide to pop the question. This is another reason why a preliminary discussion can be beneficial. Your partner shouldn’t allow himself to be overcome with petty emotions, but it can save yourself a headache to talk about his stance on the matter early. You know your partner better than anyone, so you should be able to figure out an appropriate way to approach the topic.
Determine the “How”
Once you feel confident that proposing is the right choice, you can tackle the “how” of it all. This is a fun task, as you can start to get as creative or personal as you’d like. The future of your relationship begins when you get down on a proverbial knee, so consider what setting and tone make sense for your love story. From isolated beach settings to surprise parties with family and friends, there are endless locations to explore.
Remove Proposing Perfection
Taking on the task of proposing can put a lot of pressure on you. In the age of Instagram and Pinterest, it is easy to get caught up in the notion that your engagement needs to be worthy of sharing on social sites. Though it might be stressful, remember that you don’t need to make the moment perfect for anyone other than you and your partner.
Though popping the question has long been viewed as a man’s job, modern relationships often ditch these old roles for more progressive options. Figure out what works best for your partner and you to come up with a plan that satisfies you both.
2020 Wedding Trends To Inspire Your Big Day
Many couples are still planning to tie the knot this year despite COVID-19, so take a look at these 2020 wedding trends to inspire your big day.
According to national statistics, more than 150,000 weddings take place each year in Canada. While this might seem like a lot, nations like the United States see close to 2.4 million in the same time period, though obviously COVID-19 has thrown a wrench in many couples’ plans. With so many couples normally tying the knot on an annual basis, it comes as no surprise that wedding trends come and go quickly. If you want to stay on top of the latest fads sweeping the world of nuptials, note that there are some interesting options on the horizon. Consider these 2020 wedding trends to inspire your own big day.
Experts in the jewelry industry have noted a number of significant shifts in how couples have been purchasing wedding rings over the last few years. While it was once commonplace for one person in the relationship to select the engagement ring, for example, it is now typical for the couple to make this selection together. This is largely due to the decline in popularity of the “surprise proposal.” Couples more often want to feel prepared to tackle marriage and will come to the decision together.
When choosing your wedding band, note that a popular option at the moment is to opt for yellow gold instead of platinum. Many people are also turning away from generic rings in the search for unique pieces that have interesting histories. This has led to many jewelers offering customized options instead of the standard cuts and settings.
The world has been through some rough predicaments in recent years, including the current pandemic. From catastrophic fires in Southern California and Australia to massive garbage islands floating in the oceans, more people than ever are concerned with how their choices impact the global environment. Weddings are no exception to these concerns, and among the wedding trends popular now is the idea of the eco-friendly event. There are a number of ways people are going about this, including using recycled paper for invitations, going plastic-free for the reception, or working with caterers to eliminate food waste.
Wedding trends this year also include what floral arrangements couples are investing in. So far, florists have stated that 2020 is unique because it is all about local options. Instead of preferring a specific type of blossom, couples are more likely to work with gardens and flower shops in their communities to discover what’s in season. Outdoor weddings have also become very fashionable, especially to maximize social distance and reduce the risk of COVID-19, with a number of couples deciding against flowers altogether to allow the natural scenery to shine through. If you’re on a tight budget, these floral trends can be a great way to save money on your event.
A Piece of Cake
Cake preferences also tend to change from one year to the next. In 2020, a number of wedding planners are reporting that couples are switching away from the idea of having a single cake as the crowning dessert piece. Instead, it is more common for a wedding to feature a number of smaller confections. Not only does this add some nice variety to the event, it also provides couples with the chance to offer dessert options to individuals with dietary restrictions or severe allergies. Last but not least, it minimizes the likelihood of food contamination during the age of COVID-19.
Social Media Influence
The growing popularity of social media has also had an impact on wedding trends in 2020. Plenty of couples fall under the spell of influencers and the illusion of perfection created through Instagram. Using sites like Pinterest can also be a useful way to feel inspired and discover some clever DIY ideas. Whether you use it sparingly or go all out to copy a particular style, social media can definitely prove invaluable while planning.
Staying abreast of the latest trends can be useful when planning a wedding. Understanding the biggest fads helps you understand what you like and what you don’t want involved in your big day.
Is Your Engagement Ring Worth More Debt?
Engagements rings are a long-held matrimonial tradition. However, it’s worth considering a few key factors before you drop any cash on an engagement ring.
How much do Canadian couples spend on engagement rings? According to a March 2016 Global News article, the average cost for each one is around $4,700. After including the typical event and honeymoon costs, the total price tag for a wedding can reach almost $40,000. Cutting expenses can be challenging for couples who want to tie the knot. That’s why it’s worth considering a few key factors before you drop any cash on an engagement ring.
Behind the Engagement Ring “Rules”
You may have heard of the supposed “rules” for buying engagement rings. Depending on who you ask, the ring should cost either two or three times one’s monthly salary. Statistics Canada’s 2017 figures revealed that the average weekly salary is around $986. That means the typical Canadian earns almost $4,000 per month before deductions. With these figures, following the oft-repeated rule on rings results in a price tag between $8,000 and $12,000.
How did these modern engagement ring purchasing practices develop? Money Under 30’s David Weliver divulges that they originated with a shrewd marketing campaign launched by the London-based diamond company De Beers. He also contends that they aren’t practical for younger couples because of typical debt burdens and lower salaries. To lower costs, he suggests a few alternatives:
- Pay for the ring with cash.
- Select a family heirloom piece.
- Choose gemstones that are less expensive than diamonds.
Pros and Cons of Financing Your Ring
If there’s no room in your budget to purchase an engagement ring in full, you may be tempted to finance it. Your credit history will determine the types of offers you receive along with spending limits and interest rates. Individuals with favorable credit can choose from many options:
- Personal loans
- Vendor’s credit cards or revolving credit lines
- Major credit cards issued by financial institutions
At the same time, you’ll need to think about how this new debt will impact your upcoming marriage. NerdWallet’s Erin El Issa points out that each spouse is liable for individually incurred debts. This is true regardless of whether they originated before or after the wedding. Yet those debts still affect the couple’s overall financial health. A significant debt load can make it difficult to purchase a home together, contribute to a savings account, or plan for retirement.
In another Money Under 30 article, David Weliver offers suggestions for people desiring to purchase engagement rings on credit. While he still warns readers not to buy rings that they cannot afford, he discusses some favorable financing options. Some jewelry retailers may offer 0 percent financing or no interest and payments for a predetermined time period. Weliver strongly suggests reviewing each offer’s terms. With some, you’ll pay a much higher interest rate after the promotional period expires.
Depending on your credit score, you may qualify for cards that come with 0 percent interest on new purchases for up to one year. Be sure you know what your new APR will be. Also, you should assess whether you can pay off the ring before the promotion ends. Purchase your ring from a reliable online jeweler. Buying online could save you a significant amount of money, letting you spend as little as 50 percent of the brick-and-mortar retailer price. Make sure you request a shipment method with tracking and a signature requirement as well as insurance to cover the ring itself.
Choose Your Credit Options Carefully
In the past, society judged a man’s ability to provide for his future wife by the type of engagement ring he gave her. It’s true that some still take notice at an elaborate ring with a decent-sized diamond. Ultimately, you must consider the effects of purchasing one either with cash or credit. After all, part of your goal should be making smart decisions for your joint financial future.
Ditch Diamond Rings With These Significant Stones
When selecting an engagement ring, there are many other beautiful stones to consider besides the traditional diamond ring.
For years, diamonds have remained the most popular stones when it comes to engagement rings. It’s easy to see why. The dazzling beauty of a diamond can be difficult to match. Still, these rocks are ridiculously expensive and the ways that they are acquired are not always ethical. If you feel weird about “blood diamonds” or just don’t find this particular stone to be aesthetically pleasant, you might feel like you don’t know what to do when it comes time to select the right engagement ring for your significant other.
Though it can feel like diamond engagement rings are the only path to take, you might find comfort in the fact that other stones have been increasing in popularity in recent years. Give yourself a moment to explore some of these alternatives, and see if you can land on a ring option that holds significance and keeps your conscience clear.
Diamonds might be “forever,” but there are plenty of happy couples who are more interested in the bluish hue of the sapphire. In fact, those interested in following royal weddings might already be aware of this fact. The engagement rings for Princess Diana and Kate Middleton were both made from blue sapphires. You don’t need to be involved with royalty to opt for sapphires, either. The ring holds personal significance to people born in September, as it is the month’s birthstone, and it also is said to contain other mystical properties.
Since the days of the Persian Empire, sapphires have been thought to hold magical significance. The Persians believed sapphires were the reason the sky was blue and felt that the color connection symbolized the stone’s deep ties to heaven. By wearing a ring made of sapphire, a person was said to have a special place waiting for them in heaven. Whether you find the lore appealing or you think the stone is just beautiful, you might find sapphires a better fit than diamonds for your personal wedding goals.
Sapphires might be beautiful, but their color may not be for you. If you want something that steps away and makes a bolder statement, emeralds might be a good fit for your ring. These dazzling green stones are as beautiful to look at as they are to learn about. According to a number of cultural beliefs, emeralds are worn by those who have a deeper understanding of the world. Individuals who are born with intuitive abilities are usually drawn to emeralds, as these stones are said to contain prophetic powers.
Whether or not you have visions of the future, an emerald stone might be an ideal fit for your engagement ring needs. The beautiful, green shade of the stone can be a nice change of pace from traditional whites and blues. Beyond this, the idea that the stone is meant for those with “great vision” can be interpreted in a number of romantic ways.
Finally, to go to an even more interesting extreme, you may want to think about an engagement ring set with a ruby. A huge contrast to the white of a diamond, the red of a ruby can signify deep passion. Red is a bold color that most people will notice right away. By opting for a ring with this beautiful stone front and center, you are sending a message of deep, unyielding love to anyone who notices it.
When selecting an engagement ring, it is important to remember that diamonds are not the only stone worth your time. Explore all of your options with stones, and you are likely to find a winning fit that matches you and your significant other and the bonds you share.
Canadian Couple Plans Unforgettable Wedding Proposal
Getting engaged is one of life’s most important milestones. Some people prefer to go the more traditional route of popping the question during a romantic dinner or on Valentine’s Day. Others want to do something totally unique and over-the-top for their proposal. Yannick Martin of Blainville, Quebec opted for a unique engagement idea when he asked his girlfriend to marry him in January.
A Silver Screen Proposal
Berenice Lejars was not expecting anything out of the ordinary when she agreed to a movie date with her boyfriend, Yannick Martin, but he had other ideas in store. Martin, with the help of friends, had made an elaborate animated movie trailer in which he asked Berenice to marry him. He located a theatre in St-Eustache that was willing to play it before the feature film. Right before the trailer began, Martin pretended he needed to answer an important call and left the theatre. A surprised and slightly confused Berenice watched the trailer by herself. At the end, the animated character Yannick proposed to the animated Berenice. When the trailer was over, the real Yannick returned to the movie theatre and proposed in person on bended knee, with a lovely ring, before the theatre audience. Berenice said “yes” and the happy couple did not stay for the movie. Click here to watch the trailer and live proposal (YouTube Link).
Other Creative Ways to Propose
While following Yannick’s footsteps may not exactly be your style, there are many other ways to do it:
Proposing somewhere like an iconic landmark, beach or foreign country can make the occasion all the more memorable. Some places to consider (if you want to spend the money) include the top of the Eiffel Tower, overlooking the Grand Lagoon in Venice, a private capsule in the London Eye carousel or the Taj Mahal.
In heterosexual relationships, it is customary for men to propose to women. In this day and age, it is not necessary to adhere to this tradition. If you go this route, it will make a great story later.
One way to help ensure your proposal is extraordinary is to buy a ring like no other. Diamonds have been the de rigueur stones of choice for engagement rings for many years. However, colored gemstones are much rarer. They can also be very costly, so be sure to confirm the return policy in case your beloved has different ideas on engagement rings.
If you want to plan an unusual marriage proposal but don’t think you can pull it off yourself, you can always hire professional help. Many wedding planners will plan your proposal as well your wedding.
Advice For Popping the Question
If you are hard at working trying to plan the logistics of the perfect proposal, here are a few tips to keep in mind for when you actually pop the question. This one event will stick in the mind of your future spouse forever. It needs to be good because you can’t do it over.
- Know the Answer in Advance
It is not advisable to propose marriage unless you are certain you will get the answer you want to hear.
- Think Twice About Doing It in Public
Even if you are certain your will get a “yes” when you pop the question, public proposals can be very awkward unless the participants are comfortable in this type of setting.
You don’t have to spend a fortune or travel to an exotic destination, but it is important that your proposal be romantic. An intimate candlelit picnic may be the perfect choice.
Yannick Martin was certainly innovative when he asked his girlfriend to marry him. It was a very personal proposal and his future wife will never forget it.