canada wedding planning

The Art of the Thank You Note

Eco-friendly weddings are on trend. Sending digital invites and using a website to provide information about your wedding is a great way to save time and paper. If you’re considering sending digital thank you notes, consider these reasons for handwriting your thank you notes.

Handwritten Notes Are More Personal

Setting words on paper takes time. It’s very easy to dash off a text or email. When you sit down to write thank you notes, it’s an investment in your time and emotions. You may have to think about what to write before you set it in ink. Handwritten notes are often more authentic and thoughtful than digital notes. The recipient will know you cared enough to take time out of your busy schedule to write a note.

Everyone Loves To Get Mail

When you send and mail a handwritten note, it stands out. Who doesn’t like to find something special in the mailbox? Think about how many emails or texts you get each day. How many of those do you really remember and save? Many people keep handwritten notes and cards for months, even years. A wedding thank you note is about more than just the gift. You can thank someone for showing up and supporting your relationship or for being there during your life. Reading those words may be just what the recipient needs to hear.

Handwritten Notes Show Gratitude

When you send digital missives, it’s easy to rewrite the note until you get it just right. When writing thank you notes by hand, you either get it right the first time or start over on a new card. After a while, that could be expensive. Handwritten notes can share your gratitude more authentically than digital notes.

Know Who Gets Thank You Notes

Every guest who showed up for your wedding should get a thank you note, whether or not they brought a present. You should also send thank you notes for each gift received at other wedding parties, like for your engagement or wedding shower. Even with smaller weddings, you want to keep up with those notes so you aren’t overwhelmed after the wedding.

Tips To Keep Up With a Mountain of Thank You Notes

You may have 100 or more thank-you notes to write after the wedding and honeymoon. You may be ready to be done with wedding planning and move on. The key to tackling this final task is to plan ahead. Start by ordering thank you notes when you order your invitations, even if you use digital invites. 

Discuss thank you notes with your future spouse when you start planning your wedding. Ensure you’re both on the same page with how you plan to handle the notes. Buy stamps. Make address return labels. Track home addresses as you get gifts from your friends and family. This will make the job of writing notes much more manageable.

Have a page in your wedding planning notebook for people who need thank-you notes. Instead of waiting until after the wedding, write notes as you receive gifts. You can wait to mail them after the wedding. If you spend a half hour each week writing a couple of notes, it will dramatically reduce your time when you get home from your honeymoon.

Don’t Procrastinate 

Plan an evening after the honeymoon when you and your partner will sit down and plow through the rest of your thank you notes. Maybe you can ask one or two friends to help you with the notes and to keep you accountable. Your friends and family will think you’re organized and on top of things when they receive handwritten thank-you notes.

Maintaining A Strong Relationship as You Plan

Putting together the details of a wedding can add a lot of stress to your relationship. As you figure out the details of seating charts and attend endless meetings with vendors, you may find yourself taking out your frustrations on your significant other. To avoid souring your bond during this period, you must take active steps to keep your connection strong. By keeping a few important points in mind, you will have an easier time maintaining a healthy relationship from your engagement until long after you have tied the knot.  

Watch What You Say

One of the easiest ways to crack the foundation of a relationship is by complaining about your partner when he or she is not around. While everyone needs to vent now and again, doing so too much can start to enforce negative opinions about your significant other in your own mind. To break this habit, watch what you say to family and friends. Try to focus on your partner’s positive attributes instead of the ways that he or she has caused you frustration. By singing your love’s praises, you’ll remember why you fell in love in the first place. 

Find Time for Relationship Dates

Planning a wedding requires a good chunk of your free time. However, you still need to set aside time where the two of you can spend time together without the need to focus on event details. Having a date night each week is one of the best ways to keep your connection strong. There is no need to go out and spend a lot of money, either. Since you likely want to keep an eye on your budget, focus on ideas that won’t cost you much. Spending a night at home eating pizza and binging TV can be perfect. 

Show Your Love in Small Ways

Grand gestures are not needed to stoke the flames of love. In fact, most people are able to maintain their relationships by focusing on small actions. If your partner needs a dose of caffeine to start the day, make a pot of coffee before he or she wakes. Buy a little present out of the blue just to show you care. Take on household chores that you know your significant other hates to tackle. By putting effort into small gestures, you can strengthen the foundation of your relationship in a meaningful way. 

Be Sure To Listen In The Relationship

Though it might seem obvious, listening to your partner when he or she is speaking to you is crucial for the future of your relationship. Many people struggle with this because technology has made it easy to become distracted. If you’re having a conversation with your significant other, be sure to put down your phone and turn off the television. Rid the room of anything that might steal away your attention and put your full focus on what your partner has to say. The more you practice active listening, the easier it becomes to remember what has been discussed.

Celebrate Whenever Possible

Finally, make sure you take time to celebrate important moments in your relationship. Acknowledging important milestones and accomplishments can help to bring you closer together. Though your time and funds might be limited as you plan your wedding, setting aside a night to focus on all you have achieved is a wonderful way to bond. Whether you’ve had a great week at work or you’re approaching the anniversary of your first date, pop open a bottle of wine and give yourselves the opportunity to feel good about life together.  

While there’s no secret to maintaining a healthy relationship, there are many little ways to keep your connection strong during difficult times. Be sure to focus on each other as you move through the stress of planning your wedding, and be reminded of why you decided to take this step in the first place.

How To Plan a Wedding Without Alcohol

Traditionally, a wedding is an event where alcohol is readily available to guests. However, there are plenty of reasons to keep your big day free of liquor. Whether you or someone you love struggles with alcoholism or you simply don’t want the crowd to get out of control, you may be interested in having a dry celebration. Explore these tips and learn more about how you can throw a wedding without relying on alcohol. 

Reasons To Consider a Dry Wedding

If you’re on the fence about having a dry wedding, there are a few points to keep in mind about the decision. For one, statistics highlight that providing drinks to guests over the course of the event greatly increases the odds of someone getting injured during the festivities. What’s more, the laws in some areas state that you could be held legally responsible for any damage done to people or property as a result of overindulgence at your wedding. Other reasons to consider a dry wedding include your religion, personal beliefs, and budget. 

Informing the Crowd of No Alcohol

Since many people expect that drinks will be served at a wedding, you need to make your decision to have a dry event known as early as possible. The best and most straightforward way to achieve this is by noting the information on your invitations. If you’re worried about upsetting some of your guests with the news, phrase the message in a way that suggests you’re hosting a dry event because you want to throw a party that everyone will remember.  

It can also be a good idea to create a contingency plan in the event that guests sneak drinks into the venue or consume a lot of alcohol at a separate location before the reception. Work with the management team at your venue and arrange for employees to keep watch over the crowd and take note of anyone who might be sipping out of a flask or carrying bottles in their bags. 

Setting the Right Mood Without Alcohol

You definitely don’t need alcohol to have a good time at a party. All you have to do to make the crowd feel excited is set the right mood. To keep your guests in a festive spirit throughout the night, work with your DJ or band to create playlists that will get people up and dancing for hours. Try to avoid too many slow songs, as these are typically the moments when guests will go to the bar to get a new drink. You may also want to consider games and activities that will keep the crowd engaged. 

Offering a Delicious Selection

When you don’t have to worry about spending a ton of money on alcohol, you can free up space in your budget for other necessities like food. By providing a delicious selection of appetizers, entrees, and desserts to your guests, you will be able to give the crowd something positive to remember. Think outside the box to really impress your guests and explore off-beat ideas like hiring a local food truck to serve snacks. 

Exploring Alcohol-Free Drinks

Though you won’t be serving alcohol at your event, you can still explore the idea of having a bar that serves specialty drinks. Mocktails have become increasingly popular in recent years, as they provide the chance for guests to indulge in delicious concoctions without relying on liquor. If you’re having an outdoor event in the summer, for example, this is a perfect opportunity for a lemonade bar where you provide creative infusions like mint, raspberry, lavender, and blueberry. Guests will have the chance to quench their thirsts, feel refreshed, and get back to dancing.  

Though it might seem like alcohol is an integral component of weddings, this is far from the truth. If you feel more comfortable having a dry event, there are plenty of ways to ensure a good time is still had by all.

Important Facts To Remember About Your Wedding Party

Many people envision their wedding day as something magical with clear ideas of what the day will entail, including those who will support them at the altar. Members of the wedding party assume responsibility for helping a couple prepare for their nuptials. They should understand they’ll be helping you kick off this new phase in life. You’ll be asking a lot of these people, so remember these “facts” about those in your wedding party.

The Wedding Party is Not Your Wallet or Purse

It’s fairly common for bridesmaids and groomsmen to be responsible for paying for their attire, whether they’re renting or buying. A best man or maid of honor may have additional duties such as planning a stag and doe party or other prenuptial festivities. Be thoughtful about what the people in your wedding party are spending to participate. Your marriage ceremony shouldn’t be a financial burden to you and your future spouse. It definitely shouldn’t be one to those in your wedding party!

They’re Not Your Servant or Secretary

Your nearest and dearest friends and family members often have good ideas and wisdom, making them excellent resources when planning nuptials. Don’t take advantage of their willingness to help. It’s important to be reasonable when expecting others to accommodate your schedule. They have lives of their own. Inviting them to help you find an outfit or sample cakes is cool. Expecting them to be at your beck and call is not. 

They’re Not Mind Readers

You might have a sibling or best friend that knows you really well. While they might have a strong sense of your likes and dislikes, you shouldn’t assume they can read your mind. Clear and constant communication is important when preparing for a marriage ceremony. If you want your bridesmaids or groomsmen to do or not do certain things, say so. 

They’re Not Your Dolls

Many Canadian couples like the idea of a themed marriage ceremony and reception. A themed event may call for a particular look for your wedding party, especially when it comes to hair, makeup, and apparel. Remember your loved ones aren’t dolls where you can dramatically change their appearance based on your whims. Asking someone to wear a long-sleeved top to cover up tattoos is one thing. Expecting someone to change their hair color is another. It’s unreasonable to expect others to alter the way they look to please you.

They’re Not Your Subjects

Your nuptials are about you and your spouse. While your groomsmen or bridesmaids want you to be happy, you can’t force them to do things they don’t want to do. For example, if you have a loved one that doesn’t drink, don’t expect them to enjoy a glass of champagne just because it’s time to toast. While the day is one of the most important ones in your life, that doesn’t give you the right to bark orders to those in your wedding party. Respect your bridesmaids and groomsmen. 

They’re Not Your Fixers

Despite the best-laid plans, something can go wrong, especially when you’re tying the knot. If a photographer fails to show up, don’t expect the people in your wedding party to “save the day” with a smartphone camera or something equally ridiculous. Mistakes are unfortunate, but you can’t expect your circle to fix everything that doesn’t go according to plan. 

Having people who love you enough to be in your wedding party is a blessing. Not everyone has that kind of support, so be grateful for those who can handle reasonable duties as a bridesmaid or a groomsman. Making irrational or unrealistic demands of those around you can turn what should be a dream into a nightmare for loved ones. 

Topics You and Your Future Spouse Need To Discuss Before Tying the Knot

There are quite a few topics you would want to discuss before getting married. Couples all over the world pledge to marry each other with the understanding that their lives will be tied together. Canadian couples understand the concept of “two becoming one.” They know that married life will be one of joint decision-making, compromises, and hopefully, a balanced exchange of ideas. A successful union is more than just sharing a home or a bed. You’ll be sharing more than just a living space, which is why it’s important to see where the two of you stand on certain key issues. It’s hard to know your significant other’s perspective without having these difficult, although critical, conversations before the big day.

Money, Money, Money

Can you imagine marrying a person with no knowledge of their income or assets? Presumably you’ll be living together, so you’ll need to have a conversation about how monthly expenses will be paid. Expand the conversation to other key money-related topics:

  • Attitudes towards money
  • Sharing bank accounts or maintaining existing assets
  • Short-term financial goals, such as saving for the wedding or a down payment for a home
  • Long-term financial goals, including college planning, retirement, and estate planning
  • Credit histories and attitudes on debt
  • Appetite for risk when it comes to investing

Sex and Intimacy

There are many opinions about whether couples should or shouldn’t have sex before marriage. Even if both of you are on the same page, it’s important to talk openly and honestly about sex and intimacy. Are there practices you enjoy? What about your partner? What if you have an aversion to the acts and expressions your partner finds enjoyable? You don’t want to discover on your honeymoon that you and your partner are incompatible when it comes to sex, intimacy, and affection.

Topics With Health Issues

Many engaged and newly married couples intend to start families of their own. Every couple should talk honestly and freely about health issues, especially those that run in their families. Are you predisposed to certain medical conditions? For example, if you and your spouse both come from families with a history of certain chronic diseases, you’ll want to know that, especially if you plan to have children together. Even if kids aren’t a part of the long-term plan, you should discuss medical histories. If dramatic lifestyle changes become necessary for one of you, both of you will be impacted. 

Topics On Worldviews

If you’ve been dating for a while, there’s a good chance you know your significant other’s perspective when it comes to religion and politics. You might think you’re on board with your partner’s worldview, but you’d hate to be blindsided after marriage. Some people avoid discussing these topics, thinking they’re unfruitful or destructive. It’s critical to know where you both stand. Issues you find trivial may be a big deal to your future spouse. You may be ok with your partner having a different religion or political view, but that may change once children enter the picture.

Conflict Resolution Topics

It’s safe to say you and your significant other won’t agree on everything. That’s ok. Successful marriages aren’t about avoiding conflict but rather resolving it in a way that is mutually beneficial and healthy. Do you prefer to deal with conflict as it comes up? Maybe one or both of you tend to struggle with small disagreements, which can become bigger sources of contention. Not only do you need to discuss conflict resolution, but it’s also important to recognize how your biases, insecurities, and vulnerabilities may show up in your disagreements.

Sharing life together as a married couple means understanding that some days won’t be as sunny as others. Having open and honest discussions about difficult topics beforehand can help you navigate through and around storms. While it’s important to approach marriage with an open heart, open eyes are also critical.  

Statistics Surrounding Modern Canadian Weddings

Tying the knot is a very exciting chapter in the love story you are creating with your partner. Still, it can prove helpful to take a closer look at whether or not your event reflects current wedding trends. From the median age of a couple when they decide to get married to the traditions surrounding surnames, Canadian wedding trends fluctuate from one year to the next. Take a look at these statistics surrounding modern weddings and learn a bit more about the evolution of marriage in Canada over recent decades.   

Waiting To Wed

In the 1980s, the average age for a person to get married in Canada was 23. Over the last few decades, however, people have been waiting long periods before making the decision to walk down the aisle. Some experts believe this is due to younger individuals putting a heavier focus on their careers. Others attribute the delay to the rising costs of living and how expensive it has become to start a family. Regardless of the exact reason, the median age for a person to wed in Canada has shifted to 31 as of 2022. 

Breaking With Tradition

Modern couples often like to break with traditions that no longer suit them. A great example of this can be found in brides who decide to keep their own last names after getting married. In the 1970s, almost all Canadian women who tied the knot changed their surnames. According to polls taken in 2019, this number has shifted a considerable amount. Roughly 40% of women who get married nowadays opt not to fully change their names. Of this percentage, about half decide to hyphenate their last names in order to incorporate their married names. 

Setting Statistics Aside

As of 2023, about 36 countries across the world have legalized same-sex marriage. While this trend highlights how accepting people around the planet have become of LGBT relationships, it is important to note that Canada was one of the first countries to make this decision. Same-sex marriage was officially legalized in Canada on July 20, 2005, after the Civil Marriage Act was passed. While this act made same-sex marriages legal nationwide, certain provinces had legalized these unions earlier. Provinces that passed marriage equality laws in 2004 include Quebec, Yukon, Manitoba, Nova Scotia, Saskatchewan, and Newfoundland.

Opting for Winter Engagements

There is no “right” time of year to get engaged. As long as you and your partner are on the same page, the decision to get married can be a great choice. Still, some studies have shown that a majority of Canadian couples prefer to pop the question during the same period. According to a number of reports, a large chunk of couples make the decision to get engaged between December and February. While they may prefer winter engagements, most couples wind up hosting their weddings during the spring and summer. 

Sharing Space First

Several decades ago, it was commonplace for couples to live separately until they officially tied the knot. This is a trend that has shifted dramatically in recent years. According to national stats, roughly 75% of couples decide to live together before making the decision to get married. Many couples opt to move in together before marriage in order to see how well their relationships fare when they’re sharing a space. If you wait until you’re married to live with your partner, you might discover that the two of you have very different ideas on cohabitation. 

Ignoring Statistics & Following Your Own Path

While it can be helpful to take a look at statistics now and again, it is important to remember that your wedding does not need to follow any specific rules or trends. As long as you and your partner are happy with the decisions you have made, everything else will fall into place. 

What Canadian Couples Should Know About Credit

When a couple decides to marry, usually there’s an understanding they’ll be sharing things moving forward. This is true for couples in Canada and all over the world. Many newlyweds will share a last name, a primary address, several monthly expenses, and finances.

While these are all important elements in a marriage, finances can be very complicated. Sharing finances should lead to conversations about income, assets, debts, bank accounts, and credit histories, among others. Here’s what engaged and seriously dating couples should know about credit.

What Is Credit?

Generally, the term “credit” refers to a person’s creditworthiness or history as a borrower. This record is often expressed as a number or code, typically called a credit score. This score is based on your debt history and provides insight to lenders on the likelihood of you repaying debt on time. Credit scores not only impact your ability to secure loans or credit cards, but they can also affect employment opportunities sometimes.

What Does a Score Say?

In Canada, an individual’s credit rating is alphanumeric. A number ranging from 1 to 9 indicates your payment track record. A “1” means the person always pays their bills within 30 days of the due date. A “9” means the person never pays their bills. A “0” means the person has no credit history. Letters indicate the type of debt a borrower has:

  • I – This is an installment loan where the borrower makes fixed payments on a regular schedule until an established date. Think of a mortgage or a loan for college.
  • O – This is an open credit account where a balance must be repaid in full after a certain period. Certain charge cards (as opposed to credit cards) work this way.
  • R – This refers to revolving credit, such as credit cards, where the balance and repayment vary.

The type of debt you incur also matters to anyone reviewing your history as a borrower.

Do Married Couples Share Scores?

When two become one in marriage, their histories (and scores) do not merge. Your history is your own, and the same is true for your partner. Should you choose to open an account together or secure a loan together, lenders will review both histories. That shared account will also show up on both of your records. It’s important to discuss current debt and attitudes toward borrowing in advance.

Does Bad Credit Impact My Partner?

The good news is that having a spouse with bad credit doesn’t lower yours by marriage or association. Getting married doesn’t do anything for or against your rating. Joint debt will show up on both reports. Potential lenders will review both your and your partner’s histories if you’re applying for a loan together. If you add your partner as an authorized user to one or more accounts (or vice versa), those accounts will be a part of both histories.

Do Name Changes Impact My Score?

Taking on your spouse’s last name, hyphenating names, or choosing a new name doesn’t impact your score. It doesn’t reset your borrower history. You can initiate a name change with credit reporting bureaus by formally contacting them. Your reports may also update as you register a name change with existing accounts. 

What About Disputes?

If a report shows inaccurate information, you can formally dispute it with credit reporting bureaus. This is true for individual debt and shared debt. Because your and your partner’s credit records are separate, clearing up a dispute on shared debt does not automatically clear it for both you and your partner.

Finances are a complex subject for dating, engaged, and married couples. It’s important to be up on all the facts before you and your significant other decide to make joint purchases and take on debt. Your individual credit histories can’t automatically impact your shared financial future, but they may provide critical insights sooner than later.

Getting Guests To Unplug at Your Wedding

Many people have a problem giving up their devices, even for a solemn occasion like a wedding. An unplugged wedding is one in which the guests are asked not to have their phones out at all. It’s not about putting phones on silent or turning off the flash on their cameras. Guests are requested to put their phones away completely.

Even though device-free weddings are on trend, asking your friends and family to go without their phones for just a few hours can be controversial. Here are some things to consider if you’d like to have an unplugged wedding.

Decide How Much of Your Wedding You Want Technology-Free

Before you tell guests that you want a device-free wedding, make sure you and your partner are on the same page. Do you want both the ceremony and reception free of phones? Many couples ask that the ceremony be device free while allowing phones at the reception, provided that guests respect the professional photographer when getting those special moments, like cutting the cake or the first dance.

Present the Positives of Unplugging

Smartphones today are almost necessary, so getting guests to buy into your unplugged wedding will take some delicate footwork. Starting with your invitations, tell your guests that you’d like them to enjoy the ceremony without distractions from their phones. You want your guests to be present and in the moment.

You’ll need to repeat this multiple times through your wedding communications, from the save the date, on your website and at the venue itself. Have the officiant mention it during the welcome speech, too. This figure of authority can be more impactful than signs. 

How Do You Enforce an Unplugged Wedding?

You’re going to have to deal with guests who think they’re exempt from the no-device rule. Plan on taking a gracious approach, not a confrontational one. Give guests a station where phones can be safely stored during the ceremony. Don’t make this mandatory, but give options. Have one or two ushers who are comfortable asking guests to put their phones away if a guest sneaks them out to take a selfie.

Don’t threaten to take phones away. You hope your guests will want to support an unplugged wedding because it can be a refreshing moment where they can slow down. Going into punishment mode will put people on the defensive, which will take away the moment.

Are There Disadvantages to an Unplugged Wedding?

Before you completely unplug, consider another side. Guests like to take photos of events to remember for themselves. You may get copies of all your photos from the photographer, but most guests won’t have that option. In addition, you won’t get to see your wedding through the guest’s eyes.

Your guests may want pictures of family and friends they only get to see occasionally, and your photographer won’t be able to be everywhere. During the reception, guests can help take pictures of the fun stuff you might otherwise miss. While it’s nice to unplug for a while, getting those candid shots the photographer might miss is a good reason for guests to have their devices during the reception.

Be Gracious and Find Balance

There’s nothing wrong with wanting an unplugged wedding ceremony. Putting phones down can help your guests connect with you and your other guests. Expect pushback but stay confident in your decision; have polite answers that affirm your choice of an unplugged wedding. Give guests the opportunity to take photos with the bridal party and their friends and family.

Your wedding can be more intimate when your guests unplug during the ceremony. Ask your guests to “hold the phone” to be present for your wedding.

Tips for Planning a Pet-Friendly Wedding

Modern couples often want to include their fur baby in their wedding, but doing so is more challenging than simply bringing your pet to the ceremony and reception. You must consider several factors to ensure your pet-friendly wedding is as joyous and stress-free as possible for everyone involved.

Choose the Best Role for Your Pet

Consider your pet’s personality and style to find a role for it in the wedding. If you have an especially active pet, you could let him greet visitors to use up some of his energy. A couch potato may be better suited to walking down the aisle with you to her favorite pillow so she can nap during the ceremony.

If you want your pet to wear a special outfit during the wedding, practice putting it on ahead of time. If you have a shy pet or reactive dog, think about other roles that may be less stressful for your companion. For example, your fur baby could star in your engagement photos or invitations.

Hire a Pet Sitter

Before you plan to bring your pet, check with the venue to see if it’s pet friendly. Make sure you know the rules at each venue about what’s expected of your pet. Once you’re sure you want to include your animal, hire a pet sitter for the day. You and your wedding party are going to be busy. Don’t rely on them to take care of your pet.

Give your pet time to get to know the sitter before the big day. Also, ask your venue if there is a space where your pet can rest if things get overwhelming, or make arrangements for your sitter to take your animal back to the hotel or your home.

Make Your Guests Aware Of Your Pet

If you’re planning on bringing your pet to the wedding, you should alert guests because many people have allergies. This gives guests a chance to prepare by taking allergy medicine or to decline the invitation. Also, you should note whether other pets are welcome at the wedding or not. Mention it ahead of time so there are no questions or surprises.

Talk to Your Vendors

Let your wedding photographer know your pet is part of your wedding party. This can help the photo team set up the right angles to get your pet in the pictures.

Talk to the florist about your bouquet and floral arrangements, which should not include plants that are poisonous to your pet. For example, lilies are very toxic to cats, and some are toxic to dogs.

If you think your dog will be at the reception, you should alert the band or DJ and tell your caterer that a dog will be on-site. Communication before the event will help things go much smoother.

Pack Supplies for the Big Day 

You’ll want to make sure to have plenty of food, water and treats for your pet on your wedding day. Pack the pet’s food bowl and water dish to give him a sense of normalcy. Don’t forget to include a couple of favorite toys, plenty of waste bags and a pillow or dog bed. It might even be good to include a towel or puppy pads for accidents. And a lint roller for pet hair is an absolute must.

Having your best four-legged friend in your wedding party can make your day special, but you’ll want to practice with your pet beforehand. Let your pet get familiar with the space before the big day so he isn’t stressed out. Have a plan B in case things don’t go how you want, and you’ll still be able to have the wedding of your dreams. 

How To Include Friends on Your Big Day Without a Wedding Party

Having a lot of friends can be both a blessing and a curse while you’re planning your wedding. The more people you want to have a role in the festivities, the more complicated it becomes to have a wedding party of a sensible size. One way around this is by ditching the idea of bridesmaids and groomsmen altogether. Instead, there are plenty of other ways to include your loved ones during the ceremony and reception. Consider these alternatives and discover useful ideas for giving everyone a part to play.

Ask for Assistance With Preliminary Events

Typically, members of the wedding party are responsible for planning preliminary gatherings like the engagement party and the bachelor or bachelorette parties. Even though you’re opting to forego the traditional wedding party, you can still ask your close friends and family members to help you with certain precursory affairs. You should remain mindful of the costs of planning, however. Offer to pay for the parties, and be sure to purchase small gifts as a way of showing your gratitude to those who dedicated time and effort to putting together these events.  

Give Them Something To Read

Another great way to include your loved ones on your big day is by asking some of them to do readings during the ceremony. Whether you follow a traditional religious format or select texts that hold a special significance to your heart, this is a perfect way to show people you care about that you want them involved in your event. Be mindful of whether the people you ask are comfortable with public speaking. If certain people have a fear of talking in front of groups, it is best to find another task for them. 

Have Friends Give Speeches

You can also ask friends and family to give speeches during the reception. Traditionally, the best man and maid of honor deliver toasts over the course of the festivities. If you aren’t having anyone fill these roles, then you can feel free to ask anyone you’d like to say a few words. The more people you ask to speak, the shorter you need to make the speeches. Guests tend to become restless when people talk for too long, so be sure to ask only people who you know will be able to deliver succinct and sentimental toasts. 

Delegate Important Tasks

Throughout the course of your wedding, there are some tasks that need to be handled by individuals who are competent and trustworthy. If you want to make the people you care about feel included, consider asking them to take on these responsibilities. For example, you may need people to usher guests to their seats before the ceremony begins. You may also need a person or two to coordinate with the caterers and other vendors to ensure your big day follows a tight schedule. Asking responsible friends to fill these roles can offer you peace of mind. 

Include Your Friends in Photos

Finally, consider including specific loved ones in your wedding photos as a way of making them feel involved. However, don’t wait until the last minute to make this decision. Inform all of the people you want in your photos of your plan before the big day arrives. This is important because you don’t want people to wander off or get too drunk before you have the opportunity to get them in a picture. It can also be helpful to give a list of names to the photographer so that he or she can ensure everyone is present.

Though it might be traditional, there is no rule stating you must have a wedding party. If you still want your loved ones to feel included, there are plenty of alternatives that will make them feel special on your big day.