How to Write an Obituary

To write an obituary for a loved one is an important responsibility. It may sometimes seem overwhelming when you are grieving, but the exercise is best accomplished with effort and care. These days, it is not uncommon for people who have written their own—or family or friends who have taken on the responsibility—to include more customized, or even quirky, information. The obituary of Ontario native Mary Catherine Finn, who died on July 19, is one such example. It contained the following passage:

“In lieu of donations, Catherine would want you to do everything possible you can to drive Stephen Harper from office, right out of the country and into the deep blue sea if possible. Also, she would like you to fix the CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation).”

While expressing one’s political preferences is not necessary, there are certain details anyone reading an obituary will probably want to know.

The Basics of Writing an Obituary

Before you begin writing, be sure to confirm all requirements with any publications in which you want the obituary printed. If you are using a funeral home for the final arrangements, they may also be able to provide guidance. Big city papers are more likely to edit the length of these types of pieces due to space constraints, while smaller ones that serve more rural areas may be willing to feature longer tributes. The basic components of an obituary are:

• Announcement of Death

Most people begin with an announcement of death. It includes the full name and age of the deceased as well as when and where they died. The wording in this section can differ; “passed away” is commonly used, others choose “died” or some other variation. A frequent question is whether or not to mention the cause of death. This is sometimes addressed by using phrases such as:

• “She passed away peacefully at home after a long and happy life.”
• “She went to be with the Lord after a long illness.”

If the death is sudden, and particularly if the deceased is young, it might make sense to include more details so you are not bombarded again and again about the circumstances.

• Biographical Information

This section should include significant milestones and meaningful remembrances. Birth date and birth place, education, marriage, spouse’s name and career description are all examples. Listing every accomplishment and detail of a person’s life is not necessary or encouraged. Being selective with your words will help ensure an editor does not mercilessly whittle the piece down, as this could omit important material. If the deceased lived in Philadelphia when she was four—one of her 88 years of life—it probably doesn’t need to be mentioned. An acrimonious divorce is another detail you may want to skip. A popular way to organize this information is in chronological order, but this is not mandatory if you prefer to highlight certain parts or events.

The majority of obituaries also include a list of family members both living and deceased. Be careful to not forget anyone important, as this may cause hurt feelings.

• Service Schedule

Your funeral director is the best resource for the service details. This information should include the time, place and address of all related events such as the visitation, funeral and interment.

• Special Messages

It is common to include special messages in obituaries, such as:

• “In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to xyz charity.”
• “The family would like to thank the doctors and nurses at xyz hospital for taking such wonderful care of our mother.”
• Picture

Submitting a picture with an obituary is a nice touch. Using a more recent picture is preferable. People may unknowingly skip over an obituary if they don’t recognize the person in the photo.

An obituary is a final tribute to a person’s life. The above information can serve as a starting point for writing something truly memorable.