bachelorette

What You Absolutely Need To Do To Plan a Bachelor Party

Bachelor parties have quite an interesting history. The tradition supposedly started as far back as Ancient Greece, when Spartans were said to gather together the night before a man was to be wed. The men would toast and drink, telling stories of the man of honor and recounting all his past victories. The custom would persist through the centuries, being referred to by the beginning of the 1900s as a type of “backdoor party,” where illicit and immoral activities took place. 

Though the way these parties are celebrated may have changed somewhat over the years, the general idea remains the same. If you’ve been tasked with putting together a bachelor party for a man in your life, be sure to follow these tips and find the easiest path to success.

The Host

The host of the bachelor party is typically the individual who has been appointed the best man. However, this is not a hard-and-fast rule. It is also common for the task to fall on other close friends, family members, and coworkers. In recent times, it has become normal for the groom to ask for a bachelor party directly. This takes away any uncertainty surrounding who is in charge of putting the event together. The groom should also provide key details, like when the event should take place and where, but these details might also fall on your shoulders.

The Bachelor Party Plan

Creating a plan for a party of this nature can be tricky. Though movies and television have created the idea that the bachelor party is a raucous and out-of-control affair that takes place in locations like Vegas, this is far from the norm. The average bachelor party is usually held in a local bar or restaurant, with the participants sometimes heading back to someone’s house to continue the celebrations into the wee hours of the morning. While your party doesn’t need to follow this format, it is best to ditch any illusions you have about what a bachelor party should be.

The Man of Honor

While planning a fun event like this, you might find yourself getting caught up in the excitement. No matter how interesting an activity might appear, you still need to check with the groom before you make any big decisions. The groom is the man of honor for this party, and you want to make sure it is catered to his likes and dislikes. If you really want to hire a stripper and the groom has expressly stated he doesn’t want a stripper, you’re going to be making a big mistake if you decide to go ahead and hire one anyway. 

This doesn’t mean that there can’t be surprises involved. As long as you are including twists and turns that appeal to the sensibilities of the groom, then you can go ahead and bring as many unexpected elements into the fold as you’d like. 

The Bachelor Party Crew

One detail you need to go over with the groom in advance is the guest list. Typically, the members of the wedding party receive invitations to the bachelor party. However, the groom might also want a few additional people included in the festivities. Getting this information early is key, because you might need an exact count in order to secure reservations at a restaurant or book a specific service. Plus, knowing who is on the list can provide you with better insight on who to reach out to for help along the way. 

Bachelor parties have always been about a group of men coming together to celebrate a friend’s coming nuptials. Though the traditions might change, putting together an event of this nature is easy when you keep the reason for the occasion at the center of things.

Budgeting for the Wedding – Who Pays for What?

A person budgeting for a wedding

Proper budgeting is essential.

The cost of a wedding can approach the expense of new car or even more, depending on any number of items. According to The Huffington Post, a wedding in Quebec can run about $8,400 for just 77 guests, but one survey found that the average amount spent on a wedding was about $23,000. That figure does not include the engagement ring or honeymoon. Today’s couples have to make sure they have budgeted for their wedding. Traditionally, families were expected to help with the expenses, but in today’s environment, that isn’t always the case. Although the lines of who pays what for a wedding are definitely blurred, there are some customary divisions.

The Groom and His Family

The groom and his family have the easier burden when it comes to the wedding. The groom generally pays for the engagement ring and bride’s wedding ring. He should also expect to be responsible for:

  • His attire
  • Boutonnieres and corsages for his side of the wedding party
  • Officiant’s fee, plus accommodations and transportation
  • Marriage license
  • Bride’s gift
  • Gifts for the groomsmen
  • DJ or music at the reception
  • Liquor at the reception

Because the groom’s family traditionally hosts the rehearsal dinner, he or his family should expect to manage all the expenses associated with it.

The Bride and Her Family

Generally, if it isn’t in the groom’s list, it’s the bride’s responsibility. This includes the ceremony and reception expenses, as well as all of the planning, invitations, and photography. Most of the big ticket items are under the bride’s purview. The bride’s family is generally the one who hosts the engagement party, and the bride’s parents are considered the hosts of the reception. This is one reason their name is listed first on the invitation. If the bride hosts a luncheon for the bridesmaids, it is her responsibility to pay for the party.

The Attendants

Although the bride and groom are responsible for most of the expenses associated with the wedding, the attendants should pay for their own attire and accessories. Considerate brides and grooms may offer to assist with costs if the attendant is not able. The bride and groom may also need to provide attire for younger attendants such as the ring bearer or flower girl who do not have discretionary income.

The attendants generally work together to host the bachelor or bachelorette party, and the maid of honor and bridesmaids may host the bridal shower. Attendants should also arrange their own transportation to and from the wedding. Sometimes, the attendants chip in together for a gift for the couple, but it isn’t mandatory.

Contemporary Views of Who Pays

More couples are waiting until they are older and settled into a career and home before they tie the knot. This lets them contribute more money to their own affairs and not ask their parents to cover any expenses. Some families are splitting the bill in thirds, where the groom’s family, the bride’s family, and the couple each pay for one-third of the wedding.

Instead of looking at traditional lists of who pays for what, it’s important to consider the abilities of each party. Adult brides and grooms who have been managing their own finances should not expect parents to cover any of the costs. If the parent offers, then consider it a blessing and don’t ask for more. Second-time brides and grooms are pretty much on their own when it comes to wedding expenses.

Instead of making your wedding about money, take the time before you ever make plans to work out a budget and know exactly what you and your future spouse can afford. Stay within your budget to get started on the right foot without going into debt and dealing with a truckload of bills in your first year of marriage.