Changing Opinions on the Tradition of MarriageTimes change. No matter how much one might try to fight it, there is no stopping tomorrow from arriving. Instead of battling against the forces of the future, it can be much more rewarding to embrace change. When one learns about new attitudes on old ideas, it can spark amazing thoughts in the mind and help a person to grow and change. Marriage is a tradition that has been around for a significant amount of time. Still, it seems that recent years have brought forth many new and differing opinions on the matter.
This should not come as a surprise to anyone who has looked into the history of marriage across varying cultures. For the most part, weddings never took place for love until more recent history. The joining of two people was considered a status move in some cultures; in others, it was a way for two families to join together their assets and forge a strong union for the future. While the tradition has come a long way since then, it is important to accept that it will constantly change moving forward.
What Is Love?
As stated, love was a concept not connected to weddings until the past few centuries. While it can be nice to think about love being the driving force behind a wedding, it also can bring up questions about what love is in the first place. People struggle with the idea of love, especially romantic love, because it has been showcased to the public in specific ways through films, books, and even history. This creates unfair expectations of what love should be and how two people who are in love are supposed to behave.
In truth, there is no correct way to love someone. There are, however, healthy kinds of love and unhealthy kinds. People who are in abusive relationships are experiencing unhealthy love, where one partner holds power over another and uses it to manipulate the other in emotional ways. Healthy love is any bond that helps two people to grow and change together for the better. Celebrating healthy love in a productive way can take many unique and fascinating forms. For some, this is the act of getting married. Still, plenty of people have problems with what the idea of marriage implies.
What Is Fidelity?
With the concept of love being the cornerstone of most marriages, it brings up questions about what married life entails. For most people, fidelity is important. It is assumed that a couple will be faithful once they have tied the knot. Unfortunately, statistics tell a different story. Recent studies in the country say that more than 25 percent of married men have cheated on their partners, with married women coming in at about 15 percent. This suggests that one out of every four couples will experience problems that stem from infidelity.
For many, the act of “cheating” is one that can bring up strong emotions. Sneaking around behind a significant other’s back and lying to him or her is the true heart of the problem. While being physically intimate with someone other than a spouse might seem like the root of the issue, most couples will tell you that the lying is what causes the most stress. Though most people still do not agree with adultery, polls of younger couples suggest that attitudes about fidelity and married life are changing.
Tomorrow Never Knows
Marriage is a tradition that has been changing since it first came about and will continue to change in the future. There are no real rules to marriage. As long as you and your partner are on the same page about what you expect from each other and engage in open conversations, it will help to keep your partnership healthy and clear of any unforeseen complications.
Helpful Tips for Planning a Dry Wedding ReceptionAlthough a dry reception is not the usual choice for many newlyweds-to-be, some discover that they are gravitating towards it for several reasons. Those recovering from alcohol dependency may welcome the lack of temptation and find that it is easier to enjoy themselves. Couples trying to keep costs down might also decide to omit beer, wine, spirits, and cocktails from the menu. Finally, one’s religious beliefs or personal preferences could call for a nonalcoholic reception. Regardless of your reasons, a dry reception doesn’t have to be a dull or boring one. A few suggestions may help you plan a fun affair for you and your guests.
Desserts In the AM &PM-Hold a Morning or Afternoon Wedding
Because drinks are customarily served at evening wedding receptions, some of your guests may notice their absence. One way to make it less obvious is to plan your celebrations during a different part of the day. Brides Online recommends shifting your nuptials to the morning or afternoon. This opens up a wide range of food possibilities, such as a breakfast, brunch, or lunch reception. Your guests will have a great time sans alcohol, and you can sweeten the deal with appetizing, unconventional choices for noshing.
A Distraction With Desserts May Be Key
If moving your reception to earlier in the day doesn’t appeal to you, shifting the focus to something unique and unexpected can cause your guests to not even miss the drinks. A desserts-only affair is a lovely distraction, especially when distinctive coffees and teas are paired with your sugary delights. Alternatively, you might opt to make your meal the centrepiece of your celebrations, leaving your guests amazed at the food and making drinks the furthest things from their minds. Offbeat Bride even suggests hiring a superbly talented barista to craft caffeinated drinks for your party, transforming it into entertaining and sober festivities. The bloggers at The American Wedding propose even more uncommon inclusions at your reception, such as offering a candy bar for mixing and matching sweets or deliciously tempting non-alcoholic “mocktails.”
Another possibility to take the attention off the missing alcohol is to include spectacular entertainment options. While wedding disc jockeys have become more common in Canada, who says you can’t have a live band at your special night instead? Why not select a special act, such as a comedian or an illusionist, to entertain friends and family after your ceremony? Whatever you decide, make sure that it’s exciting and interesting enough to keep their attention.
Should I Tell My Guests?
While you’re planning your dry reception, the question of whether to inform your guests will likely come to mind. Opinions differ widely on this, depending on who you ask. The American Wedding proposes telling attendees in advance, to avoid any assumptions that could result in their disappointment. However, you might decide that not informing your friends and family ahead of time may be for the best. If you have potentially problematic guests who might try to sneak in alcohol or get intoxicated beforehand, they won’t be prepared for the lack of drinks and you may avoid a potential kerfuffle. Also, keep in mind that family and friends with kids may make alternative child care arrangements if they believe alcohol will be served. In those cases, you may wish to clarify whether children will be welcome at your nuptials and encourage them to attend anyway.
Fun Without the Bubbly
Planning a dry reception takes a bit of work, but the results can be enjoyable. Be sure to consider your entertainment, food, and dessert options as well as non-alcoholic alternatives for toasting such as sparkling fruit juices. If carefully arranged and executed, your teetotaling affair can be a pleasing celebration of the shared loved and lifelong devotion between you and your partner.
Photographing Something Worth RememberingWeddings can be weird. Even though these events are supposed to be important celebrations, they can often feel forced. This is because most people are very aware of how others have celebrated their weddings. You need to be on Facebook for all of five minutes before you scroll across an old friend or colleague who has posted photos from his or her recent wedding. On top of this, you’ve probably been to a fair number of weddings in your time. These preconceived notions of what a wedding should be can be overwhelming.
When you are trying to plan for your special day, you may run into a couple of obstacles. Seeing enough images of weddings can make you feel like you’re not living u p to some invisible standard. Luckily, this is a natural anxiety. Remind yourself that it is your wedding and you can plan it however you like. Putting your own spin on aspects of the event can be a great way to feel like you’re taking control of a day that is supposed to be important to you and your partner.
Giving the Guests Control With Photography
Hiring a wedding photographer is a wise move for your special day. You want to have someone rushing about, looking for the perfect shots, and bringing you to the side to get some classic posed pictures of you and your significant other. Of course, you might want more from the photography. Instead of relying solely on your wedding photographer to capture each moment, you can try your hand at giving some of the photo control to the guests. Handing out disposable cameras to each table at the wedding is one way couples have tried this tactic in the past.
Disposable cameras are an awesome option, but they are not super practical these days. Fewer places develop film, which means you might have to pay a bit more than you would like for the processing. Digital cameras can also prove problematic and are expensive to buy for a one-time use. Renting Polaroid cameras is a very popular trend for couples. Finding a service that provides the cameras and film can help you capture intimate moments shared during your wedding and deliver beautiful prints immediately.
Go a Different Route With Photography
Wedding photography is a process that starts slightly before the wedding ceremony and ends when you receive your photos from the photographer. The editing process is one of the more important aspects of this journey. If you want to explore a different path for your photos, you can see what editing options are available to you. Crafting the right atmosphere in a photo can completely transform the way you feel about the images. Instead of typical photos that are evenly lit and traditionally framed, you can opt to have the photos edited to give them more exciting or ethereal feelings.
When selecting your wedding photographer, be sure to have a conversation about editing. Ask what is possible from your photographer and be sure to discuss your personal aesthetic. A good photographer will be able to help you find the right mood for your photos by listening to your likes and dislikes and formulating a design plan on the spot. Looking through a photographer’s portfolio can be useful and help you to see the diversity and range that the person is capable of. Considering this angle from the start can help your plan take form.
The Complete Photography Package
Your special day is one you are going to want to remember for the rest of your life. Consider playing around with ideas like renting instant cameras to add new dimensions to the photography that emerges over the course of the night. No matter what option you pick, you can feel excited that you will get to see some amazing shots.
Tips for Writing Thank-You Notes for the Newly Married CoupleIt seems as if sending letters through the mail is passé. While most of the time it’s okay to send your friends an email or text instead of a snail-mail message, there are at least two times when electronic messages are discouraged. When you have a friend that passes away, you should take the time to write a note or card and mail it. This lets the family open it when they’re ready. It’s just good etiquette.
Thank-you notes for wedding gifts are another time when you (and your spouse) should send a handwritten note. Your guests took time to give you a special gift. It’s customary to send the thank-you in the mail. The task can be overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. Let’s look at some ways you can make it easier to get these notes out in the mail. You cannot post a generic thank-you on your website or send a form email to your guests.
As the Gifts Come In
- Be responsible and track what gifts you’ve received and from whom. This will make your life much easier later.
- Put someone in charge of tracking gifts at each shower and taping cards to gifts for later.
- Have someone you trust take care of wedding gifts received at the reception. Give that person a roll of tape to attach cards to gifts before transport.
- Spend one evening writing thank-you notes for bridal shower gifts. Ask your spouse to help. This eliminates having to write so many after the wedding.
- Acknowledge shipped gifts when you receive them, which is another way to save time after the wedding. This also lets the recipient know the gift has been received.
- Order custom thank-you cards before the wedding when you’re ordering invitations to have them ready to go. Have stamps on hand, too. This lets you choose the stamps you want to use.
- Print out return address labels or order them. Have two sets: one for before the wedding and one with your married name.
- Separate notes are required for each gift at each party. You should not write one note to one person who attended the engagement party, bridal shower and wedding and gave you three gifts.
After the Wedding When You’re Writing Notes
- Personalize each card. Reference the individual who gave you the gift and the gift itself.
- Don’t feel as if you have to gush. Just be enthusiastic.
- Don’t mention that you might return the gift.
- For monetary gifts, mention how you used the funds. It’s okay not to mention the amount, but you can if you choose.
- If you want to use wedding photos in the cards, make sure you can get them back promptly. Don’t delay sending notes because you’re waiting on photos.
- Don’t use form letters or a pre-printed card.
- Both of you should be involved in sending notes, no matter which side of the family gave the gift. This may be the first time you and your new spouse have to work together after the ceremony.
- Do the thank-you notes in batches, say 20 every evening. It won’t take long to knock them all out and you won’t get so burned out as you do them.
- If you aren’t familiar with the gift-giver, use formal greetings. It’s okay to address someone as “Mrs. Smith” if that’s how you know her.
- It’s also very nice to address their presence at the wedding. You might even wish to send notes to everyone who attended.
No, you don’t have a year to write thank-you notes. At one time, that might have been the rule, but it’s not today. Get those notes out ASAP, within a month of your wedding. Your job isn’t done until the thank-yous have been sent.
Current Peculiar Wedding TrendsThere are many different ways that couples decide to get married. While it is true that there are some traditions that have lasted through centuries and across various cultures, a great deal of what happens during a wedding is unique to the couple tying the knot. This is because a wedding is a celebration of the love that two people share. If you are currently planning for your own wedding, you might feel as if there are a lot of decisions to make and you may not be sure which choices are going to fit your needs best.
One of the best ways to feel inspired for your own wedding is by taking a look at what other couples are currently doing for their ceremonies and receptions. This is a great way for you to see if there are some good ideas out there waiting to be discovered. It also can help you to figure out what to avoid for your wedding. Some trends tend to get a bit peculiar. Take a look at these odd wedding trends that are currently circulating around the marriage circuit and see for yourself.
A Change of Face
You have most likely heard about brides who ask a lot of their bridesmaids. There are plenty of horror stories out there telling tales of hideous bridesmaid dresses and lavish bachelorette parties that cost everyone involved a small fortune. While this can be stressful, it is far from the worst. One of the most bizarre and somewhat terrible wedding trends that has popped up in recent years is the bride asking her bridesmaids to get plastic surgery. It might seem like a joke from a movie, but this is a trend that is on the rise.
Essentially, this is a situation where a bride want s all of her bridesmaids to look perfect for her wedding. To the bride, this means that each person needs to have a perfect face and body. To ensure that nothing goes wrong, brides have been known to ask the members of their wedding party to get Botox injections or a breast lift. While you probably aren’t going to ask this of your bridesmaids, looking at the details can help you to feel better about the personal demands you are placing on the women in your party.
Internet Sensations and Trends
No matter how cynical a person might be, he or she has definitely watched at least one wedding video on the internet. There are so many amazing videos of wedding parties erupting into flash mobs or brides and grooms going above and beyond to bring their partners to tears of joy. While it can be incredibly sweet to watch these videos and feel the love being shared, you also may want to avoid doing anything this sensational at your own wedding. A current trend amongst couples is to have a wedding that winds up on YouTube.
The trouble with trying to film something at your wedding to go on the internet is that you are going to be playing with the natural flow of the evening. Filming something can be challenging. If you spend your entire wedding trying to organize a YouTube hit, then you are going to be losing track of the primary reason that you are at the wedding. Upload videos of your wedding to the internet if you see fit, but don’t get too caught up in the process and forget why you and your significant other are there.
Weird and Wonderful Trends
When you want to feel inspired for your coming wedding, there are plenty of excellent resources to explore. Research more unusual wedding trends that are currently popular and see if any stand out to you. You will easily be able to learn what will and what will not work for your big day.
Wedding Ceremony for Your FriendsYour best friends have asked you to officiate at their wedding. You went to the Universal Life Church website, and you got ordained. That was the easy part. Suddenly, you realize you’ve never done anything like this and you have no idea what to say or do. Instead of panicking, take a moment and breathe. You’ve got this. We have dozens of resources that will help you take on the important position of the wedding officiant. You’re not alone.
The Script
One of the best resources we offer is a wedding script generator. It has traditional and contemporary options for many different faiths:
- Christian
- Buddhist
- Jewish
- Atheist/Agnostic
- Muslim
- Pagan/Wiccan
In addition, there are special ceremony options, such as jumping the broom, hand-fasting, or a sand ceremony. You can choose from different elements, from the wedding sermon to the greeting, to give you the words to say every step of the way. Once you and the couple have decided on which elements to include, enter the information into the simple form, click enter, then download a PDF file to print out and practice. Alternatively, the couple may want to write their own script. One problem solved.
Performing the Ceremony
Now, you’re thinking you don’t want to get up in front of all those people. Very few people don’t have some form of anxiety when public speaking, but you can overcome this too. First, remember that all eyes are going to be on the bride and groom (or the two grooms or two brides). You are part of the supporting cast. Authenticity on your part will certainly cover a number of jitters, but you’re going to be prepared.
Most public speakers only got more confident by practicing. Read the script out loud. Practice in front of a mirror or in front of someone else. You don’t need to memorize the entire script, but you should be familiar with it. When you’re actually officiating the wedding, you won’t be so dependent on the script. You can look up and make eye contact with the audience or the couple. Maybe you will even feel free enough to ad lib a line here or there.
Should the couple choose to write their own script, ask them to have it to you two to three weeks before the ceremony to give you time to prepare. Go through the script and highlight parts where others speak or the parts that are not spoken. Have a clean copy to read from on the day of the ceremony that fits into your folder or Bible. Number the pages if you decide to keep them loose.
As the officiant, you are a supporting cast member, but you should still consider your appearance. Get a haircut. Make sure your clothes are pressed and clean. Get a manicure. You want your hands to look good when you’re meeting guests or holding the bible. Looking good makes you feel confident, which lets you present yourself better when you’re in front of the wedding.
The Day of the Ceremony
The wedding day can be busy and exciting. Don’t try to run on caffeine and sugar. Stay hydrated and eat healthy to have energy for the ceremony. Focus on the positive and the event. The audience is your friend. You’ve prepared for the wedding. Be yourself. If you do make a mistake, don’t call too much attention to it. The audience may not even realize it. Keep moving forward. Your friends had confidence in you to be the officiant of their wedding. They wanted you to make the day special. You weren’t asked to be perfect, just to be part of their very special day. Relax. You can do it.
Do You Need Wedding Insurance?Have you ever thought about all the time and money involved in planning your wedding? According to one report, the average wedding with a honeymoon costs between $22,000 and $28,000 for each couple. That doesn’t count all the hours you’ve spent talking to vendors, trying on dresses and looking for the perfect decorations to show off your style and personality.
Types of Wedding Insurance
The two main types of wedding insurance are the following:
- Event liability and property damage, which provides protection in case there are accidents arising from your wedding, such as a guest who gets injured or an alcohol-related accident
- Event cancellation or postponement insurance, which covers nonrefundable expenses if the event is cancelled or postponed.
Some companies offer a discount when both types of insurance are purchased together.
Although many vendors require some kind of liability insurance as part of renting the facility, this insurance doesn’t protect your investment in the wedding should the worst happen. Maybe one of you gets food poisoning the night before the ceremony. Perhaps a flight gets canceled, causing you to not arrive in time to your destination wedding. It could be as simple as bad weather or an unexpected military deployment. Whether you just have to postpone the event or even cancel it, wedding insurance is a good idea to protect your money. You get back any non-recoverable deposits from hotels and suppliers as well as damages.
What Does Wedding Insurance Cover?
Each insurance company will have different policies and contracts. Generally, a wedding insurance package designed to protect you in case of cancellation covers certain things:
- Damage to wedding gifts for up to 24 hours after receiving them.
- Non-recoverable deposits paid to various vendors who fail to meet contractual obligations. For example, the limousine that is taking the bride and groom to the airport doesn’t show up. Insurance covers the costs of another vehicle.
- Physical damage to the dress or rings, usually with limits of the damage happening within a certain time frame.
- Reimbursement for pre-paid and non-recoverable costs of the honeymoon if the wedding is canceled or postponed.
- Coverage to replace photographs or DVDs if these items need to be retaken. Also it can cover the cost to replace a photographer at the last minute if something happens.
- Direct loss or damage to the wedding cake and flowers.
- If you have expenses that arise out of trying to avoid a cancelation, for instance, you have to take a more expensive flight to get to your destination on time, your insurance would cover those charges.
Is Wedding Insurance for You?
Many people think that wedding insurance is only for high-end weddings. Of course, if you’re spending $20,000 or more on an event that’s a year away, you should protect that investment. However, insurers base insurance premiums on the limits you need to protect your investment. Just make sure to talk to your insurance provider and fully understand the limits on your coverage. Think about the risks you have with your event. If you’re worried about someone who’s been drinking at your party going out on the road, look for a “host liquor liability” policy. Or don’t have alcohol.
Wedding insurance is available up to a year before the wedding, although it does need to be purchased at least 30 days before the event. It’s a good idea to get the insurance once you’ve made the first deposit to a vendor or event planner. It might be difficult to imagine that your big day could have a hiccup, but the reality is that no one knows what’s going to happen tomorrow. It’s just wise to protect your investment with the right insurance. You’ll sleep better knowing that you won’t lose your money that has been given to different vendors.
Asking Permission to Get MarriedOn September 13, “The Bachelorette Canada” premieres on W Network. The American show, “The Bachelorette” has been a popular mainstay of summer television for a number of years. The premise is simple. A group of men compete for the hand of a single woman. Each week, the bachelorette narrows the field until there is just one left. The men and woman go on dates, sometimes one-on-one, sometimes as a group, to explore the local culture and get to know each other. It’s anticipated that the final date will be a proposal, but no one really knows for sure until the end. During the final episode of the U.S. version of “The Bachelorette” that just aired, one big storyline was that of the men asking the bachelorette’s dad for permission to marry his daughter.
JoJo was this season’s bachelorette. She had expected a proposal during her season on “The Bachelor,” but it was not to be. She was then given the opportunity to be the star of her own season, and viewers saw her go through many dates around the world finally narrowing her choices to Jordan and Robby. When the two men met the parents (on separate days), they each had discussions about the importance of JoJo’s family and how much JoJo wanted her parents to approve of her future husband. Robby did talk to JoJo’s father and ask his permission to ask JoJo to marry him. Jordan did not. Robby was ready to propose to JoJo, but she did not give him the opportunity. When she finally met with Jordan, the discussion revolved around how disappointed she was that he never got her father’s permission to propose to her. He made a call and talked to her father, then proposed. JoJo said yes.
Do Adults Need Parental Permission to Get Engaged?
In days past, a woman was considered the property of her father. When she married, her father would lose her work toward the household duties. She would be required to get her father’s permission to marry. For centuries, women were not allowed to own property themselves and they almost always needed a patriarchal figure. Fortunately, this has begun to change over the years, and there are no such limitations. “The Bachelorette” reminded Americans of this custom and many people wonder if a woman really needs permission to get engaged or to get married.
JoJo is an adult who was fairly established in her career and life’s path. She made it clear to Jordan that the tradition was important to her, but not because she was subject to her parents. This is a valid point. She also communicated her needs to Jordan very clearly so that he understood how much it meant to her. It seemed to be about family, not the permission. She wanted her family included in her decision.
Many women today aren’t as traditional. Family is complicated and complex. Today’s brides might have absentee dads or moms. What’s a groom to do when there isn’t a dad? What should a same-sex couple do when asking parents for permission? Which person asks permission if two women are being married? How should a groom act if the bride is much older, with children of her own or with deceased parents? How are you to know if you should ask permission before you get engaged? And, what are you going to do if the parents say no, should you ask?
The Solution?
When two people are considering marriage, it’s important to talk about what’s important to each person. Communication of your expectations is the only way to know what you should do. The tradition may seem outdated in today’s society, but it’s not necessarily about patriarchal permission. Before you take steps to propose, ask your partner about his or her thoughts. Then proceed accordingly.
Being a Supportive GroomFrom the time most girls are little, they start to plan the wedding of their dreams. It can seem as if the groom’s only job is to wait at the altar for the bride to show up. The wedding planning may be the bride’s venue, but as a groom, you can certainly get involved. This celebration commemorates the love you have for each other.
A Supportive Groom
Instead of letting one person take care of everything, both of you should be actively engaged in the planning. Here are some tips to help a groom be supportive and to have a say in what should be the most memorable day of your life.
- Have opinions. Even though the details may seem minute to you, it’s important for the bride to see that you are engaged with the process. Be diplomatic when you really aren’t sure what the difference is.
- Take care of your relationship through this time. You may be required to go through pre-marital counseling. Use that time as a stepping stone to build a better partnership.
- Register for gifts with your bride. Use the time to learn more about her tastes and style instead of looking at it as a long shopping trip.
- Help with the research of venues, caterers, or other vendors. Offer to help look for photographers or rental companies for the tuxes. Talk to friends or family members who have recently gotten married and ask them to share advice about their experience.
- Go to the meetings with the vendors when you can. Not only will you share the time with your bride, but you also help take the pressure off her during planning.
- Deal with your family during the planning and wedding. This may mean that you have to stand up to your mom when she inserts herself into the mix. Don’t expect your bride to mediate with your parents or siblings over wedding details. Work it out together, then make the decision known to everyone.
- Be the stress relief. Take time out of your schedule to make sure you have dates with your bride that aren’t about the wedding. Make sure she has days to relax with her friends to help keep her sane. The closer the wedding gets, the more stressed she may feel. Being the helpmate before you ever get married will bring you closer together.
- Don’t shirk on your responsibilities to your groomsmen. Pick out the gifts for the guys yourself. Schedule fitting times to meet with the guys, and stay on top of your own planning. If you have friends who may get out of line during the party and reception, talk to them beforehand and have a plan to deal with it.
- Be appreciative. Thank the people who have been helpful in making the wedding happen. Help write thank-you notes for gifts that arrive.
- Plan the honeymoon. Even though you may enjoy surprising your bride, don’t wait until the last minute to tell her where you’re going. Remember that the wedding night may not be all you expect. You both may be exhausted after the ceremony and reception, so don’t have so many expectations that it turns a positive day into a disappointing night.
Help Manage the Stress Instead of Adding to It
Every bride wants the perfect day for a wedding. You may have to be the voice of reason that reminds her that when something doesn’t go as planned, it’s okay. However, you can also do what you can to make sure things do go right. Help her check in with the vendors and wedding planner on the days before the ceremony. Ask her what you can do to help every step along the way so that you both get to the altar with less stress.
Dealing With Children At Your WeddingIt’s hard enough to create a guest list for just adults, but dealing with kids at a wedding can be more complicated. When comes to young people, you have to decide first whether you want to and can include them at the affair. If you have space limitations, excluding children is a good place to start to keep the head count in check. If you decide to invite children, you do need to make some arrangements for them. Here are some thoughts to help you plan for children, or not, at your ceremony and reception.
Not Inviting Children
You should be prepared for people to ask you if their children are included on the invitation, even when it’s specifically addressed to just the parents. Have an answer ready, like, “no, we just can’t include children this time due to space parameters,” or “we need to limit the guest list.” If you’re allowing nieces, nephews or family members who are younger, say so. “We are only able to invite the children of our family.” It is very difficult to exclude children, but it is appropriate to only have those individuals at your wedding who you want. Just be tactful when you respond to people.
One additional note: It might be tempting to invite the kids to the ceremony only, but this isn’t recommended. Imagine how you would feel attending the service only to watch your friends or family go off to a party without you.
Inviting Children
Kids add a certain magic to a wedding because they experience it in a way adults cannot. Still, unattended children could easily turn into a black magic moment. You have to plan for kids in attendance.
- Make sure you are clear about which children are invited from each family. If space isn’t an issue, then just put “and family” on the invitation. When space is an issue, you’ll need to write out each person’s name.
- Dictate seating appropriately. Don’t put one adult at a table with lots of kids. Certainly reconsider placing all the children at a table without supervision. You might even consider having a designated adult or teenager, or a hired babysitter, keep an eye on things. It would be a small price to pay to maintain semblance and order while allowing parents to dance and enjoy the party too.
- Talk to the caterer about offering a separate child’s meal that is simple and easy and something little ones will eat, such as chicken fingers or pizza. You might also request that the kids get served first because they won’t be as patient as adults. A sundae bar makes a great dessert option.
- Keep the kids entertained. Set up a movie room or have goodie bags with crayons and color books. Place a few board games off to the side for after dinner. Provide diversions to keep everyone occupied.
- Stay calm and have a sense of humor about the way the kids act. Ask your photographer to get those special moments of the kids dancing or sticking their fingers in the cake when no one’s looking. You can’t control every moment, so you might as well relax and just have fun with them.
Don’t apologize for giving your young friends the opportunity to take part in your wedding day. Children need to see these special moments to understand the world. However, you also don’t need to apologize for limiting your guest list and not allowing every child to attend. It’s your wedding and you need to make the best choices for you and your spouse. Do what needs to be done and stand firm. Just be prepared to deal with whichever option you choose to make the most of your ceremony and reception.
