cancelled wedding

Disappointment of a Cancelled Wedding Celebration

Many were left in disappointment and saying that the coronavirus pandemic has changed Canadian life as we know it is the understatement of the year. From our daily routines to major events, almost no aspect of our lives has remained untouched by the pandemic. While many couples have found ways to tie the knot through virtual weddings or scaled-back events, some have postponed their plans. Other have postponed multiple times, leading them to cancel their planned celebrations altogether. Having to cancel a wedding celebration is not an easy thing to do. Here are some ideas for managing your feelings.

It’s OK To Cancel

One of the first things to remember is that it’s ok to call off the wedding celebration. First of all, it’s usually the safest option. While you had your heart set on starting the next phase of your life surrounded by loved ones, public gatherings are still risky. The big ceremony event is not required for solemnizing your union. Recognize that government mandates and other business restrictions can put an extra burden on others to attend your celebration. Cancelling the big day was done for the greater good, and that’s perfectly fine.

Disappointment Is Natural

It would be strange if you weren’t disappointed or sad about cancelling the wedding ceremony. It was your party and you can “cry if you want to.” Making space to sit with your sadness is not only natural, but it’s also a healthy part of dealing with your feelings. The event might’ve been an opportunity to see old faces, meet new people from your partner’s family and deepen bonds with your nearest and dearest. You may be tempted to look on the bright side as a way to avoid feeling disappointment. This was to be a special moment in time, and things didn’t work out as planned.

It’s a Grieving Process for Others Too

While you might recognize the importance of grieving in other types of loss, having to abandon wedding plans also inspires feelings of grief, not just for you but other people as well. Perhaps your partner or your parents are also struggling with disappointment. Try to avoid offering comfort through statements that start off with “at least…” You can better support by being empathetic instead of sympathetic. Talk to your friends and family who are also finding difficulty in dealing with the cancellation. Wedding celebrations, in reality, are all about your family, village or community, who want to shower you and your spouse with love, so they feel the loss also.

Activities To Move Past Grief/Disappointment

While it’s important to acknowledge and deal with your grief, there are activities you can do to help you process your feelings:

  • Journaling: Carve a few minutes early during the day to write down your feelings. It’s important that you allow yourself to experience your feelings uncritically. Take no more than 15 minutes and find something fun to do afterwards.
  • Sitting in gratitude: A healthy way to look on the bright side of things is by finding time to appreciate what’s going well, especially in spite of the pandemic. The love of a new spouse is a great place to focus this energy of appreciation.
  • Moving on: While it’s important to feel the way you do, you also need to assure yourself that the acceptance of reality is also important. At some point, this pandemic will pass and there will be plenty of loving and living to do before, during and after. Remind yourself on a regular basis.

A big wedding celebration is the dream of many engaged couples. While a global pandemic can throw a wrench into your plans, even to the point of cancellation, it’s ok to be disappointed or sad. Sit with your feelings and then plan on moving past this grieving period. Perhaps you can invest the time and treasure intended for your marriage ceremony into a future wedding anniversary instead.

Canadian Couple Learns the High Price of Cancelling a Wedding

Cancelling a Wedding

Weddings sometimes must be cancelled. This can be due to a number of different circumstances. Unexpected health problems for the bride, groom or other family members may make the original date no longer feasible. Other couples simply come to the conclusion that calling things off is the right choice. A Canadian couple recently learned that not all vendors are sympathetic to a change in plans.

An Accident in Winnipeg

Maricar Evans and Tanner Irwin had scheduled a lovely Mexican wedding for July 21. Their dream nuptials did not happen because Tanner was in a bad motorcycle accident shortly before the event was to take place. When the couple attempted to postpone their 40-person Air Canada Vacation package, they were unsuccessful. If you are within 20 days of departure, the airline does not allow you to reschedule. The couple and a number of guests bought insurance through the travel agency that booked the trip, but the insurer told them only the groom and his immediate family would receive a total refund because he was the person hurt. Everyone else had to either go on the trip anyway or lose 50 percent of their money. Evans and Irwin decided to go ahead with their wedding and were married at the hospital.

Tips for Cancelling a Wedding

Whether you are postponing the ceremony due to unforeseen circumstances, or canceling it altogether, is important to tie-up all the loose ends as soon as possible.

  • Inform the Guests

Communicating the news to your guests should be a top priority, this is particularly essential if they would have had fly to the event. If it is close to the date, you may have to call them to be sure they get the information in a timely manner. Otherwise, it is perfectly okay to send an announcement in the mail informing guests of the change in plans. An explanation is not needed.

  • Try to Get a Refund

While it is definitely better to not go through with the ceremony if either or both partners feel it is the right thing to do, there will probably be financial consequences. Depending upon how much notice you give the vendors, your chances of getting your money back will vary. Oftentimes reception venues require a nonrefundable deposit, but if they are able to rebook another event in your timeslot you may be able to get some of the money back. It is typically more difficult to secure refunds for items such as wedding gowns.

  • Reimburse Bridal Party

Bridesmaids and groomsmen should be compensated for any wedding related expenses they have incurred including outfits and airplane tickets.

  • Return the Gifts

All wedding gifts you received should be returned to the guests who sent the presents. If a gift has been used, you can keep it. Some people are not overly concerned about getting their gifts back and may tell you not to worry about it, given the circumstances.

  • What About the Ring?

In most circumstances, wedding etiquette dictates the ring should be returned to the person who bought it. However, there have been hundreds of lawsuits on this matter and sometimes judges have ruled in favor of the recipient. When the ring is an heirloom, it is necessary to give it back no matter the circumstances.

  • When One Partner Cancels

If the groom or bride independently chooses to not go through the nuptials, it is the responsibility of the party who decided to break things off to handle all the cancellation details. Even if the other partner has made all the arrangements for the wedding, this rule still applies.

Even the best laid plans don’t always come to pass. Postponing or cancelling a wedding altogether is not fun, but following these tips can help you get through the experience.