Plans

Wedding Day Sobriety: A Guide for Guests
If you’re a wedding guest attempting sobriety, it’s natural to feel a little anxiety. Some smart advice can help you remain a faithful teetotaler.

If you’re a wedding guest attempting sobriety, it’s natural to feel a little anxiety. Some smart advice can help you remain a faithful teetotaler.

Wedding receptions often offer the perfect trifecta of food, fun, and drinks. Yet, this can present significant challenges for guests recovering from alcohol dependency. Fortunately, sitting out these celebrations isn’t the only option. Since sobriety is an important goal, how can this be achieved when the booze is flowing and emotions are high? Some smart advice can help you remain a dedicated teetotaler.

Guests in Recovery: You’re Not Alone

If you’re a wedding guest aiming for sobriety, it’s natural to feel a little anxiety. After all, you’re in a social situation where alcohol is plentiful and you’re surrounded by others who drink. Ravishly contributor Britni de la Cretaz describes feelings of loneliness when attending receptions. Medium writer Tiffany Swedeen mentions her own temptations to imbibe. SobrieTea Party’s Tawny Lara admits her own struggles. Before she tried recovery, she usually found herself drinking too much at others’ nuptials.

Powerful physical and psychological cravings are frequently triggered by emotional stress, fatigue, nostalgia, or feeling left out. Unsurprisingly, all these emotions and conditions can resurface at weddings. You may encounter some saboteurs, as blogger Dana Bowman points out. However, most of your fellow attendees don’t wish to interfere with your recovery.

Stay Alcohol-Free With These Tips

Swedeen, de la Cretaz, and Lara draw on their own experiences, offering advice to wedding guests planning on sobriety. One valuable tip is to stop worrying about how others view you. Most people will not notice or concern themselves with what you’re actually drinking, so having a non-alcoholic beverage in hand can be a lifesaver. This can be anything that makes you feel comfortable: lime and seltzer water, a soft drink, a cup of coffee, or anything else you like.

Enlisting a trustworthy individual or two could help you avoid indulgence.  Be sure to give bartenders a heads up, letting them know not to serve you intoxicating drinks. You may wish to bring along a sober friend, seek out another teetotaler at the festivities, or have someone you can call or text if you need support or feel unsafe.

Distracting yourself is also a great approach when you’re at a reception. Take advantage of food, dancing, music, camaraderie, and activities. Are you a champ at horseshoes, darts, or croquet? Use the lawn games to show off your prowess. Hit the dance floor. Eat an extra cupcake. Talk someone else’s ear off. You get the idea.

Refrain From Judging Other Guests

One common pitfall that Lara mentions is the habit of silently judging others. As an individual in recovery, you could find yourself eying other guests’ behaviors. Looking down on them for their drinking and intoxication won’t contribute to your own efforts. Lara reminds readers that everyone’s relationship with alcohol is a little different. Respect is key, so remember that others’ drinking habits have nothing to do with your own sobriety.

Know When To Walk Away

While you’re planning ahead for your friends’ reception, don’t forget to construct an exit strategy. Feel free to leave early if you must, especially if you feel too tempted to drink. If you’re bringing a sober companion, let that person know that you may want to depart before the reception ends. Those attending alone should make sure they have phone numbers of reliable friends or a transport company just in case.

Don’t Worry: You’ve Got This

Recovering from alcohol dependency isn’t an easy process, but social situations can make it rougher than usual. While you want to enjoy yourself at your friends’ wedding reception, it can also be an opportunity to re-acclimate to scenarios in which alcohol is served. Staying sober requires some advance planning. Keeping a nonalcoholic drink in hand is a useful strategy, along with relying on supportive friends and having an exit plan ready.

The Destination Wedding and its Growing Popularity
A destination wedding on a beach has become fairly common as the scenery is beautiful.

Many people choose exotic beaches to hold their destination wedding. Generally you will want to pick a place that most, if not all of your attendees will be comfortable and will have fun.

The Destination wedding has been growing steadily in popularity for many years. At first glance, the thought of rushing away from Canada toward an international spot might be an expensive one. In truth, destination weddings are far easier to plan and do not require the same level of financial commitment. To be successful with your wedding, you will need to make sure you go about the process in the right way and consider a few key elements.

Times change and trends change along with it. While weddings have been happening all over the world for quite a bit of time, the ways weddings happen always shift in style and scope. For many years now, the trend for weddings has been to throw a large and somewhat lavish event. Even small-scale weddings can wind up costing a fortune due to the way many couples go about their events. Now, many people are turning away from this trend and opting for something more personal and affordable. Not all couples will benefit from a destination wedding but it can be interesting to learn some of the pros.

Keeping the Destination Wedding Cost Down

A wedding has a habit of being a costly endeavor. You need to rent a venue, find caterers, think about decorations, hire entertainment, bring on a photographer, and that is only the beginning of it. You might be spending frustrating amounts of money on everything from stamps for your invites to the tips you give to the servers at the end of the reception. Instead of dealing with all of that, you can condense all of your expenses in one swoop. A destination wedding limits your options in the best ways possible.

For example, if you decide to go to Costa Rica for your destination wedding, then you might want to stay at a specific resort. This resort probably sees a lot of weddings throughout the course of the year, and it may offer some excellent packages for you and your guests. This means you can find a venue, caterers, entertainment, and hotel rooms in the same place. On top of all of this, you will be surrounded by the lush views and cool breezes of Costa Rica. 

Fewer Guests 

Something to be mindful of with a destination wedding is that you will need to keep your guest list low. This is a perfect idea for couples who do not have extensive circles of family and friends. Unfortunately, you also need to make sure the people you are inviting are able to afford the trip. Keeping your own costs down for the wedding is one thing, but you will be asking your guests to shell out a lot more money for your event than they would have at home.

Before you start to make all of your plans, sit down with your significant other and come up with a realistic list of who you would like to be present for your wedding. Reach out to these people and speak to them about your idea. If it seems like most people wouldn’t be able to make the journey for your wedding due to financial constraints or scheduling problems, then you should probably consider another option. You could always go away somewhere tropical and inviting for your honeymoon.

A World to See 

There are many different reasons to consider a destination wedding. With such a big world out there to see, you and your partner simply might want to start your married life in a new location. Before you get ahead of yourself, be sure to consider the specifics of your event and whether you’re making the right choice for you and the people you care about. In the end, make the decision that will help you and your significant other to have the special day you both desire.

Talking About Funeral Plans With Your Loved Ones

ThinkstockPhotos-482746437It’s only three months into the year, and the world has mourned the deaths of many popular figures. Alan Rickman, Maurice White, René Angélil, and Nancy Reagan are just a few of the beloved celebrities who have passed away in 2016. This should remind everyone that life is short, and you never know when you will have to deal with a death of a loved one. No one wants to think about it, but the best time to discuss funeral plans with your family is when you’re healthy. Here are some tips to open the dialogue with your parents, spouse, or sibling about your own wishes in the event of your death.

Before you can talk about what you want, you need to think about your desires. Do you have funeral arrangements? Do you want to be cremated? What kind of a service would you like? You cannot give your family a plan without having one. Make some notes about what should go into your obituary. Sometimes, children have no idea what you did before you were their parent or what you believe is important to be noted in the announcement.

Starting a Difficult Conversation

Talking about death isn’t easy. Make time in a neutral setting. Start talking about your health. Assure your loved ones that you aren’t dying, but you do have an important topic to talk about. Explain why you want to tell them about your funeral plans. Remind them of a time in your family when plans weren’t in order and how crazy that was. Tell them you just want to make it easier for them in the event of your death, which you hope doesn’t happen for a long time.

You should be prepared for different reactions. People may respond in various ways, which is perfectly understandable. Bringing up this topic can really catch your children or spouse off guard, so they might react with denial, “I just can’t think about this right now.” In that case, tell them you understand, but you would like to be able to share the information with them. You may need to give them a day or two to process the conversation. You may want to change the subject and bring it up in a couple of days.

Another reaction is alarm or disbelief that you’re healthy. You may get asked if you’re not telling them something. Remember that you’ve been thinking about this subject for a while, and they are just hearing about it. Death is not something that people generally talk about. Many people think that if they don’t talk about something, it just won’t happen. Don’t push, just segue into another topic.

If You Just Can’t Bring It Up

For whatever reason, you just can’t talk to those you love. Maybe your kids are too young, or they aren’t in a stage of life where they can deal with your future death. It’s okay. Families have different communication styles. The way to get around this is to write things down. You don’t need to give every detail. Put your instructions with your other important papers. Be assured that this will definitely help your loved ones when the time comes.

One recommendation, even if you have talked to your family: It would still be a good idea to put your wishes in writing. People forget. Loved ones disagree about what is truly your voice. If you only talked to one person, but there are multiple people making decisions, the one you told might be in a place where he or she has to defend your wishes. Having a written plan can help those you leave behind to really know what you want. Once you’ve explained your own plan, you can then ask your loved ones to think about their own wishes, just in case.