Handling Wedding Guests Who Don’t RSVP

Handling Wedding Guests Who Don’t RSVP

Guests who don’t RSVP are the bane of hosts of all kinds of parties, not just wedding receptions. Some experts estimate that up to 20% of wedding guests will RSVP no, while another 60% will RSVP yes. That leaves 20% who won’t respond at all. The reason a guest doesn’t respond isn’t important. Dealing with those non-responders is. Expect to have to call some people on your guest list to find out whether they’re attending or not. Have a plan to minimize your frustration.

Include a Grace Period

Your caterer needs a head count by a certain date. Move your RSVP deadline up about two weeks from that day. This gives you some time to track down those guests who didn’t RSVP. Put some time in your own schedule to handle the situation. You know you’re going to need to deal with non-responsive guests. Planning for it can give you breathing room.

Send Contact Reminders

About a week before the RSVP deadline, send out a reminder by email or text. This gives those folks with good intentions a chance to respond. You should get a few more responses before the deadline. It’s easy to lose track of time and forget to RSVP. Make it as easy as possible to RSVP, either through your wedding website or by responding to the reminder.

Take a Breath

As the deadline gets closer, it’s easy to feel frustrated. Weddings are serious business. Before you start pestering non-responsive guests, shake off those feelings of irritation. Yes, you’re busy and shouldn’t have to track down those guests to get the answers you need. However, your wedding day doesn’t need to be clouded by resentment by you or your guests. Your guests may have busy lives that don’t revolve around your wedding. You don’t know what they’re dealing with. Take a breath and relax.

Make Contact

You and your partner know your guests who haven’t responded. Decide how to make contact with each person on the list. Get help from your wedding party if your list is long. Start by connecting with those who have not responded. If your previous text or email went unanswered, find another way to reach out. Leave a voicemail or meet in person. This is not the time to use a group email or text. Reach out to each guest individually. Emphasize that you’re trying to get a head count for the venue or caterer.

Be Gracious

Instead of yelling at your guests who haven’t responded, take another approach. Guests who don’t respond may be dealing with more than you realize or are embarrassed for not sending in their RSVP. Start by asking if they received your invitation. If they haven’t received it, they don’t even know about the deadline. You want to be able to deal with that situation without making them feel bad.

If they have received the invitation, gently remind them of the RSVP deadline and ask about their intentions. If someone is hesitant, give them a way to bow out. There’s no need to make them feel any worse. You just need a response.

If you have to leave a voicemail, give them another 48 hours to respond. You can say that if you don’t hear from them, you’ll assume they aren’t coming. If you simply can’t get a hold of someone, it’s a pretty good assumption that they won’t attend. Should they respond later, you may just have to be firm in telling them that you won’t have food for them. Maybe they can still attend, depending on the headcount for the venue. Be prepared to handle those situations on an individual basis. Don’t stress too much over non-responsive guests.

Handling Wedding Guests Who Don’t RSVP

Guests who don’t RSVP are the bane of hosts of all kinds of parties, not just wedding receptions. Some experts estimate that up to 20% of wedding guests will RSVP no, while another 60% will RSVP yes. That leaves 20% who won’t respond at all. The reason a guest doesn’t respond isn’t important. Dealing with those non-responders is. Expect to have to call some people on your guest list to find out whether they’re attending or not. Have a plan to minimize your frustration.

Include a Grace Period

Your caterer needs a head count by a certain date. Move your RSVP deadline up about two weeks from that day. This gives you some time to track down those guests who didn’t RSVP. Put some time in your own schedule to handle the situation. You know you’re going to need to deal with non-responsive guests. Planning for it can give you breathing room.

Send Contact Reminders

About a week before the RSVP deadline, send out a reminder by email or text. This gives those folks with good intentions a chance to respond. You should get a few more responses before the deadline. It’s easy to lose track of time and forget to RSVP. Make it as easy as possible to RSVP, either through your wedding website or by responding to the reminder.

Take a Breath

As the deadline gets closer, it’s easy to feel frustrated. Weddings are serious business. Before you start pestering non-responsive guests, shake off those feelings of irritation. Yes, you’re busy and shouldn’t have to track down those guests to get the answers you need. However, your wedding day doesn’t need to be clouded by resentment by you or your guests. Your guests may have busy lives that don’t revolve around your wedding. You don’t know what they’re dealing with. Take a breath and relax.

Make Contact

You and your partner know your guests who haven’t responded. Decide how to make contact with each person on the list. Get help from your wedding party if your list is long. Start by connecting with those who have not responded. If your previous text or email went unanswered, find another way to reach out. Leave a voicemail or meet in person. This is not the time to use a group email or text. Reach out to each guest individually. Emphasize that you’re trying to get a head count for the venue or caterer.

Be Gracious

Instead of yelling at your guests who haven’t responded, take another approach. Guests who don’t respond may be dealing with more than you realize or are embarrassed for not sending in their RSVP. Start by asking if they received your invitation. If they haven’t received it, they don’t even know about the deadline. You want to be able to deal with that situation without making them feel bad.

If they have received the invitation, gently remind them of the RSVP deadline and ask about their intentions. If someone is hesitant, give them a way to bow out. There’s no need to make them feel any worse. You just need a response.

If you have to leave a voicemail, give them another 48 hours to respond. You can say that if you don’t hear from them, you’ll assume they aren’t coming. If you simply can’t get a hold of someone, it’s a pretty good assumption that they won’t attend. Should they respond later, you may just have to be firm in telling them that you won’t have food for them. Maybe they can still attend, depending on the headcount for the venue. Be prepared to handle those situations on an individual basis. Don’t stress too much over non-responsive guests.

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