Loved Ones

Steps to Leaving a Family Legacy
Leaving something behind for your loved ones, like a family legacy, will not only help them in life but will help them down the road.

A family legacy is a great way to have loved ones remember you and all that you have done.

May was National Leave a Legacy month, a public awareness campaign that encourages people to leave a gift to a favorite charity when they die. The idea was to support a cause that was near and dear to your heart with money as a lasting family legacy, kind of a footprint to be remembered by those in your community.

Most people hope that their life matters. Maybe you don’t have the money to leave to a charity. A financial gift can do a lot, but according to Billy Graham, “The greatest legacy one can pass on to one’s children and grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one’s life, but rather a legacy of character and faith.” Although no one likes to consider their death, the best way to leave a legacy is to consider it now. Here are five things to think about when planning your legacy:

  1. What’s most important to you in your life?

Think about what you want to leave as your legacy. If your family were to think of you 10 years after you die, what would you want them to remember?

  1. Where did you find inspiration or transformation in your life’s journey?

Maybe you had a life-changing moment in a college class. Were you touched by cancer? What has made you who you are today?

  1. What blessings have you been given that you want to share with others?

These blessings could be tangible, for example, a set of chinaware given to you by your grandmother, or intangible, such as peace or kindness. If you have tangible items that your family doesn’t appreciate, think about who might use the objects. Check with local museums or charities.

  1. What causes are important to you?

Most people support at least one organization in some way. It could be a church or synagogue. Maybe you have a favorite 5K run you do each year. Your passion is your legacy.

  1. Who do you mentor?

Mentoring isn’t always a formal relationship. You can mentor people in your family, your church or your community just by being available. These relationships can last a lifetime, even after the period of mentorship is over. These people are your legacy.

Planning a Family Legacy

Your will is not a legacy, but it can be part of it. A written memorial can help your family know what you want after your death, but your legacy encompasses so much more. Whether you plan to leave a legacy or not, you will have a legacy. You may not ever think about how people will remember you, but they will remember who you were and what your passions were. You can’t really tell people how to think of you after you die, but you can leave ideas on how you want to be remembered.

Think about the people in your life who have passed on. Maybe you remember your grandpa smoking a pipe and telling stories. For some, it might be the smell of fresh apple pie coming from Aunt Mabel’s kitchen. Those are the legacies of your loved ones. It’s likely that Aunt Mabel never told you to remember her apple pie, but you did. Your children and grandchildren are likely to be the same way.

Those activities and character traits you pursue will be your legacy. What you’ve been dedicated to throughout your life is what you will be honored for. If you don’t like the legacy you are leaving, then it’s time to change your life. Maybe you will want to give money to a charity or leave a note to your family about something special to you. More importantly, think about relationships, faith and character. Are you living the way you want to be remembered?

How to Honor Lost Loved Ones at Your Wedding
It is always great to have a moment to remember lost loved ones and celebrate the memories that you shared with them.

Remembering lost loved ones at your wedding is a great way to honor the lives that they lived.

A wedding is a special and joyous occasion for most people. Still, the events can be tinged with a bit of sadness in certain circumstances. When close loved ones or a relative has passed away before your wedding, it can leave a void. While coping with your sadness is a personal journey, there are ways to use your wedding to honor those who would have been there for you. A wedding is a celebration, so you want to avoid bringing down the mood too much. Luckily, there are several methods you can use to pay respect to those who have gone on.

It is very important to consider a few details before you come up with a plan for how to honor your lost loved ones. When someone has only recently passed away, the wound can still be quite raw and hard to deal with. Be sure to avoid upsetting your guests, especially if the person who has passed away was very close to the people in attendance. You will be able to properly pay tribute without ruining the overall celebratory mood of your special day when you use tact and caution while planning.

Incorporate a Memento For Your Lost Loved Ones

There are several natural ways to honor the people who have died during your wedding. We always carry the people we have lost with us in some way. You can take this sentiment to a very literal degree on your special day. Taking an article of clothing that once belonged to your departed loved one and incorporating it into your wedding attire can help you to add an emotional touch to your ensemble. This can be as simple as tying a ribbon from your grandmother’s hat around your bouquet or as complex as having a father’s suit re-tailored for a groom.

You also can incorporate mementos into the ceremony and reception in other ways. Instead of adding articles of clothing to your own outfit, you might want to think about adding different little touches. If the person who has passed on loved to play poker, for example, add a playing card to each of the centerpieces during the reception. The cards can even have a personalized inscription paying tribute to your departed loved one. These small adjustments to the décor can be subtle and still incredibly powerful.

A Simple Reminder

You also might want to think about adding a simple message about your deceased loved ones to the wedding program. While not all weddings feature programs, those that do can benefit from using some of the space to display a special sentiment. It can also be an interesting idea to consider speaking with the officiant before the ceremony and asking about different ways you can have the names of the departed incorporated into the readings. There are several easy ways to add in a moving tribute without having to weigh on the lighthearted atmosphere of the wedding.

Photos can be a good idea, too. Creating a touching collage of photos of you and the departed can create a nice walk down memory lane. You may also want to consider adding just one framed photo to the table where the guest book and table cards are located. This allows guests to pay their respects to the departed upon entering without feeling too emotionally upset by the reminder. Strike a balance that works for you and the situation, and the results will be effective.

Raise a Glass 

There are many different ways to use your wedding to honor the departed in your life. When all else fails, you might want to think about simply raising a glass and toasting to those who have passed away. Find the right fit for your big day without compromising the joyous celebration of the event, and you will be able to show your proper respects.