Dealing With Children At Your Wedding

It’s hard enough to create a guest list for just adults, but dealing with kids at a wedding can be more complicated. When comes to young people, you have to decide first whether you want to and can include them at the affair. If you have space limitations, excluding children is a good place to start to keep the head count in check. If you decide to invite children, you do need to make some arrangements for them. Here are some thoughts to help you plan for children, or not, at your ceremony and reception.

Not Inviting Children

You should be prepared for people to ask you if their children are included on the invitation, even when it’s specifically addressed to just the parents. Have an answer ready, like, “no, we just can’t include children this time due to space parameters,” or “we need to limit the guest list.” If you’re allowing nieces, nephews or family members who are younger, say so. “We are only able to invite the children of our family.” It is very difficult to exclude children, but it is appropriate to only have those individuals at your wedding who you want. Just be tactful when you respond to people.

One additional note: It might be tempting to invite the kids to the ceremony only, but this isn’t recommended. Imagine how you would feel attending the service only to watch your friends or family go off to a party without you.

Inviting Children

Kids add a certain magic to a wedding because they experience it in a way adults cannot. Still, unattended children could easily turn into a black magic moment. You have to plan for kids in attendance.

1. Make sure you are clear about which children are invited from each family. If space isn’t an issue, then just put “and family” on the invitation. When space is an issue, you’ll need to write out each person’s name.
2. Dictate seating appropriately. Don’t put one adult at a table with lots of kids. Certainly reconsider placing all the children at a table without supervision. You might even consider having a designated adult or teenager, or a hired babysitter, keep an eye on things. It would be a small price to pay to maintain semblance and order while allowing parents to dance and enjoy the party too.
3. Talk to the caterer about offering a separate child’s meal that is simple and easy and something little ones will eat, such as chicken fingers or pizza. You might also request that the kids get served first because they won’t be as patient as adults. A sundae bar makes a great dessert option.
4. Keep the kids entertained. Set up a movie room or have goodie bags with crayons and color books. Place a few board games off to the side for after dinner. Provide diversions to keep everyone occupied.
5. Stay calm and have a sense of humor about the way the kids act. Ask your photographer to get those special moments of the kids dancing or sticking their fingers in the cake when no one’s looking. You can’t control every moment, so you might as well relax and just have fun with them.

Don’t apologize for giving your young friends the opportunity to take part in your wedding day. Children need to see these special moments to understand the world. However, you also don’t need to apologize for limiting your guest list and not allowing every child to attend. It’s your wedding and you need to make the best choices for you and your spouse. Do what needs to be done and stand firm. Just be prepared to deal with whichever option you choose to make the most of your ceremony and reception.