Large bouquet of different colored flowers, specifically tulips.
At one of the most prominent weddings of the 21st century, the flowers for the bridal bouquet were carefully chosen. Kate Middleton selected the ones that were important to her family and to the Royal Family. Myrtle was chosen as an emblem of marriage and love, and specifically, the sprigs of myrtle came from a plant grown from the myrtle used in the bouquet of Queen Elizabeth II. Kate chose ivy, the symbolization of fidelity and affection. The hyacinth was representative of “constancy of love.” Sweet William was for gallantry, and the lily of the valley for the return of happiness.
You don’t have to be royal to make a wedding bouquet that’s representative of your partner and yourself. Flowers aren’t only for weddings, either. You may want to use this list when you need to choose a spray for your grandma’s funeral.
The Meaning of Roses
You probably know that red roses are for love. Practically everyone gives these flowers for Valentine’s Day, but roses come in many different colors. Say what you mean by choosing different colors for the bouquet you bring to your loved one:
White – innocence and purity
Yellow – joy and friendship, or a new beginning
Orange – enthusiasm
Dark red – unconscious beauty
Light pink – grace and gentleness
Coral – friendship and modesty
Lavender – love at first sight
Dark pink – gratitude or appreciation
Pale peach – modesty
Yellow with a red tip – falling in love
More Flowers With Meanings
Here are some other popular flowers and greenery that you can choose to say something special:
Bachelor’s button – blessedness
Bay – glory
Chrysanthemum – cheerfulness
Daffodils – regard
Daisy – innocence
Ferns – sincerity
White jasmine – sweet love
Lavender – devotion
Mint – virtue
Red poppy – consolation
Sage – wisdom and mortality
Yellow tulips – hope and cheery thoughts, friendship
White tulips – an apology
Pink tulips – confidence and happiness
Purple tulips – the color of royalty, used to express admiration for someone’s accomplishments
Violets – faithfulness
The white carnation symbolizes pure love. Pink carnations are symbolic of a mother’s undying love. Legend suggests that the pink carnation first appeared from the Virgin Mary’s tears. Purple carnations are for unpredictability. Light red carnations are for admiration; dark red carnations are a sign of deep love and affection.
Another suggestion for symbolic flowers is to host a garden party with your friends and have each one bring a flower or plant that has meaning to the person. Make a pretty flower garden or create a mixed bouquet to remember each other. It would make a nice housewarming gift or a memory for a new bride.
Make a Special Message
Flowers aren’t just for weddings, funerals and special holidays. Take home a bunch of flowers to your loved one anytime to make a special memory. Know the language of flowers to send the right message any time you choose.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, how many words is a flower bouquet worth? Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “the earth laughs in flowers.” Christian Dior believes, “after women, flowers are the most lovely thing God has given the world.” Say something special with flowers.
In order to set smart goals for yourself, you need to get rid of the negativity in your life.
There is a difference between “Goals” and “Smart Goals”. It’s that time of year when everyone sets new goals for the new year. Most people think of January 1 as a clean slate. It’s a day to make changes toward what we want in life. Often, we make such grandiose plans that we’re unable to carry them through. Our expectations are unrealistic. When we forget the resolutions we so carefully crafted, it’s easy to get discouraged and not make any changes at all in your life. This year, take a different approach to the resolutions you set for 2017.
How to Make Smart Goals for Yourself
Businesses have a lot of experience in setting goals. We can look to how businesses approach goal-setting to learn how to better set goals for our personal lives. SMART is an acronym that outlines a basic plan for developing goals that lead to success.
Specific – Your goals should be well defined.
Measurable – You should have a way to know when the goal is reached.
Attainable – The goal should be achievable.
Relevant – The goal should pertain to your overall goals.
Time-based – You should have a time frame to meet the goal.
Goals vs Smart Goals
Here’s an example of what a lot of people say: “I want to get healthier next year.” Although this is a good notion, it’s not exactly a SMART goal, because it’s very general in nature. How can this idea be changed into a smarter goal that can be reached? First, what aspect of getting healthy do you want to accomplish? Specifically, “I want to eat healthier.” Now, we need to add a number to our goal to make it measurable. “I want to pack my lunch four days a week instead of choosing fast food.”
While this goal sounds attainable, you should check it against your calendar. Are you traveling two or three days a week? Maybe you don’t have a way to keep your lunch at safe temperatures. If you have to take kids to soccer, boy scouts and dance every night, it might be difficult to pack a lunch for yourself every morning. Can you manage this goal based on your current lifestyle? Maybe you should start by saying “In January, I plan to pack a healthy lunch two days a week and make healthier choices when I do go out for lunch,” or “I will replace chips and cookies in my diet with fruit and yogurt.”
The relevancy of the goal is fairly obvious. If you want to get healthy, then eating healthier is probably important to you. But you have to look at where you are in life right now. If you’re being pressured into setting a goal that doesn’t mean anything for you, it’s time to go back and set a better goal. To make a goal more relevant, you might want to attach it to another goal. If you want to lose weight, then making healthier food choices would mean even more to you.
You Can Reach Your Goals
With a time-bound goal, you have an endpoint. With our goal above, the endpoint would be January. One month of eating healthier is much more doable than just getting healthy. At the endpoint, you can then examine the goal and the outcomes to decide if you want to try again next month or if you need to adapt the goal to make it “smarter.” Instead of setting one big goal that you never reach, set smaller goals that are reasonable. When you make your goals reasonable and attainable, you’re more likely to carry through.
Göran Persson, former Prime Minister of Sweden, once said, “Let our New Year’s resolution be this: we will be there for one another as fellow members of humanity, in the finest sense of the word.” Let the new year serve as a catalyst for change, but make your resolutions realistic.
Traditional Mail used to be the only means of communication before the internet was a thing.
When was the last time you received traditional mail like a handwritten letter in your mailbox? No, not a greeting card or thank-you note, but a real letter, written with a pen or pencil on paper. Remember the excitement you felt? If you’re like most people, you probably stopped everything and took a few minutes to open that envelope and read the words inside. There’s something about letter writing that demonstrates a special connection and communication.
Articles dating back to 2009 and maybe even earlier talk about how letter-writing is a dwindling art. According to “The Guardian,” about 20 percent of UK students have never even received a handwritten letter. Over half of the recipients had never sent one. One expert believes that letter-writing is instrumental to a child’s development. Receiving a letter is a statement of investment in a relationship. Putting your thoughts and ideas on paper is an effort in “civilized human thought.” Letter-writing is a practical application of spelling and grammar, without the ease of emoticons or shortcuts.
Writing a Traditional Letter
It’s common to start a letter with the phrase, “Dear –,“ but that can feel very stilted and formal in today’s society. You should include some kind of salutation, but it doesn’t have to be traditional. Hi or hello will work just as well when you’re writing an informal letter to a friend. Pretend you’re talking to the person. If you don’t know what to talk about in the body of a letter, here are some ideas:
What made you decide to write the letter
Something about today that reminds you of the person
A memory of the individual
A piece of information or wisdom you’ve always wanted to share
Something you find difficult to say in person
A memory of your childhood that you want your son, granddaughter or mentee to know
Stories of college or the military
If you’ve never written letters before, it may seem weird to have a one-sided conversation. Don’t worry, as you get more accustomed to writing on paper instead of the computer, the words will flow. You don’t have to overthink letter-writing. Spend 15 minutes or so writing the letter, and send it off.
Don’t forget to close the letter. You don’t have to use the very formal “sincerely yours.” Choose a casual sign-off, maybe “toodles,” or “see you later.” Again, just pretend the person is there, and you’re saying good-bye. Sign your name. Be creative and use the name the person knows you as. This isn’t a business letter. If you have a lot of space at the bottom of a page, draw a picture or include your favorite quote. Not many people keep linen stationery around. It’s okay if you just have plain white copy paper. Find stickers or stencils and jazz up the page to make it look special.
Why Traditional Mail?
Teaching our children to write casual letters is the introduction to more formal kinds of communication. It’s very difficult to sit down and write a business letter unless you’ve experienced casual letter-writing. Email and letter-writing might be similar, but they have their differences.
A letter isn’t for bad news or to start a fight. Be positive and creative. Many people have forgotten how to communicate in writing, but getting a letter is fun. Make a resolution to write one letter a month to someone you love. You might choose a shut-in who can’t use technology. Your letter isn’t just for the recipient. Your words tell the story of your life. Sharing this story is a way to bring you closer to your family and friends. It also helps you become more articulate about what has shaped you. Let’s bring back the lost art of letter-writing in 2017.
Men’s Depression is difficult to address. Most men do not wish to leave themselves exposed to that degree.
October 10 marked World Mental Health Day. The focus this year was on raising awareness about men’s depression and mental health. The second leading cause of disability in the world is depression. Sixteen percent of Canadian women experience a major depression at least once in their life. Men, although perceived as more stalwart and less emotional than women, experience depression at a rate of about 11 percent, according to figures from Health Canada. This means that about 840,000 men are affected by depression. The more startling figure is that Canadian men account for more than four times the number of suicides than women. Depression is a leading cause of suicide, which means that this mental health disorder has to be addressed.
Men may find it more difficult to get help because of the misconceptions about depression. Headsupguys.org, funded through Movember Foundation and the University of British Columbia, has launched a movement to help men find the help and support they need to get past depression. On the Headsupguys websites, men share personal stories of overcoming depression as a way to encourage others to reach out for help. To help these measures, we would like to share some of the myths about depression to give you information about getting better. Share with a loved one or use it for yourself.
Misconceptions About Men’s Depression
Depression is a sign of weakness – No, it’s not. Depression is actually a real illness with treatment available from your doctor and therapist.
Real men don’t let things get to them and stay in control of their emotions – Not true. The real strength is in facing the daily challenges that arise in your life and dealing with them, no matter what your emotions do.
Being sad is unmanly – Nope. All humans feel a huge range of emotions every day, sadness included. Men feel many different things and shouldn’t be scared of sadness.
Men should be able to cope on their own without asking for help – Truly, this is wrong. If you broke your arm, you wouldn’t hesitate to ask a professional for help. In business, you’re encouraged to have a mentor. Asking for help and guidance when you’re experiencing mental health problems is not a sign of weakness. It’s actually one of the smartest things you can do.
If you have enough willpower, you can snap out of depression – A big misconception, and completely false. Much like you couldn’t make yourself get over cancer, you cannot just get over depression. You need new tools and resources to learn to approach your life differently and overcome this disorder.
Reaching Out for Help
Once you understand that depression is a serious illness, that doesn’t make it easy to just get help. But you have to take that first step. What can you do? If you’re worried about talking to your doctor, start with a loved one who can help you reach out. Your spouse, your parents, your siblings and even your adult children are a good place to start. Depression makes it difficult to move forward in your life. Ask for help.
Call your doctor and make an appointment to get the ball rolling. Your doctor can go over your symptoms with you and help you find the mental health resources you need. A doctor might suggest medication along with therapy. Don’t be afraid to at least talk about the options. Getting better and back to your life is the most important thing.
There are many 24/7 health crisis lines in Canada that you can call when you want help. Don’t be afraid to reach out. You won’t be wasting their time. The services are anonymous and confidential. Calls are not recorded. If you are in imminent risk, you will be asked if it’s okay to send help. Your privacy will not be violated, and you may find the resources you need.
After his death, Saint Francis was made the patron saint of animals and ecology.
If you’re one of the millions of people who enjoy animal videos online, you’re going to appreciate Saint Francis of Assisi. He lived in the late 12th century into the 13th century, during a time of great unrest in the Middle East. Francis upset his family when his life took a turn toward poverty and the priesthood. He would renounce his wealth and his family in order to serve God. When Francis was canonized after his death, he was made the patron saint of animals and ecology. His love of nature and all creatures makes him someone to remember even today.
Saint Francis and His Legacy
In 1989, Liliana Cavani directed Mickey Rourke in “Francesco,” an Italian film which follows Francis’ life from a son of a wealthy silk merchant in Italy to a soldier in the army who would be captured in a war. Francis would later become a humanitarian and give up his family’s wealth to serve God. The film won three major awards and is a great representation of his life.
During the Fifth Crusade, Francis would attempt to mediate peace between the Christians and Muslims. Although he was unsuccessful, the Franciscans, his order of monks, were given permission to have a presence in the Holy Land. Since the 13th century, the Franciscans have almost steadily been the “Custodians of the Holy Land” for the Catholic Church.
El Greco painted a beautiful rendition of “Saint Francis Receiving the Stigmata.” Saint Francis is said to have received five wounds similar to those that Christ received when he hung on the cross. Although many historians now believe he was stricken with leprosy, at the time it was considered to be a sign of exceptional religious faith.
Saint Francis has inspired many other works of art and music. As recently as 2005, Lewis Nielson composed a concerto for violin, called, “St. Francis Preaches to the Birds.” One of Bernard Malamud’s novels features a main character who lives the life of Saint Francis in Brooklyn during the 20th century.
Francis is remembered as a great poet and writer. Not only do his poems and works have religious value, but also literary value. This is the first few lines of “Canticle of the Sun,” believed to be one of the first works of literature written in Italian:
“Most high, all powerful, all good Lord!
All praise is Yours, all glory, all honor, and all blessing.
“To You, alone, Most High, do they belong.
No mortal lips are worthy to pronounce Your name.
“Be praised, my Lord, through all Your creatures,
especially through my lord Brother Sun,
who brings the day; and You give light through him.
And he is beautiful and radiant in all his splendor!
Of You, Most High, he bears the likeness.”
It was written in the Umbrian dialect and translated into English for us to appreciate.
Your Pet Is an Important Member of Your Family
The church celebrates Saint Francis of Assisi on October 4, commonly with services that include blessings for animals. In many paintings, Saint Francis is portrayed with a bird in his hand because legend has it that he commanded the animals. One legend tells the tale of a wolf who lay down at his feet. Francis is thought to have worked out a pact with the wolf and the town dogs to protect the townspeople. He blessed the wolf.
Pope John Paul II referenced Saint Francis in 1982 on World Environment Day, reminding people to care and to love all of creation, to offer a healthy environment for those who come after us. Everyone can get behind being green and eco-conscious to protect our animals and the plants. You don’t have to be Christian to appreciate Saint Francis of Assisi.
Alzheimer’s can be a very stressful on the relationship between a child and their parents. Dealing with a parent suffering from Alzheimer’s can be extremely stressful.
September is World Alzheimer’s Month. With more than 46 million people in the world living with a form of dementia, it’s time to speak out against this debilitating condition that is often ignored or hidden away. Although the elderly are revered and honored in many cultures, there’s still a stigma about having dementia. It’s not only the individual who is diagnosed with dementia who suffers, but family members who must care for this person are often under more strain and stress from dealing with a parent who is sick. If you’re taking care of a parent who has Alzheimer’s disease, dementia or another chronic condition, here are some tips to help you deal with the complex issues that arise.
Dealing With Parents Who Have Alzheimer’s
Give your parents as much autonomy as you can. Offer options, not orders, when possible. This shows respect for their condition and affirms their value to you.
Expect anger and grief. Your parent is not only dealing with a loss of his or her own body and mind, but of authority. The relationship he or she has always had with you is changing. Anticipate anger and respond in ways that show you understand what he or she has lost.
Separate the emotional dysfunction from the disease. Dealing with a parent who has dementia is hard enough when he or she forgets your name. When your mom or dad calls you by your sibling’s name, don’t assume anything from this. It’s not about who is loved more.
Appreciate your helpers. Find other caregivers who can help you take care of your mom and dad. If you can’t bring in healthcare providers, find members of the community who can offer respite from cleaning or shopping to give you a break.
Ask siblings for help, but remember that everyone has their own baggage they’re dealing with. Ideally, it would be great if the family came together when mom and dad were sick. Realistically, you have no idea what each person is dealing with emotionally when it comes to parental relationships. Just because you’ve worked through your issues, maybe siblings haven’t.
Expect crazy from the family. Impending grief makes people do crazy things. If there’s any kind of inheritance, it compounds the situation. Anticipate the frenzy that can happen when a parent is dying. Know where you draw the line about money. Protect yourself as much as you can.
Take care of yourself. Caring for an elderly parent is a time-consuming job, and it’s probably not your only responsibility. Take time for yourself and your family. Have some fun when you can. Enjoy the good days.
Don’t dwell on the little things. When dad forgets the little things, don’t sweat it. Just go with it. Listen to his stories from the old days. A patient with Alzheimer’s might remember things from 50 years ago while forgetting that he took his medicine just a few minutes ago.
Ask for your parents’ advice when you can. Get them to talk about their past when they are able. Take advantage of the moments and appreciate the good times.
Take things slow. You’re running a marathon, not a race. Get help from the aging council in your community to help you find the right process that works.
You’re not alone in taking care of aging parents. There may not be a cure for the condition your parent faces, but there is a lot of support. Reach out to others and find assistance to help you manage your new role as a caretaker. Talk about the problems of dementia and aging in your community to let others know that they aren’t alone in their struggles. When people come together, it makes a difference.
The Adoption Council for Canada estimates that there are about 30,000 children in Canada’s child welfare system eligible to be adopted. Although many of these children are aged 6 or older, they still need a permanent home where they can grow and thrive in a loving environment. If you’ve been considering an addition to your family, but were afraid of adoption, learn more about it to know if it might be a good solution.
Myths Surrounding Adoptions
Many people are concerned about the costs of adoption, which is understandable. However, a public adoption costs very little, according to the ACC. A private adoption will cost more, but costs vary by organization. It’s estimated that a public adoption costs $3,000 or less. Through a licensed agency, it can run $10,000 to $20,000, and an international adoption can cost $20,000 or more.
Then, there’s always the fear that a biological parent can take back the child. Once a parent’s rights have been terminated, the parent cannot regain custody of the child. Once the adoption is finalized, adoptive parents have the same rights and responsibilities as biological parents when it comes to the child.
Another common myth is that “I don’t qualify.” Whether it’s age, marital status, or relationship-status, there are no hard and fast rules about who qualifies to adopt. Many people over the age of 40 have been able to adopt children. Single parents can also adopt, as can same-sex couples. Actually, in Canada, each province regulates adoptions based on rules that have been set by their government.
Many people are concerned with the needs of the child who has been abandoned or abused. It’s true that children in the foster care system can have emotional, mental or even physical needs that have to be addressed. Their best chance at success is a loving, permanent family who works toward a positive future with the child.
What’s the Process Like?
Although the process may be slightly different based on where you live or the agency you’re using, there is a basic process that can help you understand what it will take to adopt a child. The first thing you need to do is contact the agency and attend their intake meeting. Here, the agency will outline their specific guidelines.
Adoption is a very intrusive process. You’re going to be given an application that is very personal. You may not have even considered some of the questions you might get asked. You can’t get upset by the process. You’re asking to be entrusted with a human soul. This is a very serious matter. The agency has to do its due diligence to know that you are capable of the job. A medical exam is required. You may also be subjected to a police check. Prepare to give references for a background check.
Each applicant will be required to have a homestudy by a licensed social worker. Some agencies offer a class to prepare you for this step. You may choose to delay the process at this point while you prepare or even withdraw. The homestudy is more than just paperwork. You and your spouse (if applicable) will be interviewed. You should expect at least one home visit. The agency worker will probably want to meet with family members to assess your readiness and ability to deal with the adopted child.
Is It Worth It?
There’s no real timeline for the process, because it depends on many different factors. Be patient, because the most important aspect is the child’s needs. Although you may be trying to find your child, the real purpose of adoption is to find a family for a child. There may be disappointments along the way, but once the process is complete it is very rewarding. Think about it. Maybe you can be the difference in the life of a child.
Although the Syrian refugee crisis has been in the forefront, there are many other countries that have their own refugee situation. Some experts believe that Yemen is the next refugee crisis, as there are currently about 2.4 million people who have been displaced because of the war. The greatest percentage of these refugees are Somali. Although the government of Yemen was unified in 1990, the civil war over the last few years has increased displacement because of the weakened economy and political instability.
The Loss of Four Catholic Nuns
For 24 years, the Missionaries of Charity in Aden, Yemen, has taken care of the elderly. Religion and faith were never considered when the nuns of the convent took in the poor and disabled at the nursing home where they had between 60 to 80 residents. The charity was a branch of the one founded by Mother Teresa of Calcutta. The nuns came from other countries, leaving behind all they knew to serve those in distress. On March 4, gunmen attacked the convent and killed four nuns. A priest from Kerala, India, disappeared during the attack. Diplomatic efforts are underway to negotiate his release, but no information is available as of this writing.
None of the residents were killed, but 12 other volunteers also died in the attack. One of the nuns who was killed was from India, while two came from Rwanda, and the fourth was from Kenya. As of this writing, no group has claimed responsibility for the slaughter. These deaths are just a small percentage of the lives that have been claimed over the past year in the Yemeni civil war.
The nuns were aware of the violent situation and given the opportunity to leave. The Bishop who spoke with the nuns believes that it wasn’t heroism that made them stay, but their commitment and dedication to their work. These nuns held the belief that the people they served were entrusted into their care. Some believe the nuns will be remembered as martyrs for their faith.
Standing Against Oppression
On March 4, the same date of the Yemen attack, The Catholic Universe published an article written by Bishop Declan Lang, the chair of the UK-based Catholic Bishops’ Conference Department of International Affairs. In it, he writes, “The persecution of atheists is a grave violation of human dignity throughout the world.” He holds that this oppression violates basic human rights and it “represents a degradation of the fundamental principle that people should be free to hold their own beliefs without fearing for their life or liberty.”
Many times throughout history, one minority group has been oppressed only to have others follow the same fate in future generations. Lang called for the Catholic Church in England and Wales to take a stand and speak out when atheists are persecuted. Although the Catholic Church has had its own PR issues throughout the years, it does deserve a great deal of credit for standing up for atheists.
In the wake of losing four dedicated nuns, the Catholic Church certainly needs solidarity to take a stand against oppression based on religious or non-religious beliefs. While Al-Qaeda had denied responsibility for the attack in Yemen, there is a great deal of unrest from Islamic extremists who stand against anyone with different beliefs. The nuns who died didn’t care about the faith of those they ministered to. They, like many others, were no threat to Islam community, but were killed. Other Catholic churches in Aden have been vandalized and sabotaged.
It may be that one person can’t change those halfway around the globe. However, you can promote peace in your corner of the world. Know what’s happening in other countries to understand how blessed you are to be safe.
If you’re ready for asparagus, morels and fresh spring lettuce, you’re not alone. It has a been a long winter. Shubenacadie Sam and Wiarton Willie, famous weather forecasters from Groundhog Day, were no help in deciding whether winter would continue or not in the north, splitting the vote. Punxsutawney Phil sides with Sam in predicting an early spring. March 21 marks the spring equinox, and it’s hoped that the flowers will be in bloom soon after. Even if they aren’t, find a celebration of spring and enjoy this time of renewal.
Thailand Water Festival
In Thailand, in mid-April, come for the Songkran Water festival. It’s a huge public water fight held in honor of the new year. The water represents the cleansing of negative influences. It might be summer in the southern hemisphere, but you can still think of it being spring. Come for the festival and hope that the flowers will be in full bloom when you return.
Japan Shunbun no Hi
The spring equinox is a national holiday in Japan. They actually celebrate three days before and three days after, but the actual day when the equinox occurs is a day to honor nature and show affection for living things. Part of the Japanese tradition of Shunbun no Hi is to visit their ancestral graves and clean them up. People leave flowers and incense on the graves, then go visit with other family members as part of their spring festivity. They also clean their home and start new activities to renew their life. Farmers pray for luck for the upcoming growing season.
Granny March
In Bulgaria, Granny March or Baba Marta marks the arrival of spring. Legend says that the final snow of winter is just when Baba Marta is in the midst of spring cleaning and is shaking out her feather bed. Beginning on March 1, people give martenitsi, a red and white figure which can almost resemble a tassel, to wear until the first signs of spring appear. Once the trees begin to bloom, the martenitsis are tied to the branches in honor of the season.
The Washington D.C. Cherry Blossom Festival
If you can’t wait until May for Tulip festival in Ottawa, take a trip south to Washington D.C. for the National Cherry Blossom Festival. It begins March 20 and runs through April 17 in the capital of the United States. Much like the tulips are a sign of friendship between Canada and the Netherlands, the cherry blossoms celebrate the ties of the U.S. to Japan. It’s spring and the flowers are in bloom. What better reason could you need for a break from all the snow?
Hindu Holi Celebration
In Southeast Asia, the festival of Holi is also called the Festival of Colors. Legends tell two different tales of why the tradition of throwing powdered pigments at each other got started, but the main idea is that good conquers evil. In one story, Holika attempted to burn her nephew, Prahlad in a bonfire, but he was saved by Lord Vishnu in a strange turn of events. In remembrance, Hindus light bonfires and celebrate Prahlad’s victory. Much of festival is fun, but it also has spiritual significance. It’s a time to renew friendships and forgive those who have hurt you in the past year.
Celebrate Renewal
It doesn’t matter when the first buds of spring occur, it’s just a given that the season will change and the earth will come alive. Enjoy the festivals of spring and remember that you’re given new opportunities to make your life all you want. Take time this year to think about the changes you need to make to make your dreams come true.
One of the most solemn occasions most people ever have to attend is a funeral or memorial service. It can be hard to know what to do or say when someone dies. In today’s world, it is even more common to have friends and colleagues who are from different faiths. Here is some general information about funeral etiquette.
Sending Cards, Flowers, and Food
The sympathy card industry is booming, but Emily Post would tell you that it is considered proper etiquette to actually write a note of condolence. It demonstrates you took the time to really think about what you wanted to say. It doesn’t have to be long, but a personal story about the deceased can tell the family how important that person was to you. In any culture, a sympathy note is always appreciated.
Flowers are another traditional offering for funerals, but there are religions which prefer not to have cut flowers. A Jewish family prefers that you give a gift to charity instead of sending flowers. Many people today are having eco-friendly funerals, in which cut flowers are not preferred, but maybe a plant which can continue to thrive would be welcome. The funeral home or memorial service should have information about the family’s preferences.
It’s also considered appropriate to have a family meal following the service. In most churches, synagogues, and mosques, members prepare food for the family to help them in the first days of grief. If you’re unsure about the family’s preferences, you may choose to send them a gift card for food delivery for an evening when they need it most. Meals that can be frozen are helpful, because the family can take them out as needed.
Attending the Funeral or Memorial Service
You might be wondering what is the difference between a funeral or memorial service? At a funeral, the body of the deceased will be present. A memorial service is one where the body is not, such as a cremation. It’s common to wear dark, muted clothes. A funeral is an important occasion, dress as you might for a religious ceremony or business dinner.
Be on time for the service. Funeral venues may have specific parking instructions when you arrive to help with the procession to the graveside. When you enter the location, you should be quiet. Turn off your cell phone or leave it in your car. The seats toward the front of the venue are generally reserved for family and close friends.
This is not the place to talk to the family. Generally, the family will be in a private room before the service, to come in right before it starts. The service will not begin until the family is seated. You will most likely be given a program to follow the flow of the memorial.
Following the service, there is generally a recessional. The pallbearers take the coffin to the hearse, which will take the body to the gravesite. If you are going to the interment, follow the instructions at the venue. As you exit, there may be a family member who is thanking those in attendance. Keep any remarks brief, to keep the flow going.
Be Authentic and Sincere
When someone dies, it is sad. They will be missed. Sometimes, all you have to do is let the surviving family know that you care. Phrases like, “I’m so sorry for your loss,” or “I’m here to help,” can be comforting. When Jews are in their mourning period known as shiva, visitors actually don’t say anything until the family breaks the silence. Just your presence is enough. You don’t have to fix their sadness, just let them know that you understand. Everyone gets tongue-tied and feels inadequate during a time of grief. Be respectful and solemn, even when you are unsure of what to do.
Large bouquet of different colored flowers, specifically tulips.
At one of the most prominent weddings of the 21st century, the flowers for the bridal bouquet were carefully chosen. Kate Middleton selected the ones that were important to her family and to the Royal Family. Myrtle was chosen as an emblem of marriage and love, and specifically, the sprigs of myrtle came from a plant grown from the myrtle used in the bouquet of Queen Elizabeth II. Kate chose ivy, the symbolization of fidelity and affection. The hyacinth was representative of “constancy of love.” Sweet William was for gallantry, and the lily of the valley for the return of happiness.
You don’t have to be royal to make a wedding bouquet that’s representative of your partner and yourself. Flowers aren’t only for weddings, either. You may want to use this list when you need to choose a spray for your grandma’s funeral.
The Meaning of Roses
You probably know that red roses are for love. Practically everyone gives these flowers for Valentine’s Day, but roses come in many different colors. Say what you mean by choosing different colors for the bouquet you bring to your loved one:
White – innocence and purity
Yellow – joy and friendship, or a new beginning
Orange – enthusiasm
Dark red – unconscious beauty
Light pink – grace and gentleness
Coral – friendship and modesty
Lavender – love at first sight
Dark pink – gratitude or appreciation
Pale peach – modesty
Yellow with a red tip – falling in love
More Flowers With Meanings
Here are some other popular flowers and greenery that you can choose to say something special:
Bachelor’s button – blessedness
Bay – glory
Chrysanthemum – cheerfulness
Daffodils – regard
Daisy – innocence
Ferns – sincerity
White jasmine – sweet love
Lavender – devotion
Mint – virtue
Red poppy – consolation
Sage – wisdom and mortality
Yellow tulips – hope and cheery thoughts, friendship
White tulips – an apology
Pink tulips – confidence and happiness
Purple tulips – the color of royalty, used to express admiration for someone’s accomplishments
Violets – faithfulness
The white carnation symbolizes pure love. Pink carnations are symbolic of a mother’s undying love. Legend suggests that the pink carnation first appeared from the Virgin Mary’s tears. Purple carnations are for unpredictability. Light red carnations are for admiration; dark red carnations are a sign of deep love and affection.
Another suggestion for symbolic flowers is to host a garden party with your friends and have each one bring a flower or plant that has meaning to the person. Make a pretty flower garden or create a mixed bouquet to remember each other. It would make a nice housewarming gift or a memory for a new bride.
Make a Special Message
Flowers aren’t just for weddings, funerals and special holidays. Take home a bunch of flowers to your loved one anytime to make a special memory. Know the language of flowers to send the right message any time you choose.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, how many words is a flower bouquet worth? Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “the earth laughs in flowers.” Christian Dior believes, “after women, flowers are the most lovely thing God has given the world.” Say something special with flowers.
In order to set smart goals for yourself, you need to get rid of the negativity in your life.
There is a difference between “Goals” and “Smart Goals”. It’s that time of year when everyone sets new goals for the new year. Most people think of January 1 as a clean slate. It’s a day to make changes toward what we want in life. Often, we make such grandiose plans that we’re unable to carry them through. Our expectations are unrealistic. When we forget the resolutions we so carefully crafted, it’s easy to get discouraged and not make any changes at all in your life. This year, take a different approach to the resolutions you set for 2017.
How to Make Smart Goals for Yourself
Businesses have a lot of experience in setting goals. We can look to how businesses approach goal-setting to learn how to better set goals for our personal lives. SMART is an acronym that outlines a basic plan for developing goals that lead to success.
Specific – Your goals should be well defined.
Measurable – You should have a way to know when the goal is reached.
Attainable – The goal should be achievable.
Relevant – The goal should pertain to your overall goals.
Time-based – You should have a time frame to meet the goal.
Goals vs Smart Goals
Here’s an example of what a lot of people say: “I want to get healthier next year.” Although this is a good notion, it’s not exactly a SMART goal, because it’s very general in nature. How can this idea be changed into a smarter goal that can be reached? First, what aspect of getting healthy do you want to accomplish? Specifically, “I want to eat healthier.” Now, we need to add a number to our goal to make it measurable. “I want to pack my lunch four days a week instead of choosing fast food.”
While this goal sounds attainable, you should check it against your calendar. Are you traveling two or three days a week? Maybe you don’t have a way to keep your lunch at safe temperatures. If you have to take kids to soccer, boy scouts and dance every night, it might be difficult to pack a lunch for yourself every morning. Can you manage this goal based on your current lifestyle? Maybe you should start by saying “In January, I plan to pack a healthy lunch two days a week and make healthier choices when I do go out for lunch,” or “I will replace chips and cookies in my diet with fruit and yogurt.”
The relevancy of the goal is fairly obvious. If you want to get healthy, then eating healthier is probably important to you. But you have to look at where you are in life right now. If you’re being pressured into setting a goal that doesn’t mean anything for you, it’s time to go back and set a better goal. To make a goal more relevant, you might want to attach it to another goal. If you want to lose weight, then making healthier food choices would mean even more to you.
You Can Reach Your Goals
With a time-bound goal, you have an endpoint. With our goal above, the endpoint would be January. One month of eating healthier is much more doable than just getting healthy. At the endpoint, you can then examine the goal and the outcomes to decide if you want to try again next month or if you need to adapt the goal to make it “smarter.” Instead of setting one big goal that you never reach, set smaller goals that are reasonable. When you make your goals reasonable and attainable, you’re more likely to carry through.
Göran Persson, former Prime Minister of Sweden, once said, “Let our New Year’s resolution be this: we will be there for one another as fellow members of humanity, in the finest sense of the word.” Let the new year serve as a catalyst for change, but make your resolutions realistic.
Traditional Mail used to be the only means of communication before the internet was a thing.
When was the last time you received traditional mail like a handwritten letter in your mailbox? No, not a greeting card or thank-you note, but a real letter, written with a pen or pencil on paper. Remember the excitement you felt? If you’re like most people, you probably stopped everything and took a few minutes to open that envelope and read the words inside. There’s something about letter writing that demonstrates a special connection and communication.
Articles dating back to 2009 and maybe even earlier talk about how letter-writing is a dwindling art. According to “The Guardian,” about 20 percent of UK students have never even received a handwritten letter. Over half of the recipients had never sent one. One expert believes that letter-writing is instrumental to a child’s development. Receiving a letter is a statement of investment in a relationship. Putting your thoughts and ideas on paper is an effort in “civilized human thought.” Letter-writing is a practical application of spelling and grammar, without the ease of emoticons or shortcuts.
Writing a Traditional Letter
It’s common to start a letter with the phrase, “Dear –,“ but that can feel very stilted and formal in today’s society. You should include some kind of salutation, but it doesn’t have to be traditional. Hi or hello will work just as well when you’re writing an informal letter to a friend. Pretend you’re talking to the person. If you don’t know what to talk about in the body of a letter, here are some ideas:
What made you decide to write the letter
Something about today that reminds you of the person
A memory of the individual
A piece of information or wisdom you’ve always wanted to share
Something you find difficult to say in person
A memory of your childhood that you want your son, granddaughter or mentee to know
Stories of college or the military
If you’ve never written letters before, it may seem weird to have a one-sided conversation. Don’t worry, as you get more accustomed to writing on paper instead of the computer, the words will flow. You don’t have to overthink letter-writing. Spend 15 minutes or so writing the letter, and send it off.
Don’t forget to close the letter. You don’t have to use the very formal “sincerely yours.” Choose a casual sign-off, maybe “toodles,” or “see you later.” Again, just pretend the person is there, and you’re saying good-bye. Sign your name. Be creative and use the name the person knows you as. This isn’t a business letter. If you have a lot of space at the bottom of a page, draw a picture or include your favorite quote. Not many people keep linen stationery around. It’s okay if you just have plain white copy paper. Find stickers or stencils and jazz up the page to make it look special.
Why Traditional Mail?
Teaching our children to write casual letters is the introduction to more formal kinds of communication. It’s very difficult to sit down and write a business letter unless you’ve experienced casual letter-writing. Email and letter-writing might be similar, but they have their differences.
A letter isn’t for bad news or to start a fight. Be positive and creative. Many people have forgotten how to communicate in writing, but getting a letter is fun. Make a resolution to write one letter a month to someone you love. You might choose a shut-in who can’t use technology. Your letter isn’t just for the recipient. Your words tell the story of your life. Sharing this story is a way to bring you closer to your family and friends. It also helps you become more articulate about what has shaped you. Let’s bring back the lost art of letter-writing in 2017.
Men’s Depression is difficult to address. Most men do not wish to leave themselves exposed to that degree.
October 10 marked World Mental Health Day. The focus this year was on raising awareness about men’s depression and mental health. The second leading cause of disability in the world is depression. Sixteen percent of Canadian women experience a major depression at least once in their life. Men, although perceived as more stalwart and less emotional than women, experience depression at a rate of about 11 percent, according to figures from Health Canada. This means that about 840,000 men are affected by depression. The more startling figure is that Canadian men account for more than four times the number of suicides than women. Depression is a leading cause of suicide, which means that this mental health disorder has to be addressed.
Men may find it more difficult to get help because of the misconceptions about depression. Headsupguys.org, funded through Movember Foundation and the University of British Columbia, has launched a movement to help men find the help and support they need to get past depression. On the Headsupguys websites, men share personal stories of overcoming depression as a way to encourage others to reach out for help. To help these measures, we would like to share some of the myths about depression to give you information about getting better. Share with a loved one or use it for yourself.
Misconceptions About Men’s Depression
Depression is a sign of weakness – No, it’s not. Depression is actually a real illness with treatment available from your doctor and therapist.
Real men don’t let things get to them and stay in control of their emotions – Not true. The real strength is in facing the daily challenges that arise in your life and dealing with them, no matter what your emotions do.
Being sad is unmanly – Nope. All humans feel a huge range of emotions every day, sadness included. Men feel many different things and shouldn’t be scared of sadness.
Men should be able to cope on their own without asking for help – Truly, this is wrong. If you broke your arm, you wouldn’t hesitate to ask a professional for help. In business, you’re encouraged to have a mentor. Asking for help and guidance when you’re experiencing mental health problems is not a sign of weakness. It’s actually one of the smartest things you can do.
If you have enough willpower, you can snap out of depression – A big misconception, and completely false. Much like you couldn’t make yourself get over cancer, you cannot just get over depression. You need new tools and resources to learn to approach your life differently and overcome this disorder.
Reaching Out for Help
Once you understand that depression is a serious illness, that doesn’t make it easy to just get help. But you have to take that first step. What can you do? If you’re worried about talking to your doctor, start with a loved one who can help you reach out. Your spouse, your parents, your siblings and even your adult children are a good place to start. Depression makes it difficult to move forward in your life. Ask for help.
Call your doctor and make an appointment to get the ball rolling. Your doctor can go over your symptoms with you and help you find the mental health resources you need. A doctor might suggest medication along with therapy. Don’t be afraid to at least talk about the options. Getting better and back to your life is the most important thing.
There are many 24/7 health crisis lines in Canada that you can call when you want help. Don’t be afraid to reach out. You won’t be wasting their time. The services are anonymous and confidential. Calls are not recorded. If you are in imminent risk, you will be asked if it’s okay to send help. Your privacy will not be violated, and you may find the resources you need.
After his death, Saint Francis was made the patron saint of animals and ecology.
If you’re one of the millions of people who enjoy animal videos online, you’re going to appreciate Saint Francis of Assisi. He lived in the late 12th century into the 13th century, during a time of great unrest in the Middle East. Francis upset his family when his life took a turn toward poverty and the priesthood. He would renounce his wealth and his family in order to serve God. When Francis was canonized after his death, he was made the patron saint of animals and ecology. His love of nature and all creatures makes him someone to remember even today.
Saint Francis and His Legacy
In 1989, Liliana Cavani directed Mickey Rourke in “Francesco,” an Italian film which follows Francis’ life from a son of a wealthy silk merchant in Italy to a soldier in the army who would be captured in a war. Francis would later become a humanitarian and give up his family’s wealth to serve God. The film won three major awards and is a great representation of his life.
During the Fifth Crusade, Francis would attempt to mediate peace between the Christians and Muslims. Although he was unsuccessful, the Franciscans, his order of monks, were given permission to have a presence in the Holy Land. Since the 13th century, the Franciscans have almost steadily been the “Custodians of the Holy Land” for the Catholic Church.
El Greco painted a beautiful rendition of “Saint Francis Receiving the Stigmata.” Saint Francis is said to have received five wounds similar to those that Christ received when he hung on the cross. Although many historians now believe he was stricken with leprosy, at the time it was considered to be a sign of exceptional religious faith.
Saint Francis has inspired many other works of art and music. As recently as 2005, Lewis Nielson composed a concerto for violin, called, “St. Francis Preaches to the Birds.” One of Bernard Malamud’s novels features a main character who lives the life of Saint Francis in Brooklyn during the 20th century.
Francis is remembered as a great poet and writer. Not only do his poems and works have religious value, but also literary value. This is the first few lines of “Canticle of the Sun,” believed to be one of the first works of literature written in Italian:
“Most high, all powerful, all good Lord!
All praise is Yours, all glory, all honor, and all blessing.
“To You, alone, Most High, do they belong.
No mortal lips are worthy to pronounce Your name.
“Be praised, my Lord, through all Your creatures,
especially through my lord Brother Sun,
who brings the day; and You give light through him.
And he is beautiful and radiant in all his splendor!
Of You, Most High, he bears the likeness.”
It was written in the Umbrian dialect and translated into English for us to appreciate.
Your Pet Is an Important Member of Your Family
The church celebrates Saint Francis of Assisi on October 4, commonly with services that include blessings for animals. In many paintings, Saint Francis is portrayed with a bird in his hand because legend has it that he commanded the animals. One legend tells the tale of a wolf who lay down at his feet. Francis is thought to have worked out a pact with the wolf and the town dogs to protect the townspeople. He blessed the wolf.
Pope John Paul II referenced Saint Francis in 1982 on World Environment Day, reminding people to care and to love all of creation, to offer a healthy environment for those who come after us. Everyone can get behind being green and eco-conscious to protect our animals and the plants. You don’t have to be Christian to appreciate Saint Francis of Assisi.
Alzheimer’s can be a very stressful on the relationship between a child and their parents. Dealing with a parent suffering from Alzheimer’s can be extremely stressful.
September is World Alzheimer’s Month. With more than 46 million people in the world living with a form of dementia, it’s time to speak out against this debilitating condition that is often ignored or hidden away. Although the elderly are revered and honored in many cultures, there’s still a stigma about having dementia. It’s not only the individual who is diagnosed with dementia who suffers, but family members who must care for this person are often under more strain and stress from dealing with a parent who is sick. If you’re taking care of a parent who has Alzheimer’s disease, dementia or another chronic condition, here are some tips to help you deal with the complex issues that arise.
Dealing With Parents Who Have Alzheimer’s
Give your parents as much autonomy as you can. Offer options, not orders, when possible. This shows respect for their condition and affirms their value to you.
Expect anger and grief. Your parent is not only dealing with a loss of his or her own body and mind, but of authority. The relationship he or she has always had with you is changing. Anticipate anger and respond in ways that show you understand what he or she has lost.
Separate the emotional dysfunction from the disease. Dealing with a parent who has dementia is hard enough when he or she forgets your name. When your mom or dad calls you by your sibling’s name, don’t assume anything from this. It’s not about who is loved more.
Appreciate your helpers. Find other caregivers who can help you take care of your mom and dad. If you can’t bring in healthcare providers, find members of the community who can offer respite from cleaning or shopping to give you a break.
Ask siblings for help, but remember that everyone has their own baggage they’re dealing with. Ideally, it would be great if the family came together when mom and dad were sick. Realistically, you have no idea what each person is dealing with emotionally when it comes to parental relationships. Just because you’ve worked through your issues, maybe siblings haven’t.
Expect crazy from the family. Impending grief makes people do crazy things. If there’s any kind of inheritance, it compounds the situation. Anticipate the frenzy that can happen when a parent is dying. Know where you draw the line about money. Protect yourself as much as you can.
Take care of yourself. Caring for an elderly parent is a time-consuming job, and it’s probably not your only responsibility. Take time for yourself and your family. Have some fun when you can. Enjoy the good days.
Don’t dwell on the little things. When dad forgets the little things, don’t sweat it. Just go with it. Listen to his stories from the old days. A patient with Alzheimer’s might remember things from 50 years ago while forgetting that he took his medicine just a few minutes ago.
Ask for your parents’ advice when you can. Get them to talk about their past when they are able. Take advantage of the moments and appreciate the good times.
Take things slow. You’re running a marathon, not a race. Get help from the aging council in your community to help you find the right process that works.
You’re not alone in taking care of aging parents. There may not be a cure for the condition your parent faces, but there is a lot of support. Reach out to others and find assistance to help you manage your new role as a caretaker. Talk about the problems of dementia and aging in your community to let others know that they aren’t alone in their struggles. When people come together, it makes a difference.
The Adoption Council for Canada estimates that there are about 30,000 children in Canada’s child welfare system eligible to be adopted. Although many of these children are aged 6 or older, they still need a permanent home where they can grow and thrive in a loving environment. If you’ve been considering an addition to your family, but were afraid of adoption, learn more about it to know if it might be a good solution.
Myths Surrounding Adoptions
Many people are concerned about the costs of adoption, which is understandable. However, a public adoption costs very little, according to the ACC. A private adoption will cost more, but costs vary by organization. It’s estimated that a public adoption costs $3,000 or less. Through a licensed agency, it can run $10,000 to $20,000, and an international adoption can cost $20,000 or more.
Then, there’s always the fear that a biological parent can take back the child. Once a parent’s rights have been terminated, the parent cannot regain custody of the child. Once the adoption is finalized, adoptive parents have the same rights and responsibilities as biological parents when it comes to the child.
Another common myth is that “I don’t qualify.” Whether it’s age, marital status, or relationship-status, there are no hard and fast rules about who qualifies to adopt. Many people over the age of 40 have been able to adopt children. Single parents can also adopt, as can same-sex couples. Actually, in Canada, each province regulates adoptions based on rules that have been set by their government.
Many people are concerned with the needs of the child who has been abandoned or abused. It’s true that children in the foster care system can have emotional, mental or even physical needs that have to be addressed. Their best chance at success is a loving, permanent family who works toward a positive future with the child.
What’s the Process Like?
Although the process may be slightly different based on where you live or the agency you’re using, there is a basic process that can help you understand what it will take to adopt a child. The first thing you need to do is contact the agency and attend their intake meeting. Here, the agency will outline their specific guidelines.
Adoption is a very intrusive process. You’re going to be given an application that is very personal. You may not have even considered some of the questions you might get asked. You can’t get upset by the process. You’re asking to be entrusted with a human soul. This is a very serious matter. The agency has to do its due diligence to know that you are capable of the job. A medical exam is required. You may also be subjected to a police check. Prepare to give references for a background check.
Each applicant will be required to have a homestudy by a licensed social worker. Some agencies offer a class to prepare you for this step. You may choose to delay the process at this point while you prepare or even withdraw. The homestudy is more than just paperwork. You and your spouse (if applicable) will be interviewed. You should expect at least one home visit. The agency worker will probably want to meet with family members to assess your readiness and ability to deal with the adopted child.
Is It Worth It?
There’s no real timeline for the process, because it depends on many different factors. Be patient, because the most important aspect is the child’s needs. Although you may be trying to find your child, the real purpose of adoption is to find a family for a child. There may be disappointments along the way, but once the process is complete it is very rewarding. Think about it. Maybe you can be the difference in the life of a child.
Although the Syrian refugee crisis has been in the forefront, there are many other countries that have their own refugee situation. Some experts believe that Yemen is the next refugee crisis, as there are currently about 2.4 million people who have been displaced because of the war. The greatest percentage of these refugees are Somali. Although the government of Yemen was unified in 1990, the civil war over the last few years has increased displacement because of the weakened economy and political instability.
The Loss of Four Catholic Nuns
For 24 years, the Missionaries of Charity in Aden, Yemen, has taken care of the elderly. Religion and faith were never considered when the nuns of the convent took in the poor and disabled at the nursing home where they had between 60 to 80 residents. The charity was a branch of the one founded by Mother Teresa of Calcutta. The nuns came from other countries, leaving behind all they knew to serve those in distress. On March 4, gunmen attacked the convent and killed four nuns. A priest from Kerala, India, disappeared during the attack. Diplomatic efforts are underway to negotiate his release, but no information is available as of this writing.
None of the residents were killed, but 12 other volunteers also died in the attack. One of the nuns who was killed was from India, while two came from Rwanda, and the fourth was from Kenya. As of this writing, no group has claimed responsibility for the slaughter. These deaths are just a small percentage of the lives that have been claimed over the past year in the Yemeni civil war.
The nuns were aware of the violent situation and given the opportunity to leave. The Bishop who spoke with the nuns believes that it wasn’t heroism that made them stay, but their commitment and dedication to their work. These nuns held the belief that the people they served were entrusted into their care. Some believe the nuns will be remembered as martyrs for their faith.
Standing Against Oppression
On March 4, the same date of the Yemen attack, The Catholic Universe published an article written by Bishop Declan Lang, the chair of the UK-based Catholic Bishops’ Conference Department of International Affairs. In it, he writes, “The persecution of atheists is a grave violation of human dignity throughout the world.” He holds that this oppression violates basic human rights and it “represents a degradation of the fundamental principle that people should be free to hold their own beliefs without fearing for their life or liberty.”
Many times throughout history, one minority group has been oppressed only to have others follow the same fate in future generations. Lang called for the Catholic Church in England and Wales to take a stand and speak out when atheists are persecuted. Although the Catholic Church has had its own PR issues throughout the years, it does deserve a great deal of credit for standing up for atheists.
In the wake of losing four dedicated nuns, the Catholic Church certainly needs solidarity to take a stand against oppression based on religious or non-religious beliefs. While Al-Qaeda had denied responsibility for the attack in Yemen, there is a great deal of unrest from Islamic extremists who stand against anyone with different beliefs. The nuns who died didn’t care about the faith of those they ministered to. They, like many others, were no threat to Islam community, but were killed. Other Catholic churches in Aden have been vandalized and sabotaged.
It may be that one person can’t change those halfway around the globe. However, you can promote peace in your corner of the world. Know what’s happening in other countries to understand how blessed you are to be safe.
If you’re ready for asparagus, morels and fresh spring lettuce, you’re not alone. It has a been a long winter. Shubenacadie Sam and Wiarton Willie, famous weather forecasters from Groundhog Day, were no help in deciding whether winter would continue or not in the north, splitting the vote. Punxsutawney Phil sides with Sam in predicting an early spring. March 21 marks the spring equinox, and it’s hoped that the flowers will be in bloom soon after. Even if they aren’t, find a celebration of spring and enjoy this time of renewal.
Thailand Water Festival
In Thailand, in mid-April, come for the Songkran Water festival. It’s a huge public water fight held in honor of the new year. The water represents the cleansing of negative influences. It might be summer in the southern hemisphere, but you can still think of it being spring. Come for the festival and hope that the flowers will be in full bloom when you return.
Japan Shunbun no Hi
The spring equinox is a national holiday in Japan. They actually celebrate three days before and three days after, but the actual day when the equinox occurs is a day to honor nature and show affection for living things. Part of the Japanese tradition of Shunbun no Hi is to visit their ancestral graves and clean them up. People leave flowers and incense on the graves, then go visit with other family members as part of their spring festivity. They also clean their home and start new activities to renew their life. Farmers pray for luck for the upcoming growing season.
Granny March
In Bulgaria, Granny March or Baba Marta marks the arrival of spring. Legend says that the final snow of winter is just when Baba Marta is in the midst of spring cleaning and is shaking out her feather bed. Beginning on March 1, people give martenitsi, a red and white figure which can almost resemble a tassel, to wear until the first signs of spring appear. Once the trees begin to bloom, the martenitsis are tied to the branches in honor of the season.
The Washington D.C. Cherry Blossom Festival
If you can’t wait until May for Tulip festival in Ottawa, take a trip south to Washington D.C. for the National Cherry Blossom Festival. It begins March 20 and runs through April 17 in the capital of the United States. Much like the tulips are a sign of friendship between Canada and the Netherlands, the cherry blossoms celebrate the ties of the U.S. to Japan. It’s spring and the flowers are in bloom. What better reason could you need for a break from all the snow?
Hindu Holi Celebration
In Southeast Asia, the festival of Holi is also called the Festival of Colors. Legends tell two different tales of why the tradition of throwing powdered pigments at each other got started, but the main idea is that good conquers evil. In one story, Holika attempted to burn her nephew, Prahlad in a bonfire, but he was saved by Lord Vishnu in a strange turn of events. In remembrance, Hindus light bonfires and celebrate Prahlad’s victory. Much of festival is fun, but it also has spiritual significance. It’s a time to renew friendships and forgive those who have hurt you in the past year.
Celebrate Renewal
It doesn’t matter when the first buds of spring occur, it’s just a given that the season will change and the earth will come alive. Enjoy the festivals of spring and remember that you’re given new opportunities to make your life all you want. Take time this year to think about the changes you need to make to make your dreams come true.
One of the most solemn occasions most people ever have to attend is a funeral or memorial service. It can be hard to know what to do or say when someone dies. In today’s world, it is even more common to have friends and colleagues who are from different faiths. Here is some general information about funeral etiquette.
Sending Cards, Flowers, and Food
The sympathy card industry is booming, but Emily Post would tell you that it is considered proper etiquette to actually write a note of condolence. It demonstrates you took the time to really think about what you wanted to say. It doesn’t have to be long, but a personal story about the deceased can tell the family how important that person was to you. In any culture, a sympathy note is always appreciated.
Flowers are another traditional offering for funerals, but there are religions which prefer not to have cut flowers. A Jewish family prefers that you give a gift to charity instead of sending flowers. Many people today are having eco-friendly funerals, in which cut flowers are not preferred, but maybe a plant which can continue to thrive would be welcome. The funeral home or memorial service should have information about the family’s preferences.
It’s also considered appropriate to have a family meal following the service. In most churches, synagogues, and mosques, members prepare food for the family to help them in the first days of grief. If you’re unsure about the family’s preferences, you may choose to send them a gift card for food delivery for an evening when they need it most. Meals that can be frozen are helpful, because the family can take them out as needed.
Attending the Funeral or Memorial Service
You might be wondering what is the difference between a funeral or memorial service? At a funeral, the body of the deceased will be present. A memorial service is one where the body is not, such as a cremation. It’s common to wear dark, muted clothes. A funeral is an important occasion, dress as you might for a religious ceremony or business dinner.
Be on time for the service. Funeral venues may have specific parking instructions when you arrive to help with the procession to the graveside. When you enter the location, you should be quiet. Turn off your cell phone or leave it in your car. The seats toward the front of the venue are generally reserved for family and close friends.
This is not the place to talk to the family. Generally, the family will be in a private room before the service, to come in right before it starts. The service will not begin until the family is seated. You will most likely be given a program to follow the flow of the memorial.
Following the service, there is generally a recessional. The pallbearers take the coffin to the hearse, which will take the body to the gravesite. If you are going to the interment, follow the instructions at the venue. As you exit, there may be a family member who is thanking those in attendance. Keep any remarks brief, to keep the flow going.
Be Authentic and Sincere
When someone dies, it is sad. They will be missed. Sometimes, all you have to do is let the surviving family know that you care. Phrases like, “I’m so sorry for your loss,” or “I’m here to help,” can be comforting. When Jews are in their mourning period known as shiva, visitors actually don’t say anything until the family breaks the silence. Just your presence is enough. You don’t have to fix their sadness, just let them know that you understand. Everyone gets tongue-tied and feels inadequate during a time of grief. Be respectful and solemn, even when you are unsure of what to do.
