Married

A Guide To Hosting a Bridal Shower
Preparing to throw a bridal shower? Take a look at some of these common questions people have when first putting together a bridal shower.

Preparing to throw a bridal shower? Take a look at some of these common questions people have when first putting together a bridal shower.

When a close friend or relative decides to task you with the responsibility of putting together a bridal shower, it can be a big honor. You want to make sure you throw an event that will satisfy the happy couple without straying too far from their sensibilities. Of course, there are also a lot of tasks associated with this kind of event. If you’ve never had to throw a party like this before, you might not be sure how to get things going. Thankfully, a bridal shower is far from an impossible task to accomplish.

Take a look at some of these common questions people have when first putting together a bridal shower. Learning these answers early can help you throw a fantastic event to celebrate the happy couple.

Inviting the Right People

One of the most difficult things you’ll have to figure out is who to invite to the shower. The couple most likely will be spending a ridiculous amount of time ironing out the details of the wedding guest list, which means you can’t just invite anyone to this party. The biggest rule to remember for invitations is that you should not be inviting anyone to the shower who will not be receiving an invitation to the wedding itself. The best way to avoid this mistake is by coordinating with the couple and figuring out exactly who they would like invited.

Depending on how close you are to the nearlyweds, you might be able to simply use your best judgment with the invitations. When you already know their friends and family members, you most likely will have a good idea of who should be receiving an invitation. When you aren’t sure, reach out and try to get some more information. Don’t guess when you aren’t positive, as you might wind up making an awkward error. It also is a good idea to try and keep the event small, as you are probably paying for it.

All in the Timing

You also may need a bit of information on when you should be planning this event. More often than not, the couple will ask you to throw the shower by a certain time. In specific cases, you might be told by the bride or groom exactly when he or she wishes the party held. When you aren’t given any set details to follow, you’ll need to select the date yourself. Generally, you want to have the shower no earlier than five months before the date of the wedding.

On the reverse side, you want the shower to be at least three weeks before the wedding. This large gap of time makes it easy to pick a date and have enough room to plan out all the details. Unless the event is very small, you are most likely going to need a little bit of help organizing everything. Try to not involve the couple too much. Instead, reach out to other close friends and see who might be able to offer some assistance. Involving a few other people can also keep the costs down, which is a huge help.

No Surprises

Finally, if you are a maid of honor or member of the wedding party, you need to respect the wishes of the nearlyweds. When you are told that they don’t want a shower, you should not take it upon yourself to throw one. It might seem like a fun idea, but you do not want to go against a specific request. Do what is asked of you, and you’ll be the biggest asset that the couple requires.

Putting together a wedding shower takes a bit of time. As long as you don’t rush into the responsibility, you should have no trouble throwing a lovely event.

 

Responsibilities of a Wedding Guest
A great wedding guest can make or break your wedding experience.

To be a great wedding guest, make sure that you are polite and courteous.

April showers bring May flowers, but for brides, April showers bring June flowers. Summer is a popular time for weddings, so you might start getting invitations from your friends who are getting married. To survive wedding season, be the best wedding guest you can. Here are a few tips to help you:

  • RSVP by the date requested. Do not put the invitation aside for a few days, because you’ll forget. Don’t make the couple track you down for an answer.
  • Look at the invitation to see who was invited. Do not invite anyone yourself. If your children aren’t mentioned on the envelope, they are not invited to the wedding. It is customary to invite partners, but if you aren’t married or in a long-term relationship, you may have to go single.
  • Show up if you RSVP “yes.” Barring an emergency, don’t change plans at the last minute. The caterer will charge the couple for your plate, whether you show up or not.
  • Do not talk about the wedding with friends who may not have been invited. This means on social media too. You don’t want to come off as boasting or make others feel bad because they were not invited.
  • Be on time for the ceremony. Better yet, be there 10 to 15 minutes early to get the lay of the land. When you arrive late, you disrupt the flow of the ceremony. If you do arrive late, wait for a break in the action to sneak in.
  • Dress appropriately. If the invitation says “semi-formal,” don’t wear jeans. For a beach wedding, dress more casually. Don’t wear white.
  • Put your phone on silent during the ceremony. Let your babysitter know your phone will be off for a half-hour to forty-five minutes and promise to check immediately after.
  • Don’t take pictures during the ceremony. Respect the wedding photographer.
  • Ask the couple if you can share pictures on social media before you do.
  • Send the gift, if you do, to the home of the bride or groom. Don’t make them deal with more stuff at the reception.
  • During the reception, sit where the bride and groom have placed you. Make conversation with those around you. It’s only for a couple of hours. Your phone will wait.

What About the Rights of a Wedding Guest?

Wedding guests also have rights that come with their invitation:

  • You can expect to receive an invitation if you received a save-the-date card.
  • You have the right to decline the invitation if you cannot attend. No explanation needed, just say, “Thank you, I’d love to be there, but I can’t.”
  • You can ask the couple if you need clarification about your invitation. Maybe you want to make sure you understand the dress code or are confused about the plus one.
  • You have a right to not send a gift at all. You also have up to a year to send a wedding gift.
  • If you do send a gift, you have a right to expect a timely thank-you note. You might want to give the couple a few weeks after the wedding to wrap up all their duties, but if you don’t receive a thank-you note within three months, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask if they received your gift.
  • You should take advantage of the open bar, but don’t overdo it.

Have a Good Time

A wedding is a celebration, and you should have a good time. Thank the host and hostess, typically the bride’s parents, before you leave. Don’t be offended if you don’t get a few minutes with the bride and groom. One of the best things you can do as a wedding guest is to be flexible and gracious, no matter what happens at the ceremony or reception.