When you’re getting ready to share the rest of your life with a new spouse, you’re probably focused on plans associated with the wedding and surrounding events, such as a reception or rehearsal dinner. You’re probably also looking forward to the details associated with starting a new life together, such as moving in together, buying a home or opening joint accounts. With all the preparation that goes into a new marriage, it’s important to think about life with a new spouse after the honeymoon is over. Premarital counseling is a worthwhile investment, offering these potential benefits to you, your spouse-to-be and your union.
Communicating More Effectively
Communication is a critical component of any successful relationship, especially a marriage. A lack of communication or poor dialoguing can lead to or reveal cracks in any union. You and your partner may think that you have productive conversations, but an independent observation from a therapist or counselor can alert both of you to potential issues. For example, you may be great at articulating your point of view, but not so much when it comes to hearing what your spouse is really saying. Premarital therapy can help both of you work on your skills, boosting not only the effectiveness of your conversations but conflict resolution as well.
Bridging Differences With Counseling
Despite what you might see or hear in media and entertainment, there’s no one set rule when it comes to opposites attracting. Even if you and your partner have several commonalities in background and values, the two of you will also have differences in perspective, approaches and other opinions that can be the source of marital issues. For instance, the two of you may actually have very different ideas of what life together may look like. Your idea of quality time might be enjoying a movie at home, while your spouse may prefer a date night at a nice restaurant. Small differences can develop into irreconcilable ones without the objective microscope of premarital counseling.
Counseling Together and Building Together
Whether your wedding vows explicitly mention “forsaking all others” or not, the reality is that the two of you are definitely a team. While your opposition isn’t necessarily other people, recognize that your marriage will face challenges, big and small. Remember that you committed to each other and that as a team, you can overcome anything. Pre-marriage counseling for couples can be effective at helping the two of you meet small, early challenges, making you stronger for more difficult trials later in life. No successful athletic team can win without teamwork, and this is also true for married couples.
Understanding Needs
As a couple, you each have individual needs for communication, validation and how you give and receive love. It’s important that each of you understands the other’s needs when it comes to these aspects of life together. When you’re frustrated about something, your partner may think that you need solutions, when in reality, you just need someone to listen. When your companion is upset, you may not hear directly, but you may recognize behavioral patterns. Premarital therapy gives you and your spouse-to-be the opportunity to talk openly and freely about your needs, how you communicate and how you respond to conflicts and expressions of love. Sometimes there are things that you don’t see or notice, and an objective outsider can bring this to your attention in a way that is free of judgment.
There’s a lot to look forward to when marrying the love of your life. It’s a wonderful feeling to anticipate the good times during the wedding ceremony and the honeymoon; however, there will also be external and internal challenges that you will face as a couple. Premarital counseling is a great opportunity to discuss hopes, fears and issues in an environment that is open and objective.
